Feminism: chat
Women 'hitting the wall'
dietpepsi13 · 11/02/2022 19:29
I have seen an abundance of you tube channels and so many men online who seem to spend a lot of time bashing women pretty much over the age of 30, I've now learned that it's called the 'red pill' or 'manosphere ' and the more I read about it, the sadder I become that this level of hatred actually exists towards women now, that these guys should assign worth to a woman based just on how she looks and what age she is. Of course I'm aware that not all men think like this, but I was actually shocked to find these misogynistic communities online and I'm not even that old. Why do these men actually end up like this? I'm a lesbian so obviously don't have much understanding of relationships with men beyond friendship
crabappleof · 11/02/2022 20:47
They are the sort that think women owe them pretty.
Could be related to a sense of entitlement originating in an overly-adoring mother relationship early in their development?
My exH adored me - that's how it felt - up to the point of late in my first pregnancy. I genuinely thought he loved me as a person. With hindsight, the adoration waned slowly up until the point I started to look middle-aged. Then he moved on to others. My value to him was solely my youthful attractiveness. Very sad individuals, these men.
TheWeeDonkey · 12/02/2022 17:58
I've noticed it's quite common on some forums, which is why I try to avoid SM it's so depressing. How much the men saying these things really believe it is anyone's guess.
I used to work with a man who'd loudly proclaim that women were past their sell by date past 30and no use at all, although he talked adoringly of his wife who was in her 40s. Of course he was a pretty gross individual himself. I think it was a form of gaslighting or undermining of the women in the office. Like marking his territory "don't think we've employed you because of your talents" kind of thing.
I paid him little mind, he seemed like quite a sad man.
1Week · 13/02/2022 00:21
Are they not just young lads though? It's normal enough for young men to not fancy women much older than them, statistically normal, rightly or wrongly its the way it is. But the majority of normal, well adjusted young men find a partner and happily grow older with her, even if they never stop fancying young women in their heads.
Thinking older women are past it is understandable, surely. I'm quite happy with age taboos as long as it applies both up and down the way
I also think using crude and disrespectful language is a subculture bonding thing, and I don't think the crude chat to violent misogynist pipeline is real, generally.
I've come across bits of this only so am not an expert.
EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 13/02/2022 11:07
crude and disrespectful language is a subculture bonding thing, and I don't think the crude chat to violent misogynist pipeline is real, generally.
The more we learn about the culture at Met Police, the more real that it seems and the implications of that are far-reaching.
1Week · 13/02/2022 13:46
@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus
The more we learn about the culture at Met Police, the more real that it seems and the implications of that are far-reaching.
I think there's probably a lot of different dynamics involved.
I've not been following the Met thing in any detail, so won't comment on that.
But there's - especially now- a lot of disapproval over certain words or discourse - it can lead into a subversive thrill and bonding exercise to say the naughty words out loud. It's not a hate thing against the subject of the words, it's predominantly a kick against the authorities that tell them not too. I suppose its like shouting Willy and Bum in a school yard.
EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 16/02/2022 14:27
@Brefugee
It is interesting that there isn't really a female equivalent of the Incel/Red Pill brigade making similar YouTube (and other) videos.
What's interesting is that the concept of incel (involuntary celibate) was identified by women and originally the discussion was around lonely people struggling to find love.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-45284455
As men dominated and (according to the 'founder') hijacked the word "as a weapon of war", it became something else altogether.
www.theguardian.com/world/2018/apr/25/woman-who-invented-incel-movement-interview-toronto-attack
The only vague equivalence that comes to mind is Valerie Solnas' SCUM Manifesto but you'll be aware of the controversies and discussions around that (and her attempted murder of Warhol).
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCUM_Manifesto
Would Solnas make YT and TT videos today?
Wanderingstars4238 · 16/03/2022 11:19
I had men calling me an "old maid" because I wasn't married by 25. That was still a common worry for women (In the US, 20 years ago) that they'd be unmarried at age 15, the "old maid" age.
I don't hear it as much now and I think the pool of men who think that way is shrinking. My best friend is happily in a relationship with a man 15 years younger. Misogyny just seems worse because the internet and media are exposing it more.
I was just on Reddit reading conversations in a section called Ex-Redpill. It was so refreshing to see men calling out misogyny and realizing how dangerous the Redpill group is. Maybe I'm too optimistic but I think things are getting better. Slowly.
ScreamingMeMe · 17/03/2022 08:29
This misogynistic cliche has been around since the dawn of time hasn't it? "Men age like wine, women age like milk". Thankfully, in the real world, people can have happy fulfilling relationships with plenty of attraction involved regardless of how "old" they are. I almost feel sorry for these men - their skewed views of women and life in general is really holding them back, but they only have themselves to blame I suppose.
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