IUD birth control and being called "dramatic"

[FlowerTomb]

I’ve seen yet more posts (mainly on Tiktok, Twitter etc) about the pain involved in having IUD birth control coils fitted. I don’t have one and don’t plan on ever getting one, but I’m just absolutely gobsmacked that not that many doctors seem to be taking this seriously. I’ve seen time and time again that no pain medication is offered, that it’s being sold as “painless” and when spoken about with the doctor, the result is that you’re called “dramatic”.

I don’t actually know anyone (to my knowledge) that has one, so I’m just wondering about others’ opinions really. Is anyone else very shocked (and pissed off!) about this, or is this just part and parcel with women’s health not being taken seriously and this whole situation is very unsurprising to the majority?

I have mine under GA

@mrkb pretty much my experience, minus dislodging it. I had it taken out, as I just couldn’t cope anymore. A friend made me see sense when she said “why are you doing this to yourself?”. Trouble is, hormonal contraception is also tricky for me.

@EarlGreywithLemon I agree with everything you say but wouldn't describe the anti epidural brigade as feminist at all (even if it's how they describe themselves).

I think many women are more dismissive of other women's pain than they would be of a man's pain- there are examples on this very thread. I'm not sure what to call this except sexism. I really struggle to believe it's just "I managed so so can you" given that we all know how different births can be (not just the subjective experience of pain but everything else which contributes to how painful it is).

I am confident that if large numbers of men described a medical procedure (perhaps having their urethra clamped open and something stuck into it) as agony, people would believe them. And yet women are routinely not believed and told that the issue is in their heads.

@flipflopping I see what you mean. And I wouldn’t describe them as feminists either!

I’m a dentist, it never ceases to amaze me how people “big up” their experience of dentistry. I don’t doubt that it’s not pleasant and some procedures are pretty scary but when teenagers come in for extractions for orthodontic treatment and have never had any treatment before hand, they are often petrified after being told many stories by other teenagers. My first question is “ has that person ever had a tooth taken out” usually the answer is no. I then point out that having no experience means they cannot have an opinion.
As for IUD I’ve had 4 fitted, the plastic speculum is a bit grim ( the old stainless steel ones were far more comfortable), there is a bit of a wave of sensation when they insert it through the cervix ( I have never had a clamp used to open the cervix only one around it if it has tipped) but I realised after the first time that taking painkillers 30mins before the procedure made a massive difference.
I had IUD because of stage 4 endometriosis which frequently caused days of excruciating pain. A few seconds of discomfort was worth it for 15 years of no pain.
In fact I would happily have had 2 hours of severe pain to achieve the life changing result I had. I must have saved thousands of pounds on sanitary products and the drug industry would definitely have seen a drop in profits.

@EarlGreywithLemon agree that a problem is that a lot of women disbelieve the experiences of others based on their own. I find it odd, personally, and it is often specifically to do with gynaecology issues. I wonder if some women, who perhaps do have some mild pain/discomfort, think that this is what's being referred to and therefore others are overreacting.

I've actually found something similar with having PGP in pregnancy. Quite a few women I've spoken to also had it, but much later on in their pregnancy and seemed baffled/presumed I was exaggerating when, at around 22 weeks, I was in tears from the pain by midday! Not to mention the midwife who brushed it off as 'normal pregnancy discomfort'...!

Like most procedures people only take to social media to complain.
I’ve just had a lumpectomy for breast cancer. My amazing surgeon did a therapeutic mammoplasty because my affected boob was bigger and droopier than my healthy one. I had a text book recovery and an amazing cosmetic result.
Have a google of therauputic mammoplasty and results. I struggled to find any positive images when I was researching pre surgery. Loads of procedures gone wrong or poor reviews.
I belong to a breast cancer support group, frequently new members are looking for advice/experience of lumpectomy/mammoplasty and I am happy to post images.
People who have positive experiences don’t leave the GP thinking “I must go and tell the world how my IUD insertion was uneventful”
Anyone posting about a simple medical procedure on social media is doing it for attention.

Double post but, to add, I did take paracetamol and ibuprofen before insertion and it didn't help one bit. I wasn't offered any numbing gels so didn't know that was an option and, as I said before, I am fine with smears so didn't have any anxiety that might have contributed to the pain.

Not that the pain of the insertion (agree with a pp who described it as like being assaulted as it was so unexpected!) can be attributed to the long-term nightmare after effects of cramping and really heavy bleeding with each subsequent period for a year! I appreciate that my experience isn't everyone's so why do some people think that, because theirs was excellent, bad experiences must be exaggerated?

@mrkb I wonder if some women, who perhaps do have some mild pain/discomfort, think that this is what's being referred to and therefore others are overreacting.

I think that's spot on. Or that they did something "right" to only have the discomfort. I have a close friend who did, in fact, faint after the IUD was inserted. She also took painkillers beforehand.

And the pain for the whole time I had it in - yes, yes, yes. Again dismissed as "the IUD settling". By contrast, when it was taken out, I really did only feel a moment of discomfort.

My first question is “ has that person ever had a tooth taken out” usually the answer is no. I then point out that having no experience means they cannot have an opinion.

I've had teeth out in the dentist's chair. First was an impacted wisdom tooth when after about an hour of tugging, and covered in blood and real "knee on the chest" type pulling, the dentist managed to cut it into smaller chunks and get it out. I had a face the size of a melon and in his defence he did at least admit that he should have referred me to the dental hospital instead of trying that. The chemist where i went to get my meds after literally dragged me into the shop, sat me down and administered the first dose before i collapsed.

So yes, there are absolutely fucking painful horrendous extractions. They may not be the norm but anyone who tries to minimise not only the pain but the actual terror of dentists that has caused me would probably get a physical reaction if they did it in my presence.

I am in no doubt that this is not the norm, but i've had 2 teeth (other was a normal molar) out like this (2nd not as bad) so i know it happens. I also know that most other extractions are not massive blood and trauma filled events. But to deny that some people have problems is the same as those who insist getting an IUD is fine because theirs was fine.

As it happens i can't remember much apart from it hurting way more than i expected getting mine in. Getting it out made me faint. The OB/GYN who did it apologised and said that usually they don't offer strong anasthetics because usually it's fine and you never know who will react badly. I changed OB/GYN for the resulting pregnancy and never got another IUD.

Again, i know that many many people don't have problems. But lots do. Enough to make LA at least the option that should be offered to everyone.

Minimising women's pain seems to be a hobby for a lot of people, including lots of health professionals unfortunately.

I’ve had 2 fitted, and I’ve had 2 standard births, and I didn’t find the mirena painful at all. I felt a pop when the dr pushed it through my cervix but not anything past mild discomfort and only for a second. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, it means it didn’t hurt me. I think the problem is the doctors will have read the insertion instructions and it probably says ‘1 in 20 experience mild discomfort’ and that’s a beginning and an end of their learning on it.

I have a really high pain threshold, have had various surgeries and came off pain medication really early after them, took only paracetamol after my cesarean and only for about 4 days.

Having the coil fitted made me faint from the pain, I begged her to stop but she said it was half way in so it would hurt just as much to get it out. So I let her continue.

I then got a pelvic infection that left me bedridden for a week.

Can't say it was painful for me. Uncomfortable, sure, and I got a split-second shooting pain when it was inserted, but it was less uncomfortable than I expected.

Fell out two weeks later though.

I think the problem is that women expect these things to hurt, so they tense up and obviously it then does become more painful.

The first time I had a coil fitted, the clamp hurt like fuck. Seriously, I was clutching the edge of the bed and swearing. Then the Dr repositioned it and the pain become bearable. Removal was worse - it felt like someone was ripping a fish hook out of my insides. This may not be standard though - I had to have it removed as the coil had moved and got jammed in my cervix, as a result of the GP not properly measuring my womb during fitting.

My second insertion didn't hurt at all. No pain. I have no idea why. I don't know if it was just the technique the GP used or if I was in a different part of my cycle or what.

So I would say that there are a wide range of possible outcomes and none have anything to do with the woman in question being dramatic or brave.

@Hallyup89 I had zero expectations when I went in to have mine fitted! I'd always had smears with no problem, or just with a bit of discomfort. I took the doctor at face value when she said it could be "uncomfortable" and expected no more than that. So I didn't tense up - initially. I probably did once I was in agony and about to vomit/faint!!

I’ve had two- a copper coil when I was about 25 and had not had a child. It was at a Marie Stopes clinic and it was uncomfortable but not unbearable. Think I had some period-like cramps for a few days afterwards. I was amazed at how easily it came out at the GP ten years later when I got it out to TTC- that truly was painless.

I had a Mirena inserted a few months ago. I’ve had one straightforward vaginal birth, though my pain threshold is quite low as I asked for (and got) an epidural after not very much labour at all. The Mirena insertion was completely painless. I don’t remember any clamp being used. It was over in seconds. It was done by a consultant gynaecologist though, and they had a nurse there to hold my hand, so I got the sense that others find it much more painful. The nurse did comment that she was amazed how calm I was, so I was clearly at the extreme end of the scale. I don’t say this to brag- I think I was just lucky. And when I say painless I really mean that, not that I gritted my teeth and just coped with the pain.

I do find it concerning that women’s stories of pain are not being believed. However I also think it would be a shame if women were put off even thinking about the coil by stories of painful insertions, because they are not a given. They key, I guess, is to make it clear that you will be listened to if you ask them to stop.

On a separate note I’m shocked that there are thirty and forty year-olds using Tik Tok!

Pain is whatever the patient says it it!

I’m saying this again because it’s so disappointing that just because some people found it pain free, everyone also must be the same way. I’ve had 2 children with no pain relief, but my last smear appointment experience has resulted in me deciding to have a private HPV test first rather than have another scrape of my cervix
If someone on here is saying an IUD fitting removal was painful, then it was!

I was given a spinal anaesthetic to have a coil fitted due to previous complex surgery, PTSD and vaginismus - at that time they said all women with periods problems had to try them - within minutes of the coil going in I was in agony and in tears . Kept in hospital for 24 hours as I passed out with it, heavy bleeding etc - told perfectly normal . I was back in hospital within 3 days - still told it was normal and it would settle down .

I spent the next two and a half years in agony pleading for them to take it out - refused time and time again and told I was being silly and over dramatic and it was probably anxiety .

Collapsed at work eventually, and told I’d gone into cervical shock - the coil was half out, and twisted back on itself and too big for me - was pushing against the sides of my womb and causing contractions apparently .

They then said two months later I needed another one - as seemingly they’re the only good cure for PCOS and endometriosis (my
periods were seeing me being admitted for morphine) - told I’d get an apt to ‘discuss’ it, went to that appointment and gynaecologist told me she’d try to fit it there and then and ‘I surely didn’t want to waste her time, that they didn’t give anaesthetics any more and there was no need for silly dramatics - all I remember was her shoving a needle in my cervix, and absolute agony - she couldn’t get coil in . Told I was a silly girl and that I’d just have to put up with my periods if I wouldn’t let them give me the ‘cure’ .

I went back to my GP who was appalled and told me never to see that woman again - I’m still struggling immensely with my periods now six years on, but refuse point blank to have anything to do with gynae at all, they can keep their ‘help’ to themselves .

Would Valium or similar be likely to help? I am often tense and have a low pain threshold so I take a Valium before getting a smear and it’s a doddle. As well as reducing anxiety it relaxes the muscles - wouldn’t that also help with getting a coil fitted?

I’m appalled by some of these experiences. Why do they think they have a right to decide what happens to our own bodies?
Maybe we have to start using the phrase “I decline/withdraw consent to have this thing left inside me, or for you to continue to treat me when it’s causing me agony”
Its not right to be belittled or dismissed in such ways. Our treatment is supposed to be based on informed consent, not being dictated to like children. 😡

I always find smears unpleasant and cramp-inducing. I’ve had three copper coils. The first insertion was somewhat worse than a smear, possibly because I was young and anxious. The second and third were easier than my smears. I always had cramping for a day or so. For some reason the third coil induced or coincided with heavy, painful periods so I had it removed after about a year.
Until this it was my favourite method of contraception

I am super nervous generally and have a low pain threshold. I got my knickers in an absolute twist about having my coil changed and whilst it wasn’t much fun it was bearable . Pretty much like having a smear, just took a few more minutes

I had one fitted in the mid 80s. I complained about the intense pain during insertion and was told that I was the only person who had found it uncomfortable. It’s horrific that women aren’t listened to and our pain is minimised.

i was in my twenties when i had mine fitted , childless , i was warned it would possibly be painful and the clinic gave me painkillers to take beforehand , it was painful , but i certainly would never say its on a par or worse than childbirth at all and i dont have a high pain threshold , had bad cramping for a few hours after before it settled down . and after that never had any probs at all , i had another fitted after i had my child and i felt hardly any pain this time , its not a procedure id say warrents a GA maybe a local but no more than that , lets face no one expects to get a GA to have teeth extracted so why for an iud insertion

@hellrabbitishere because some people go find it more painful than childbirth or tooth extraction! I understand that it would be tricky to offer a GA to everyone having a coil fitted, and that’s an issue. But that’s not to say that the pain isn’t awful for some. I’m not sure what the answer is, but don’t think it’s dismissing it.

I also really don’t get the attitude of “putting up with pain” if there are solutions. Why? I had a knee operation a few years ago; it was done privately. The anaesthetist came down to chat pre -op and warned me that it’s painful surgery, that staff in recovery would try to fob me off, and that I should insist on sufficient pain relief. And he was right!

I came to, they gave me an analgesic (not sure if IV or injection) and then asked “Is it still painful”? I said yes (it was) and they said “ah, but you’re supposed to feel some discomfort”. With the anaesthetist in mind, I insisted, was duly given extra pain relief and all was well. No pain from then on, so I was able to mobilise as required, etc. It didn’t need to be sore at all. To this day I don’t understand why they did that - it was private after all, so presumably my insurer was charged for the analgesics. But I think it is part of this wider attitude of it being somehow the right thing to do to suffer through the pain. Unnecessarily I might add.