Men whistling: Rant!

[SophieKaczynsky]

I know this subject has been mentioned many a time on MN but I am fucked off with men whistling or humming loudly in public places and basically dominating the place with their tuneless shit.

I've just been into a small charity shop and a man was walking round it whistling so loudly, and it was the kind of shrill whistle that hurts your ears! He also, in typical dominant male style, kept leaning across me to look at things rather than looking at another rack until I'd finished, which meant he was whistling in my ear!

So, I started whistling too. Very loudly and even more shrill and tuneless than his whistle! He glared at me in shock, and the whole shop turned to look, but he stopped fucking whistling!

I'm going to do it more often!

Oh, and I will say, he's very tuneful. If he'd put some effort in I think he could be quite good at music - his pitch and improvisation skills are excellent. But still. Sometimes, I need silence.

@DontBuyANewMumCashmere

Dear gods! Is it just whistling in public? I'm always whistling, singing and humming (tunelessly) at home, plus have awful earworm habit of singing the same line or phrase repeatedly.

To think some people would like to set me on fire because of it!
(I'm sure it was 'just a joke' but still a slight overreaction imo!)

I often feel I'm on another planet when I read threads on here. I'm 62 and in my 62 years on my planet this terrible thing has never been an issue.

DS whistles. And sings. He’s autistic and it’s one of his stims. He at least has the autist’s perfect pitch, so it’s always beautifully in tune. Any ideas on how to stop him before he’s old enough immolated for his “dickhead” behaviour?

Yeah, I get that’s it’s a fairly niche complaint. But I’m finding more and more as DS gets older, that behaviour that he really can’t help - as a result of a condition he didn’t ask to be born with - is going to be viewed as “entitled” or whatever, and it makes me sad. 10 years of being his mum has given me a thick skin when it comes to people making assumptions about my parenting, but I can’t protect him from the assumptions people are going to make about him.

I love you OP. Perfect response

@MotherofPearl

Whistling is really a way of taking up space - the audio equivalent of manspreading. It's a kind of territory marking too. Well done for challenging him OP!

This. It's invading other people's thoughts.

[quote CBUK2K]@Mrsfrumble I don't think many outside this echo chamber hear a cheerful whistle and see it as entitled. You can turn anything in to gender nonsense if you try hard enough, luckily most of the world are a bit more realistic.[/quote]
I agree. It's really going out of your way to find something to complain about.

[quote CBUK2K]@Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Do you feel the same way about women wearing perfume? Jewellery that jangles? Shoes/heels that make a noise on some floors?[/quote]
Hen parties? Particularly on public transport where you can't get away?

Tbc I'm not actually complaining about noisy hen parties on public transport- just pointing out other behaviour which intrudes on other people's spaces.

For me it is an intrusive sound, and excluding children or people who are not NT, I think it's up to everyone to try to be considerate of the space of others - physical space and auditory. Another one is headphones on so loud the sound leaks out and disturbs others, though I think that is less gendered than whistling.

And I do find loud hen parties annoying too.

@Mrsfrumble

DS whistles. And sings. He’s autistic and it’s one of his stims. He at least has the autist’s perfect pitch, so it’s always beautifully in tune. Any ideas on how to stop him before he’s old enough immolated for his “dickhead” behaviour?

My DD too.

However it is also not fair for those around you to sing or whistle like this (not least other autistic people, who can find the extra noise very distressing). In some cases that just has to be how it is - but for many autistic children, including my DD, there is a balance between letting them meet their needs and letting the rest of the world meet their needs too.

My DD knows that she's free to sing, hum or whistle in her room or when it's just us, but if her siblings are around and have asked her not to, or we're on public transport, she has alternatives, like some sensory fidget type things, or sometimes movement helps. If she really needs to then it's up to her to leave the room (or us to leave the bus). She gets choices around it, but she doesn't get to make the choice for us all to listen. It makes sense to her on the basis that she hates it when other people play music on their phones when we're on the bus. Of course, this won't work for every child or situation, but it's been mostly ok for us.

I think there is a world of difference between a child - especially a non-NT child - whistling, and a grown man.

@MotherofPearl

I think there is a world of difference between a child - especially a non-NT child - whistling, and a grown man.

That’s sort of my point; that DS won’t always be small and appealing as he is now. And right now I can shush him (or remove him if he really can’t stop himself) because he’s usually with me, but if he hasn’t learned better by the time he’s older and out in the world by himself (I’m trying to teach him consideration, but when he’s stimming he’s not really conscious of what he’s doing) he’ll be just another “entitled chauvinist dickhead” in the eyes of some.

My absolutely lovely male colleague, who works in the room next to me in a two block unit, likes to put his headphones on and sing when we both have a free period. His music of choice is dramatic religious choral pieces. He is very out of tune.

I haven't got the heart to say anything, but the first time it happened, I thought the building was haunted by a banshee.

@SweatyTits

I love you, OP.

My mate (who has zero tolerance for men taking up space, and zero care about getting judged in public) does this but rather than competitive whistling, she starts singing at the top of her lungs while looking straight into the offending man's eyes. She is a brilliant singer and it definitely shuts them up.

Very very strange and embarrassing for the person shopping with her though

Just strange to be honest.

I guess the whistler is the human male equivalent of a cock robin sonically marking their territory.
On a separate but related note I am feeling rather bad about involuntary sneezing loudly in my back garden this afternoon and scaring the sh2t out of our Cute tiny territorial cockrobin who was singing lovely tunes on my fence. My suggestion therefore would be to sneeze in response judging by the dramatic reaction I got

Love you OP! It’s just the audible version of manspreading isn’t it.