I know this has been done to death probably but I am feeling it so much in my marriage at the moment. By which I mean, I feel as though I am still often fighting for equality within my marriage, in order to allow me to pursue my career on equal terms with my DH. I know this is central to feminism of course over many decades but I wonder, is anyone else feeling the same?
Just a couple of recent examples: I have attended school sports day for the past ten years (my DH has never been). This time I asked him to go and he said yes, but has just told me that he has booked a meeting. I told him to unbook it and grumpiness (his - then mine!) ensued. He is now going but with that sort of slight show of sacrifice that ends up making me feel guilty - it's subtle but is probably one reason why in the past I haven't pushed it.
Last week a member of his family (young-ish - we're not talking older generation here) addressed a letter to Mr and Mrs Husbandfirstname Husbandsurname. I have not changed my name on marriage as that family member well knows. I said to my DH that I found being addressed in those terms totally offensive and he said I should just let it go as it didn't matter. I think it does matter to be addressed as though I am his possession and to have my identity totally erased and I would imagine he would too, should he be addressed in similar terms. Which clearly, wouldn't happen.
There's more, these are just examples. I hate having to fight with him over things like this but WHY can't he see why this would matter to me?! To me, it shouts out male privilege. And in so many other ways he is 'good,' helpful etc - so then I question whether I'm over-reacting.
This is just a rant really ... it's just so rubbish to feel as though I fighting this fight at home with a DH who I do love!