The victim blaming here has just sent me over the edge.

[Ostryga]

A report in my local paper of the sexual abuse in schools and they interviewed this horrendous man that says it’s the victims favour for going to parties and he’s sure she feels awful.

I have emailed the school, but my fucking god. When will it end??

Headteacher Tim Gibbs if anyone else would like to make an official complaint.

www.edp24.co.uk/news/education/everyones-invited-list-of-norfolk-schools-8072668

[Ostryga]

*fault not favour - sorry, furious typing.

[C4tintherug]

I wonder if it’s clumsily worded… ie they should have been safe at these parties but it turned out they were vulnerable at these “parties”

[Ostryga]

He literally says “she put herself in such a vulnerable position”

Sorry. Vulnerable women are never to blame for their sexual abuse or rape or assault. Never.

[PurpleHoodie]

That is grim. He's a nasty piece of work, victim blaming like that.

Nasty.

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

Boys shouldn't go to parties if they can't stop themselves raping.

Fixed it for him.

[jakeyboy1]

Awful. And that list of schools is even more shocking. Is this campaign getting much attention/ making noise in schools?

[IdblowJonSnow]

Classic victim blaming. Twat. I'm sure if someone made comments like this about other races it would be classed as a crime.

But clearly anyone can say what they like about women.

[Undersnatch]

That is awful, poor woman. You could also consider writing to the local paper Op, to criticise their choosing to include these kind of victim blaming comments and playing their part in perpetuating stereotypes.

[PurpleHoodie]

How about they teach the boys/young men in their schools and colleges to not rape.

We're constantly considering the relationship and sex education we teach and when we do it, and what is age-appropriate

[Quaggars]

"It's horrible that she put herself in a vulnerable position time and time again"

Ugh
Maybe, just maybe, talk to the boys/young men about it and punish accordingly, and and not blame it on the girls/young women?!

[StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind]

That is disgraceful. If we were to complain, who do we complain to, OFSTED?

[Ostryga]

[email protected]

This is their email. I have checked their complaints policy and it says to directly email him, however he doesn’t have an email listed anywhere I can find.

I have emailed the paper. And will also email OFSTED. This attitude cannot ol continue.

[StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind]

They have contact form on the school website, I'll try that! Disgusted though.

[Ostryga]

Right, have emailed school, EDP, and the chair of governors.

I am so angry. Feel better for doing something though!

[ReginaRegina]

Hmm, nobody should be raped obv but you're probs a bit stupid if you don't maintain enough sobriety to be able to remain vigilant around strangers.

It's like how I should be able to leave my life savings in a bag on my doorstep. I'm not going to because I know what will likely happen.

[aloris]

I think it's problematic to say that a girl has "put herself in such a vulnerable position" simply by going to parties. It reeks a bit of "girls and women shouldn't leave the house unless they are accompanied by a male relative who can protect them."

The problem is that if you blame sexual assault on the behavior of the girl or woman, then there is really not a logical endpoint to that, because there is literally no behavior that will provide a woman or girl complete protection from being sexually assaulted. Even if a girl or woman remains locked in her own home 24/7/365, only venturing out when accompanied by a male relative, she could still be raped or assaulted by a male relative in her own home.

I think the fact that there is no logical endpoint, and no way for a woman/girl to 100% protect herself, illustrates that this sort of tactic is not really about making women safer. It's about ensuring that the discourse does not allow holding men responsible for their own actions. It's essentially a way of derailing the conversation by putting women on the defensive.

[SheilaFentiman]

This thread is from 2021

[BishyBarnyBee]

@SheilaFentiman

This thread is from 2021

And there was absolute outrage at the time :

Headteacher issues heartfelt apology over allegations of 'victim shaming' | Eastern Daily Press (edp24.co.uk)

[turbonerd]

Regina, that is not even remotely the same.

[ReginaRegina]

@turbonerd

Regina, that is not even remotely the same.

I just feel like it's not the best idea to leave your safety in the hands of men. Repeating that 'they're not supposed to do this' won't help you once they've decided they are going to.

[agent765]

I just wonder how much fun at parties the boys will have if no girls turn up.

Or would that be a problem, too?

The boys aren't stupid. They know that rape and sexual assault are wrong even if the idea of consent has been muddied.

There is no excuse - unless you're the kind of arsehole in charge that keeps victim blaming therefore giving the boys free rein to continue this sort of behaviour.

Hope he's proud of himself.