Feminism: chat
Almost half of women stop having sex during the menopause
Theeyeballsinthesky · 24/07/2021 11:06
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/menopause-divorce-reduced-sex-drive-b1889562.html?fbclid=IwAR0vXbcU5hXkhEtkA60mHkh4F8mGdrDBcbkWx2xqyHPZoHNSB6ze6dOTEn4
Im so glad this is being talked about more. I thought the menopause was hot flushes/insomnia/grumpiness & getting a bit “dry”. I had no idea that sex would become impossible due to the pain of vaginal atrophy from loss of oestrogen. I have localised oestrogen & HRT but while it helps, penetrative sex is still a no no
If half of men experienced this, you’d have over the counter treatments everywhere! Instead women have to battle so much ignorance from GPs still.
Gothichouse40 · 24/07/2021 11:11
Totally agree. My GP sadly on this occasion was useless. I had never heard of V A until I had it. I was not diagnosed with it until I ended up in hospital for another reason. I got told to use KY, that was the total of advice received from GP. I was in agony and did not understand why. If this was a male problem, they'd be falling over themselves for a cure.
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 24/07/2021 14:00
This was the trigger point for me starting HRT tbh.
I’d avoided hormones for years as my mum had - and died from - Breast cancer from taking HRT many years ago.
But then I got to the point where sex was painful, my cervix has dropped right down and everything felt really tight - which paradoxically made it much better for DP! - and even my clitoris has shrunk and become soft and less sensitive.
After watching the Davina documentary and seeing the figures for increased BC risk I decided it was worth the extra risk for all the potential benefits HRT could bring.
I had been sporadically using oestrogen cream I bought online but no real difference there.
Since starting on HRT combi patches 3 weeks ago I can already feel an improvement. Sex drive and responsiveness has improved a lot. Haven’t really tried PIV yet but at least the constant itching and dryness is resolved. Feel much more like myself already.
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 24/07/2021 14:06
Great article and good point re testosterone - I asked if this could be added into my treatment and was told that we’d wait and see what happened with the oestrogen and progesterone first. Testosterone is a female hormone and we should be allowed it back!
Have you seen the comments under that article though?! Some young guy saying how he prefers sex with older women - totally missing the point that they’re not having sex because it hurts - he seems to think that the husbands don’t want it because their wife is old now or something. And the twat who suggest open relationships as a cure - man can have all the sex he wants, woman doesn’t have to bother. Win win! Yes just what every menopausal woman wants, her husband balls deep in a younger woman. Genius 
Roseness · 24/07/2021 19:27
@Georgie8
I’ve Chemo induced menopause and was recommended Yes organic. Their vaginal moisturiser (YES VM) and water based lubricant are on the UK drugs tariff and are available (at the discretion of your CCG /GP practice) with an NHS prescription.
Ah I came here to recommend this as well! But have you noticed how much more readily available their other products-designed for women not yet in menopause are?
tootiredtobother · 24/07/2021 19:34
stop sex during the menopause !! more like before and still after, im now 59 have had stage 1 breast cancer so no HRT have asked twice, also asked for testosterone, nope, not allowed to have it in UK , think you might be able to get hold of it on private perscription,, which is my next plan of attack.
utterly fed up
Georgie8 · 24/07/2021 21:48
@Roseness
I’ve always bought online, so no, I haven’t particularly noticed.
However, I think they started out trying to produce organic lubricants and (probably as they got a bit older 😉) moved on to the moisturiser.
@tootiredtobother
It’s really worth trying if you’re worried about using hormones. Use the moisturiser regularly, the longer you use it the less often you need to, and it makes such a difference.
ErrolTheDragon · 24/07/2021 22:33
A woman gp told me I might need a cream or something before it was ever a problem for me, so as soon as it started to be an issue KY wouldn't solve, I asked. It was a male gp I saw but no problem at all prescribing vagifem which fortunately for me seems to be all I need.... the Carling Black Label of medicaments.
I hadn't realised that I've been way more fortunate than most.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.