BBC News Headlines today: Sarah Everard, Sabina Nessa, Terri Harris and her children
cinnamonroll1 · 30/09/2021 14:35
2 stranger murders (and a stranger rape) and a murder by a former partner. I just think this illustrates that as a society we really haven't made any genuine progress towards equality. There are so many men out there who just hate women, who think that we exist for their pleasure or to be dominated. It makes me scared as hell for my daughter growing up and makes me want to cry and scream and be sick, quite frankly.
Does anyone have anything positive to say about this or it is as bleak as I feel right now?
HumphreyCobblers · 30/09/2021 14:40
I have been listening to Laura Richards podcasts a lot lately, she has great stuff to say about what we, as a society, can do about male violence against women and girls. Her deep dive into the case of the Yorkshire R*** has really changed my view of the world, there ARE ways we can start to act in these cases. They knowledge is there but we need to force police and the law to act , her bill about coercive control was a very positive move.
Hungry675tf · 30/09/2021 14:45
I looked on the BBC front page yesterday. It was notable that of about 30 different articles, only 3 were focused on women. All the others were about men, what some men had achieved. The three women were all victims of crime it was the only reason they featured.
Misogyny is so endemic that we hardly see it anymore. Click on bbc.co.uk and have a look for yourself. All mens
Hungry675tf · 30/09/2021 14:47
FlowerArranger · 30/09/2021 14:55
Just to add, some of the posts in Relationships on MN make bleak reading. What men 'expect' in terms of sex, male entitlement, coercive control, outright abuse.... And what sime women put up with and accept. Maybe it was always like this and we just didn't know, but some of this stuff makes me glad to be quite old.
I think that, as mothers, we really need to focus very specifically on raising daughters who are strong and don't accept shit. As well as sons who are kind and truly accept the importance of equality.
Evenstar · 30/09/2021 15:29
Does anyone else keep thinking of the Lancet’s demeaning description of women as bodies with vaginas? I feel that is how some of these dreadful men view women and how can they feel other than justified when we are referred to in those terms by members of the medical profession who should care for our health and well-being.
I feel really down about our place and value in society in a way I haven’t in all my 57 years to date.
dreamingbohemian · 30/09/2021 15:59
I don't think rapists and murderers are reading the Lancet. And this sickening violence is happening to women all over the world, and has been throughout history. I think we need to take a broader view.
My feeling is that progress in terms of making men less violent is going to be very slow, and so the most important thing we can do right now is push for real consequences for male violence. More arrests, more charges, longer jail terms.
Think of the enormous resources that were marshalled to fight terrorism. We need the same kind of massive effort for women and children.
WarriorN · 30/09/2021 18:34
Yes, currently supporting a friend through the damaging impact of an ex h who was convicted of possessing images of CSA.
It's later transpired how abusive he was.
number87inthequeue · 30/09/2021 21:08
I am feeling very angry about this right now, and wondering what I can actually DO to channel that anger in to something that makes a difference. On top of reading this sickening news, my teenage DD told me that she had been shouted at by a group of young men in a car whilst she was on her way from work (in broad daylight on a busy road). She was wearing full waterproofs so clearly didn't meet their expectations of how a young woman should look- so they shouted 'lesbian'. I assume that if she had been differently dressed it might have been something about her body, or 'slag' etc. Obviously this is very small in comparison to the awful crimes against those other women and children. But isn't this an indication of how too many men see us, and the behaviour that they think is acceptable.
For many years now I as a middle aged -and therefore largely invisible- woman have been calling men out on this crap when I see them do it to other women. But I feel powerless to make much more of a difference.
My rescue dog barks and snarls at most men (he likes DH and one of our friends). He wears a muzzle when we are in public as I am not sure he wouldn't bite one who came too near. I am working with a behaviourist to train him not to do this, and to trust men. I'm starting to think the dog has it right
FlowerArranger · 30/09/2021 23:49
Misogyny is as bad as it’s ever been and I feel despairing
I think in some ways it's actually worse. The cat calls I used to get way back when seemed much more good natured, whereas today's harassments have a nasty and hostile undertone. Yesterday's men saw women as not quite equal but they didn't hate women the way that some do nowadays.
TooBigForMyBoots · 01/10/2021 00:04
TBF, I don't think the problem is that most men hate us, although some of them clearly do. I think the problem is that most men don't see women as being as important as they are.
So a female victim of male violence is less important than how the men around them feel about it.
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