Gender stereotypes on kids' clothes

[Annalouisa]

I was looking for t-shirts in both the girls and boys section of a a big UK high street brand when I noticed the difference in slogans between the boys and girls (i.e. the words on the t-shirts):

BOYS T-SHIRT SLOGANS:
Be the change
Cool Cool Vibes Cool Cool
Cool dude
Cool to be kind
Dino Dunk
Freestyle
Hear me roar
Make today the coolest day ever
Roarsome
Urban
Yeah!

_okay, so those slogans are innocent, right? No problem at all! But now check out the slogans on the girls' t-shirts:

GIRLS T-SHIRT SLOGANS:
Beautiful
Be happy
Be happy and smile
Daddy’s superstar
Extra fun
Happy
Happy Happy Happy
Hello
Love
Lovely
Love to dance
Rainbow
Smile and pass it on
Sweet
Wonderful

_having seen the difference in slogans, I don't find them innocuous at all. I know it's just one retailer (begins with P), but I have since checked out another big supermarket one, and there's a similar preoccupation with telling girls to be happy happy, smile, smile to be happy etc.
Why aren't the boys told to smile smile smile and be happy happy happy?

Might be reading too much into it, but the girls' slogans sound almost like a chat up line: smile for me, lovely, my sunshine, smile and be happy, love to dance, you're so sweet... not envious, but yucky

[Elephantsparade]

I was thinking about why we might have gender markers on clothes for children and the person who said is the purpose so we can treat them differently. I am sure that is most of it, but I also think a lot of children are proud to be a boy or a girl and want people to know they are a boy who is going to grow up and be a man like daddy. I remember wanting dressess exactly like my mums as I thought she was the cleverest person alive. I certainly wanted people to know I was a girl like my mum.
All the more reason to make sure being a woman doesng come with odd connotations like being happy happy prey.

[AuntDympna]

She pointed at the rack of bright coloured socks and said "Dayid?" Then at the rack of pastel pink and white ones and said "Abi?" David and Abi were her best friends, but she called all little boys "Dayid" and all little girls "Abi". When she saw the hat and the tee-shirt, she said "Dayid's?" Just one word, looking at me like I was an idiot. I wasn't certain she meant boys/ girls but within a few weeks she expanded to "Dose are boys' ones", "Dose are girls' ones".

[ThirdElephant]

@Elephantsparade

I was thinking about why we might have gender markers on clothes for children and the person who said is the purpose so we can treat them differently. I am sure that is most of it, but I also think a lot of children are proud to be a boy or a girl and want people to know they are a boy who is going to grow up and be a man like daddy. I remember wanting dressess exactly like my mums as I thought she was the cleverest person alive. I certainly wanted people to know I was a girl like my mum.
All the more reason to make sure being a woman doesng come with odd connotations like being happy happy prey.

People like boxes and classifying themselves and others into them, especially children and teens. Look at all the nonsensical labels kids give themselves that serve no purpose whatsoever- emo, goth, 'soft girl' etc, and the popularity of sorting quizzes- 'What McDonalds Happy Meal are you most like?' and associated rubbish. They feel like labels give them an identity and they relish 'fitting in' to their self-selected box and excluding whoever doesn't fit.

Small children don't really have much to classify them by yet, so their sex is made out to be a far bigger deal than it by rights ought to be, both by themselves and by others.

[ThirdElephant]

@AuntDympna

She pointed at the rack of bright coloured socks and said "Dayid?" Then at the rack of pastel pink and white ones and said "Abi?" David and Abi were her best friends, but she called all little boys "Dayid" and all little girls "Abi". When she saw the hat and the tee-shirt, she said "Dayid's?" Just one word, looking at me like I was an idiot. I wasn't certain she meant boys/ girls but within a few weeks she expanded to "Dose are boys' ones", "Dose are girls' ones".

So full sentences before one. Very impressive!

[LolaSmiles]

Some of it is to do with making money. The same is evident with toys. If a craft set is branded to be very pink and girly then people might be less likely to use it with a younger boy, if a play kitchen is gendered then families might buy a second one if they have a girl next because everyone knows girls need a purple play kitchen.

I picked up a pram second hand that would have been expensive new, but the person was selling it as they were having a girl and they didn't think that the pram was a girl's pram. It was a black pram that you could easily buy different colour hoods/footmuffs for.

[ThirdElephant]

@LolaSmiles

Some of it is to do with making money. The same is evident with toys. If a craft set is branded to be very pink and girly then people might be less likely to use it with a younger boy, if a play kitchen is gendered then families might buy a second one if they have a girl next because everyone knows girls need a purple play kitchen.

I picked up a pram second hand that would have been expensive new, but the person was selling it as they were having a girl and they didn't think that the pram was a girl's pram. It was a black pram that you could easily buy different colour hoods/footmuffs for.

Oh, definitely.

[ImustLearn2Cook]

Back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s early childhood education was very much focused on inclusivity and not reinforcing gender stereotypes. All the toys and activities are for all the children.

Sometimes children would reflect some gender stereotypes. Sometimes children reflected the opposite of gender stereotypes. I saw boys enjoying dress ups and some dads pulling me aside and asking me to prevent their son from playing with the dress ups. After explaining that all the activities are for all the children and that I can’t exclude any child, but would you feel better about it if there were men’s clothes? The dad said yes. So, I sent out a letter to the parents requesting donations of men’s clothes for the dress ups. Lots of dad’s were enthusiastic and we got shirts, ties and men’s shoes.

Did the boys start dressing in men’s clothes when playing dress ups? No, they did not. The children did use the ties for tails when they pretended that they were various animals.

I’ve seen boys playing with dolls and role playing being a dad.

I remember on a little walk around the gardens a little boy who had just turned 3 asked me if boys were allowed to like pink. He looked very anxious as he asked me. I said yes, all the colours are made for everyone to enjoy, even for all the animals. (Yes, I know some animals are colour blind). He relaxed and looked visibly relieved. He then asked me who made the colours.

I don’t think it’s ok that little children are caused stress and anxiety over these expectations that they should conform to gender stereotypes. They are so young, let them discover what they like and don’t like freely and for themselves.

My 7 year old suggested that all the different styles of clothes just be together and kids can choose what they like. Great idea.

I’ve always let her choose what she likes from either girls or boys section. When she was three she loved Thomas the tank engine and her favourite colour was red. We couldn’t find any red clothes in the girls section at the time (and we went to a few different stores). She did find a red pyjama set with Thomas the tank engine on the front in the boys section. She was so excited to find that, so we bought it.

I think gender stereotypes are harmful. Think of the anxiety experienced by children who know that they don’t fit the stereotype. None of these children should ever feel that something is wrong with them because they like something that is associated with the opposite sex.

[AuntDympna]

@ThirdElephant
"So full sentences before one. Very impressive!"
Not those sentences, but that there was a continuum from pointing at garments and saying "Dayid's" through "Dayid's hat" and "Dat Dayid's hat" at 12mos to "Dat boys' hat" and "Dose are boys' ones" at 14 months. She did talk early and it was an amazing window into the mind of a little child. I don't want to be accused of making this up, and I was sure she meant boys in general. She did distinguish between little boys/girls "Dayid"/ "Abi", and big boys/girls "Xander"/"Yeyah", and men "Daddy"/"Mummy".

[00100001]

@AuntDympna

Very boring but I suspect the genderization of being a sales tactic: if the clothes were neutral it would be easier to hand them down.
I used to buy clothes from the boy section for my DD and she questioned me from the age of 10 months, asking if they were boys' clothes. A red tee shirt with blue word "Mischief", brown and green socks with zoo monkeys on them, and a brown hat with animal face. At 10 months old, she must have observed what little boys and little girls wear.

Unless your child is some sort of genius, there's is no way they questioned boys Vs girls.

[AuntDympna]

Why not?

[LobsterNapkin]

@00100001

There's nothing wrong with pink shirts in of themselves, no.

But when we're told pink is for girls and blue is for boys, and that shirt is pink because it's a girls shirt....that's where the problem lies.

Why does a 4yo girl need to have a t-shirt that says "pretty" a d a 4yo boy have a shirt that says "trouble maker"??

They don't.

It's very easy to produce children that understand that clothing styles differentiated by sex are just social custom. Millions of children raised with that and other social customs that are not inherently problematic grow up to realize that these are just customary differences.

Dodgy slogans are perhaps on the side of something to avoid, for boys and girls. Sexualized styles, for boys and girls and adults too for that matter.

One of the things that surprised me at one time is that many of the same parents who insist on completely gender neutral clothing for children also tend to buy into gender ideology and believe that when kids finally show some interest in gendered clothing, it's significant in some important way. It's like too much significance is put on what is fundamentally a simple social signal about our sexed bodies, as if it has some deeper meaning.

[AuntDympna]

Interesting observation. But this thread is about how the gendered clothes do have harmful slogans. My baby wanted girls' clothes bc she knew she was a girl. If there had been a coral tee-shirt with the word "Mischief" in sky-blue, we would both have chosen that over the crimson/navy combo. She told me that dinosaurs and maths were for boys - at 4 years old. That's harm.

[MrsAvocet]

@LolaSmiles

MrsAvocet
Be the change is a good slogan and can be positive, but if it only appears on clothing aimed at boys then it's further pushing the idea that boys are leaders, boys have agency, boys can achieve great things... meanwhile girls need to be passive, smile, be happy, be kind, give cuddles.

Good point.
I hadn't really thought of it that way. I was thinking it was getting at individuals changing their own behaviour to generate change and I thought it was good that boys were being asked to take responsibility for their own behaviour - something which in my observation they often aren't.
I can see your point though.

[Enough4me]

I wanted to go down the route of avoiding pink for DD and blue for DS, painted rooms sand colour, clothes were fairly neutral. DD at 3yr begged for a pink room with pink fluffy stuff, DS was obsessed with camo and dinosaurs.

Roll on a decade or so and DD and DS have moved on and like a mix of different clothes.

Let kids be kids, they need to work out what they like and may go through multiple phases.