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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

Shag week

25 replies

frogswimming · 01/02/2022 12:18

I am a mature student at Dublin City University and receive all the university student union emails. Today I got this:

"Sec, Anal and sti's oh my!

Hello everyone,

As your VP Wellbeing, one of the key areas I must focus on is Sexual Health. With that, I am sending a reminder about all of the events this week for SHAG Fest - Sexual Health & Guidance Festival.

SHAG Fest aims to empower you with all of the sexual health information you could need. It also teaches principles of sex posivitiy and pleasure. We have some evening events, 2x lunchtime sessions, & more.

I'd like to highlight our first large-scale in-person indoor event of Semester Two:

Sex Quiz & Dildo Bingo w/ DCU Fem Soc & Host Maura Darragh in aid of Women's Aid | 6-9pm | The Venue | Tickets €4 | Buy your tickets herere_ *

All the information you may need including where to source free STI tests, free condoms / lube, access to crisis pregnancy & abortion services, information on consent, low-cost prescriptions, information on PrEP & other HIV Prevention and more, can be found heree_.

More information on SHAG Fest available heree_.

As always, if you have any questions / concerns / etc. please get in touch :)

Kind regards,"

The events are:

"Bottoming 101: Why Anal Might(or
might not!) Be For You w/ VP Wellbeing
Solas Room | U Building | 5-6pm

Live Episode of PozVibes Podcast w,
Robbie Lawlor & Veda
Steps in U Building | 1-2pm
Sexual Health Quiz & Dildo Bingo in
collab w/ FemSoc w/ host
Maura Darragh:
The Venue | 6-9pm

Sex Work Q&A Panel Discussion w/
CAIN & more special guests
| Steps in U Building | 1-2pm"

Maybe I'm an old prude. But it doesn't sound very empowering or very promoting of well being for an 18 year old girl who has just started university. Thoughts?

OP posts:
1940s · 01/02/2022 12:27

I think there are elements that are massively important. So many 18 year olds will have lived sheltered lives and may want to seek information on all of those topics, also 'sex work' is so fluid in its meaning now with so many young students using only fans or similar sites to fund studies.

I think the education some of those events will provide will be very very useful. I can't personally see the anal 101 class attended by anyone taking it seriously, perhaps a few teens going for 'a laugh'

OhHolyJesus · 01/02/2022 13:20

Based on that content, I'm a bit worried about the live episodes...

This is the, now quite common, tactic of coupling useful, common sense information sharing about safe sex etc with more outlandish, shock-factor, less socially acceptable discussion like 'bottoming', all sugar coated with 'sex positivity'.

You have to ask yourself, who benefits?For example, we know women don't benefit from anal sex like men do because women don't have orgasms through anal sex so you have to wonder how centring men's pleasure (and women's subordination) benefits women?

One question for the Dildo Quiz, will the men be using them?

SageRosemary · 01/02/2022 13:41

Maybe I'm an old prude too. There will be some 17 year olds, male and female, on campus, anyone who skipped Transition Year

I am shocked and saddened that Women's Aid have allowed themselves to be associated with this event.

Maura Darragh is NOT a woman despite the name.

Veda is not a woman despite the name.

"Fast Sex" for men's benefit seems to be the drive behind all these themed weeks, get youngsters drinking to excess, "consent" becomes blurred.

Original poster
frogswimming · 01/02/2022 13:48

I thought there should be some discussion about consent. Also, other types of sex other than anal, no mention of lesbian sex. And there doesn't seem much on contraception other than condoms. It seems very male centred.

OP posts:
thinkingaboutLangCleg · 01/02/2022 13:58

This is the, now quite common, tactic of coupling useful, common sense information sharing about safe sex etc with more outlandish, shock-factor, less socially acceptable discussion like 'bottoming', all sugar coated with 'sex positivity'.

Another sneaky tactic. Thanks for pointing it out, Ohholy. Sunlight is what’s needed.

Bonheurdupasse · 01/02/2022 14:06

@SageRosemary

Maybe I'm an old prude too. There will be some 17 year olds, male and female, on campus, anyone who skipped Transition Year

I am shocked and saddened that Women's Aid have allowed themselves to be associated with this event.

Maura Darragh is NOT a woman despite the name.

Veda is not a woman despite the name.

"Fast Sex" for men's benefit seems to be the drive behind all these themed weeks, get youngsters drinking to excess, "consent" becomes blurred.

Actually, especially from down the country, even 16 year olds (old boyfriend didn't do TY and was in UCD at 16).
Devilmakes3 · 01/02/2022 14:15

I despair that in Ireland we have jumped from the doctrine of right wing misogyny and control right over to a new doctrine of left wing misogyny and control. Still as much of the same old misogyny as there ever was.

The only thing that really gives me hope is that there really are some genuinely nice and well brought up teens and young adults out there too who seem to be reasonably well adjusted in spite of these attempts at indoctrination. I work with that age group and I have generally extremely positive daily interactions with them ….though obviously I thankfully know nothing of their sexual expectations.

UltraVividLament · 01/02/2022 14:25

This idea that being a (female) student inevitably involves thinking about selling sex or sexual services (like pictures, webcams) is really quite unnerving. To the point that it is one of the main events highlighted in this "fest".

Junction5aOnTheM4 · 01/02/2022 14:40

I'd be super pleased if my daughter's uni covered all this stuff. Better informed and armed, than naive and vulnerable. Well, more vulnerable.

The only thing I don't see on there and wish I saw in more places, was safe sex for lesbians. I'm probably just shit at this sort of thing, but it was difficult for me to source dental dams to help me help my teenager feel supported.

WonderfulYou · 01/02/2022 14:43

It seems very male centred.

I read it as very female centred - pregnancy, abortion, lube, dildos, saying no to anal sex, sex work etc is all aimed at females.

The wording sounds like it’s going to be a fun party but that’s why they’re doing it to encourage as many young people to come as possible.

If they have fun whilst they’re learning something valuable then great.

Original poster
frogswimming · 01/02/2022 14:48

I don't think it's about saying no to anal sex. I think it's about considering if you want to have it. The anal sex event occurs twice in the timetable. There's no dedicated event on consent, which I would have expected given the recently released statistics from female students about sexual coercion. Surely consent and contraception affect more students than sex work and anal sex. I don't see any mention of other contraception choices - the pill, injections, etc etc.

OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 01/02/2022 15:01

They can’t list everything they’re going to go through. And they have mentioned consent and contraception above.

The events - anal sex and sex work - will absolutely talk about consent and coercion. That will probably be their main focus.

Sex work is very common in female uni students but it’s not spoken very often.

I highly doubt the anal sex event will be just about anal sex but they have to grab their attention and encourage them to come.

UltraVividLament · 01/02/2022 15:31

@WonderfulYou

"Sex work is very common in female uni students but it’s not spoken very often."

Is it? How common? Why only female students, and should this be something that is welcomed or is a concern wrt those students and their university experience?

OhHolyJesus · 01/02/2022 15:32

Sex work is very common in female uni students but it’s not spoken very often.

I wonder why that is...Hmm

Nothing on clitoral stimulation and the female orgasm.

Nothing on female erogenous zones.

I imagine anything on 'sex work' will cover how to do it 'safely', maybe there will be printed booklets with reminders to carry condoms or a practical demonstration of how to get out of a choke hold.

Again, with anal sex workshop will be how to do it 'safely' with lubricant as it's all 'sex positive'.

I despair about universities, increasingly I don't think they are a 'safe place' for young people (freedom of thought, freedom of speech) and far less so for young women. I would steer young women away from them to be honest.

If getting a degree means you have to be penetrated - to be cool, to pay for annual fees, to eat - then it's a no from me.

DrBlackbird · 02/02/2022 08:54

I despair about universities, increasingly I don't think they are a 'safe place' for young people (freedom of thought, freedom of speech) and far less so for young women. I would steer young women away from them to be honest

Honestly the mums (?) replying saying how great for their daughters to have this information just do not realise what university campuses have become for young women. The casual misogyny, sexism, and objectification of women has become normalised, acceptable and utterly rampant. Underlying this is often anger against women. Where this is coming from I don’t know. But I despair at this ‘jokey’ but harmful SU’s email as much as I despair at some of these PPs comments and apparent willingness to throw young women under the bus.

Interesting that this Graun article came up today…Makes for sobering reading

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/feb/02/it-stopped-me-having-sex-for-a-year-why-generation-z-is-turning-its-back-on-sex-positive-feminism

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 02/02/2022 17:38

Sex work is very common in female uni students but it’s not spoken very often

Absolute rubbish.

SantaClawsServiette · 02/02/2022 17:55

This stuff is such bs.

Even the basic stuff on consent and birth control - I appreciate that their intentions are good, but I remember sitting through that kind of thing when I first was at university and god it was awful. I would have loved to just have a flyer pointing me to the sexual health clinic if I needed it.

One of the things that bothers me about this stuff is that it gives students the impression that they really ought to be thinking about all this, trying to get laid all the time, wanting to experiment with all kinds of things. Otherwise they are sex negative, and obviously that must be lame, or even bad, right?

It sets up a bad dynamic right from the get go.

OhHolyJesus · 02/02/2022 18:11

This seems an appropriate share.

I agree that;

"University of Leicester....toolkit is in effect a grooming kit"

https://nordicmodelnow.org/2022/01/22/nordic-model-now-delivers-leicester-student-sex-work-petition/

"Katie then stepped forward and, in a slightly shaky voice, said that that’s what happened to her when she was at university, because sex work was so normalised and she’s still bearing the consequences now, five years later. Pears and Cavendish were silent – as if shocked or unable to speak. Katie took another step forward and reiterated her point and repeated what she said, to which one of them replied, “Yes, we’ve heard you.”

That's their response? Do they sound like people who understand the suffering Katie went through?

EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 04/02/2022 16:57

I would guess that lesbian sex and anything else specifically related to female bodies gets left out because transwomen would object to it excluding them.

Flywheel · 05/02/2022 15:23

No, sex work is not extremely common among students in Dublin. It's a fringe activity, although certain groups are pushing extremely hard to encourage and normalise it. Why, and who's does it benefit? Not the young female students.

AlessandraAsteriti · 07/02/2022 21:16

As an 18 years old I would have thought them perverts. I still do

ScrollingLeaves · 17/02/2022 19:20

“Sex work is very common in female uni students but it’s not spoken very often."

I’d question going to university in the first place then.

Goatsaregreat · 17/02/2022 19:30

So the 'hosts' are 2 gay men and a drag queen? talking to 18 year olds about "sex work, anal", sexual health and dildos and ???

Doesn't seem to feature women / lesbians in any way? What a surprise.

Clymene · 17/02/2022 19:58

Events run by men for men. With a donation going to womens aid as a sop to stop women complaining. I looked at the DCU sexual health link. It's woeful:

The word women doesn't appear once.

They talk about gay male sex and heterosexual sex but not lesbian sex.

They talk about every single kind of STI but there is zero mention of the fact that women present very differently than men with an STI. Often it's symptomless.

There two men doing the live podcast run an HIV podcast. Young women are very very unlikely to get HIV.

Events run by men, for men. With some forced teaming and grooming thrown in for good measure.

If my daughter was at this university, I would pull her out.

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