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Feminism: chat

Help me think of a response!

1 reply

Gobolino80 · 24/10/2021 09:48

Was sat around last night with DP and SIL listening to music, they were both drinking and a bit tiddly, I don't drink.
The subject of bands 'cancelling'songs came up after DP explained that a band we both liked had decided to not play a song live anymore as they no longer felt comfortable with some of the lyrics (not Rolling Stones!). I asked DP if another band that he has listened too had stopped playing some of their horrendously misogynistic songs and he didn't really answer the question but said that whilst the lyrics were bad they didn't specifically incite violence or hatred towards women. I asked him how he squared that with the possibility that there are men that would listen to those lyrics and feel fully justified in committing crimes against women as it perpetuates the view that a certain type of women is 'trash'? And that maybe it's time that they didn't play those songs anymore. He then shifted the focus and said that I very occasionally listen to a band that has had a question mark over their head as to whether they have far right tendencies due to their name (literally just the name, nothing in their lyrics suggest this) and that I should 'check myself' on the music I listen to before passing comment on the other band. I left it as he was drunk and I his sister in law was starting to feel uncomfortable. This is 'whataboutery isn't it?! I can't see how the 2 things are related. I need to talk to him about it today as it left me feeling angry

OP posts:

AssassinatedBeauty · 24/10/2021 10:20

Well, it was whataboutery to flip to criticising you for listening to a possibly dubious band, rather than address the issue you were discussing about the lyrics of songs that he listens to.

He brought up the subject of the band who decided to stop playing a song with lyrics they no longer can tolerate. Presumably he was in agreement with that sentiment? So it's a little odd that he got so defensive when you asked about another band.

There are an awful lot of songs from the 60s through to now that have terrible attitudes towards women/girls. I find I can't listen to the worst of them anymore.

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