Miss/Mrs etc

[NMC2022]

Slightly random one!
For work, I have to ask for a title as well as full name. I find when I ask for title then quite a few people don't always understand (accents etc) so I'm struggling to ask and ending up with saying "Mrs? Miss? Ms?" and not wanting to offend people
How would you prefer to be asked? To be clear I don't care what you pick, we have everything from Captain to Lady to Rev but if you don't pick something, it won't let me add you as a customer

I think "Ms? Mrs? Miss? Dr?" Just about covers it. Then you aren't assuming "just" standard titles so the few with something specific will feel able to state that, but you are using the most common terms that almost everyone will recognise and so know what you mean. if you're only asking women. The most common word for this is "Title", if people aren't understanding that you're going to have give examples. You could lighten the tone slightly with "Ms? Miss? Mrs? Dr? Rev? Pope? Queen of Persia?" if it's appropriate in your role.

Whatever you say, please don't make it 'Miss or Mrs' and then look at the person in horror and confusion when they say 'Ms'.

This has happened to me more times than I can count. It's surely not unusual?!

@TulipsGarden

Whatever you say, please don't make it 'Miss or Mrs' and then look at the person in horror and confusion when they say 'Ms'.

This has happened to me more times than I can count. It's surely not unusual?!

Oh definitely not, it's over the phone anyway so you don't see my face I have literally no interest in what people pick unless they ask for something we haven't got!

I agree giving several options if they don't understand 'preferred title?' can be a lighthearted and probably one of the best ways to do it if the computer says you have to.

Recently, there was a drop down menu that had a huge list of options, and I was oddly really pleased & relieved to see None. I know it's mainly software requirements, but I'm so much happier when I don't have to give a title. I really don't think the Victorian ideal of everyone having one has done much of benefit. I'd rather just use one when it makes sense for the role.

Do you need a title, to complete all fields in a form, or is what you really need 'how do you prefer we address letters to you'?
It seems to me the latter is what ought to be required in most cases.

@ErrolTheDragon

Do you need a title, to complete all fields in a form, or is what you really need 'how do you prefer we address letters to you'? It seems to me the latter is what ought to be required in most cases.

No letters but the title will appear on emails sent The form basically if you don't put a title will go "enter customer title" and you can't get any further

I used to have customers who got really offended by this, especially men. I just suggested they might be a Lord, or a Reverend or something. I got really pissed off with a workmate who asked women if they were married, rather than what their title was. Clearly we can all get pissed at something.

Slightly off-topic, but I tried to change my name from Mrs to Ms on HSBC online today. It told me I could only do it in branch with appropriate documentation, but my understanding is I can use what title I like, without having to produce documents? My professional body let me change it with no fuss. Does anyone know?

I got really pissed off with a workmate who asked women if they were married, rather than what their title was
I get asked this all the time. I always at work respond with are you trying to set me up with someone? insert confused face At an electrical place i asked why my marital status was relevant when buying a hoover.

I had the same with my bank, wanted to change from Miss to Ms and they wouldn't do it without documentation, my driving licence also says Miss, I might try and change that next time I renew it.

I prefer to be asked "what title do you use" but even that's tricky as you might mishear Ms as Miss or vice versa.

@BigSigh2021

Slightly off-topic, but I tried to change my name from Mrs to Ms on HSBC online today. It told me I could only do it in branch with appropriate documentation, but my understanding is I can use what title I like, without having to produce documents? My professional body let me change it with no fuss. Does anyone know?

Legally, titles like Mr, Mrs, Dr. (with a few exceptions like "Lord") have no legal standing and anyone can use them and interchange them as they please. So you can indeed change your title on a whim if you wish and change it back 10 minutes later. It's entirely up to you. You can also change your name on a whim, if you want. But banks have some regulations to do with preventing money laundering and fraud which states (or they interpret it as meaning) that they need to ensure whoever they open an account for has a presence in the world under that identity, so they seem to demand documentation to show you've made that change in the world in some meaningful way and aren't just changing it on your bank account when it's not who you present as in real life.

Our school has 6 options which make me laugh. Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms, Dr, Wing Commander

I feel like someone has complained in the past