Talk

Flip

Feminism: sex and gender

Feminism: chat

Sexual insults at football

7 replies

Fitterbyfifty · 03/04/2022 13:59

Bit of a rant - sorry! I have two sons that play football (17 and 12) and the level of insults that are hurled on the pitch is shocking. My sons' team won't allow it but the other teams often do. Yesterday the opposing team's captain angrily shouted "f@k all your family" at my elder son. This is becoming more common. My younger son was recently temporarily banned for pushing a player who said "your mum f@ks around". The other player was 12!! No punishment. I'm not condoning what my son did but the atmosphere is horrible now. Even some of the parents join in! I am not in the UK and some of the insults are in Italian (local language) and some in Arabic- but all the players understand them. I get that trying to wind each other up is part of the game but more and more frequently this is directed at women especially the players' mothers. My ds was really confused at first - I had to explain that this player didn't actually know me - he was just trying to wind him up!! As I said, it seems impossible to fight as my sons' team actually forbids it but they can't control other teams. Is it as bad in the UK?

OP posts:

Report

girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 14:02

Aren't attacks aimed at peoples relatives part of the Italian 'culture'? I do think it's a very Italian thing for insults of that nature - ie 'your mom fucks around'.

IME in the UK insults are aimed at the in social they're aiming to upset.

Report

Fitterbyfifty · 03/04/2022 14:11

Possibly. I don't think any insults should be allowed though - especially not at the younger children's matches. There are so many parents that just see it as banter though.

OP posts:

Report

WalltoWallBtards · 04/04/2022 12:03

I’m a football coach, for 10/11 year olds, and the ref would intervene for that kind of language and any of my players talking like that would be subbed, and given a proper talking to. We have a behaviour pathway for kids AND parents.
Currently we have one dad banned from coming to his daughters games.
We’re trying to teach our girls respect, discipline, FairPlay and teamwork. Unfortunately they then watch Premiership (make) players fighting, spitting, diving and swearing a refs and think that it must be okay if their heroes do that.

Report

WalltoWallBtards · 04/04/2022 12:17

We also keep our parents behind a Respect line which the opposite side to where the players sit and a metre back from the pitch which helps with the ‘over enthusiasm’ from some of the dads. The kids can’t hear them most of the time.

Report

ThatsNotItAtAll · 04/04/2022 12:32

I'm in Germany and two of my children (one girl and one boy) have been playing local football for over 10 years. It used to be mostly civilised aside from sometimes snide/ unpleasant comments by parents to one another (not shouted at the players but spoken loudly for the amusement of their team parents) which usually the players didn't hear (but siblings watching with parents did).

The very occasional nasty shouty aggressive dad popped up but rare enough for everyone to generally feel sorry for their individual child and roll their eyes.

Now DD's team are a lot more successful than they used to be they're encountering more aggressive (verbally) family members supporting - mainly dads - although thankfully nothing remotely sexual or actually threatening, just generally shouting and swearing...

My youngest is thinking of starting playing (a bit late to the party at 11) and the atmosphere of his potential team seems more unpleasant, with much shouting of whoreson 😡 but he and his big brother say that's the case at school now too - language had apparently not evolved but de-volved recently...

Report

ThatsNotItAtAll · 04/04/2022 12:37

I disagree withgirlmom21 about the language culture of insults in the UK though - at least in England and among teens. I used to teach secondary school in England and the most cutting insult 20 years ago was apparently "Your mum.." leaving the end of the sentence to the imagination.

The English language is and always has been rich with phrases to insult people by insulting their mothers and questioning their parentage. Insult as old as the nuclear family and possibly older. Odd to suggest that is specifically Italian!