Everyday sexism

[Arobase]

I'm my mother's next of kin since my father died, and also her attorney since she lost capacity to deal with her affairs, and executor under her will. When she went into a care home, that was what was noted on her records. I've dealt with her finances, decisions about DNR etc. She died recently, those details would have been passed on by the care home, So who does the Registrar phone about registering the death? My brother, of course.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

How did the Registrar even know he existed?

[Terhou]

@WhereYouLeftIt

How did the Registrar even know he existed?

Presumably the home passed on the contact details they had for all family members.

[Nachthex]

The registrar actually phoned about the death? Seems odd, and that's never been my experience. We've always had to find out where to go, what times they are open, phone to make an appointment etc. Be pro-active in it, in other words.

[StrictlyAFemaleFemale]

Ugh.

[sailmeaway]

Are you sure your brother's number wasn't just first on the list for some reason? The registrar didn;t go and Google him, he or someone else must have left his number.

[TooBigForMyBoots]

That's shit @Arobase. Love and strength to you.x

[Arobase]

@Nachthex, they're phoning because they're not allowing people to come to register in person.

@sailmeaway, as I said, the home will have given them the details. They've always had me as next of kin and first contact.,

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

Yes, everyday sexism in its most insidious form, because it's not even intentional. Just something taken for granted without even thinking about it: a man is automatically the senior person, the 'in charge' person, not the support person.

Condolences on your Mum's death, Arobase.