Being 'Mum'

[GettingUntrapped]

Being 'mum' so much of the time is killing me. My children are 10 and 14 and I'm a single parent. When they are in the same space as me or at home, I'm 'mum' and I find the role so stifling. Like I can't be who I really am, but of course this is all in my head.
I'm so bored with it and the limitations and cultural assumptions and prescriptions of motherhood. I've felt like this for years. I love my children, but want to spread my own wings now. I don't think nature intended this prolonged nesting.
I've just started a new small business that is going really well, and I'm starting to do things that are just for me a bit more, and also going out. I read a bit of philosophy and feminist stuff.
Has anyone else navigated this road successfully, getting your whole self back after having children?
I'm no spring chicken either.

Didn’t you have a career while the DC were young, OP?
It would have driven me mad to be stuck at home playing mummy 24/7, but I had a career as a hospital doctor at the same time. I looked forward to evenings and weekends with the kids, after a full day as a professional. They were always great company.
I was widowed when they were babies, so was a single parent for virtually their entire childhood. I loved them dearly, and enjoyed spending time with them - I still do, and they’re in their 30s now!

What is it that is stifled when the kids are around? Is there any reason why you couldn't start to express things you're suppressing around them?

Can they be left alone? As in do they fight/ not sensible?

If the they are ok take yourself off for an evening class, drink with friends etc.

Are you WFH?

That adds the stress.

I know how you feel btw.

Going back to work FT was brilliant for me.

If they get on then they're old enough to say I'm going to go and do xyz for an hour or 2 and take yourself off to bedroom shut the door.

Not the same but a bit better.

Mine start playing happily if I'm not there to compete over for attention.