Feminism: chat
Should I say something?
AlexaShutUp · 10/09/2021 20:52
A male team member wrote up some minutes of a meeting. He is a very nice guy, but I have very occasionally felt ever so slightly patronised by him. (I'm in a more senior role.) I have wondered if I am being over sensitive to this. I might be.
I was at the meeting in question. Most of the participants were male and one of the women was relatively quiet. The other woman was very vocal and her contributions were useful and relevant. The minutes don't reflect this at all. Her contributions were either omitted completely or else attributed to one of the male participants.
I have amended the minutes to reflect her contributions accurately but would you raise this with the person who wrote the notes? I'm sure that he wouldn't intentionally edit her out but something feels very off about it to be. 
What do others think?
Ionlydomassiveones · 10/09/2021 20:58
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This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.
DukeOfEarlGrey · 10/09/2021 21:00
Definitely flag - you can do it in a non-confrontational way if you want, but this screams of everyday sexism in action and should be nipped in the bud. Even if he doesn't realise he has done it, unconscious bias is still bias.
NB I have just resigned from a job because of bullying that had all the hallmarks of misogyny. I only had one senior female colleague and she was the ringleader! I would have been so grateful to have an astute and responsible colleague like you around to have my back as you are doing for this other women. Bloody well done OP.
AlexaShutUp · 10/09/2021 21:06
I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened to you @DukeOfEarlGrey. That sounds shit.
You're so right about unconscious bias. I rather suspect that, even if I send him the amended minutes, he still won't get it. I reckon I'm going to have to spell it out. Even then, though, I think he'll think I'm reading things into it that aren't there.
DukeOfEarlGrey · 10/09/2021 21:56
Thank you OP. And yep, really shit - I am better off out!
Whatever you choose to do here the good thing is that you have spotted the issue and at a minimum are giving this woman the deserved credit for her contribution. It's the kind of thing that gets dismissed as trivial but the cumulative effect is massive. You are one of the good ones!
MotherWol · 16/09/2021 12:51
“Dear (name),
I received the minutes of the meeting on (date) and noted that the comments made by Jane Smith have been mistakenly attributed to Dave, Bob and John. I have amended the minutes (see attached) and would be grateful if you can update the record for accuracy.
Regards,
(Your Name)”
Sexnotgender · 16/09/2021 12:54
You definitely need to address this.
I used to have a male manager who would constantly steal ideas in team meetings from women and present them as his own shortly after. Was beyond infuriating. We quickly learned to share absolutely nothing of value with him.
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