Girls missing lessons due to boys behaviour

[Babymamamama]

Wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think of this. A secondary school which is known to have issues with boys behaviour towards girls (which school doesn’t?). So the decision is to have girl specific sessions (I assume to learn how to deal with this) which take place during timetabled day - meaning girls taken out of normal lessons. Weekly. Result is that girls miss out on learning in order to speak about “girl” issues while the males continue to benefit from all mainstream learning and don’t have to miss any timetabled lessons. Am I being over sensitive or shouldn’t the boys also have some equivalent gender based lessons on appropriate behaviour towards female fellow students? And miss out on their lessons too? I’m despairing a bit.

Might canvas views of couple other parents in real life too.

Great idea. I'd want to know if girls.are being taken out of pe as well. Pe is considered core in primary in that children have to have a certain amount of active time per week. I'm not sure about secondary.

But if they are being taken out it might be worth mentioning that girls active time tailing off in their teens is a current big problem in schools, with plenty of funding being thrown at it. Girls taking part is active lessons in school has been shown to have a direct impact on their lifestyle and health in later life.

Honestly if this were my school hell would have no fury.

As a teacher, I am sure there are members of staff who think this is wrong but who have been overruled by senior leadership because of their lower status.
Most schools have a member of staff who is the pta representative. Maybe start there.

If it's the boys who are the problem then surely they are the ones who need the extra sessions.

A secondary school which is known to have issues with boys behaviour towards girls (which school doesn’t?)

I believe there is a Muslim school where boys have to stand facing the wall when girls walk down the corridor, the first time I heard this I was a bit wtf but actually it's not a bad idea if boys cannot control themselves.

@sashh

If it's the boys who are the problem then surely they are the ones who need the extra sessions.

A secondary school which is known to have issues with boys behaviour towards girls (which school doesn’t?)

I believe there is a Muslim school where boys have to stand facing the wall when girls walk down the corridor, the first time I heard this I was a bit wtf but actually it's not a bad idea if boys cannot control themselves.

There's a happy medium between that and sending dick pics though

Jeezo

I'm with Grellbunt, I would be absolutely incandescent at this.

Firstly because the girls are missing out, being disadvantaged academically and effectively punished for the boys' bad behaviour.

Second, because it smacks of victim-blaming - what possible message can the girls, and for that matter the boys, take from this if not that it's the girls' "fault" this happens and that they are the ones who need to adjust their behaviour? And it's also teaching the girls to blame themselves for any abuse they suffer in future.

Third, it does absolutely nothing to stop the boys' bad behaviour - they get business as usual, are not required to change and if anything will just learn to blame the victim.

Fourth, it does nothing whatsoever to address the wider problem. I doubt very much that whatever the girls are being taught will actually give them any real protection against predatory behaviour, but even if it did, what about all the other girls and women these boys will interact with in the rest of their lives? While the boys have just been left to do as they wish, or worse, taken on the message that the girls are to blame and potentially that girls/women who don't behave or respond to them in certain ways that they've been taught are even more deserving of abuse (that they are "sluts" or "asking for it" if they don't do/wear/say the right things).

The only thing that may be worth checking is whether they planned some separate sessions for the boys after the ones for girls (but then why not do them at the same time?); but then I'd still like to know what was being said to each group. Other than that though I'd be going ballistic!

Like other posters I'm enraged what an archaic approach. I would contact Safe Schools Alliance and Our Duty to get some advice. Despicable, sexist and down right taking the piss.

Teaching a girl on how to deal with male bullying (sexual or otherwise) is infuriating.

Why don’t they take the boys out and teach them not to do what they are doing instead?

So the decision is to have girl specific sessions (I assume to learn how to deal with this) which take place during timetabled day - meaning girls taken out of normal lessons. Weekly. Result is that girls miss out on learning in order to speak about “girl” issues while the males continue to benefit from all mainstream learning and don’t have to miss any timetabled lessons.

Totally the wrong way around @Babymamamama The boys should be taken out of their favourite lessons and taught how not to be sexist dicks. They need to be pulled up on their behaviour and their attitudes to girls and women.

Boys' behaviour is not the responsibility of the girls to manage.

I agree with every point made and appreciate everyone’s shared rage. Thankyou all. It makes me feel I’m not barking up the wrong tree. I will start by enquiring what equivalent is being provided for males (as I don’t think there is anything but it can open the debate).

@Grellbunt

I need to step away from Mumsnet I think. I am ABSOLUTELY RAGING on your behalf!!!

This

Be prepared for a lot of deflection op. Don't accept anything less than clarity. Might be a good idea to get the parents of some of the boys onside so you can compare notes.

Wtf? You are not being oversensitive.

What a dreadful school.

Need more details, it seems unlikely that the school would be cutting back on lesson time right now.

Bring your kids up to respect others and treat people with dignity, this is parenting it can't all be left to schools.

This is bloody awful!!! Girls being taught how to deal with shitty behaviour and the boys not being taught how to treat girls with respect and not be arseholes??

Wtaf….

Report this fuckers to Oxfam

LoL sorry I mean OFSTED, an ad just popped up and distracted me.

No, you are not being over sensitive at all. There are so many things wrong with this.. you absolutely should make a big deal about this to the school. Sexist bullying is hardly ever acknowledged and it gets increasingly severe in secondary schools.

The only thing that can be accomplished through this arrangement is conditioning girls to tolerate horrible treatment. No way.

What Grellbunt and so many others have said: "failing to adequately address the behaviour with the male perpetrators rather than the female victims"

Babymamamama you might find this DfE guidance helpful, it's non-statutory but sets out when and why children can be separated by sex in schools www.gov.uk/government/publications/gender-separation-in-mixed-schools

Thankyou all again for your thoughts and support with this I feel more empowered with all your ideas. @Stampyfeet I love that guidance just wish it was more than “guidance” but I will bring it out if need be.

Years ago, I had a running argument with DS's school that the victim of bullying shouldn't be removed from the classroom. It others them. There's no sound argument for it. It doesn't look like anything has changed.
They are rewarding the children that bully others.

Completely wrong. Not really fair on the boys either because they really need to know the consequences which can arise from what they might see as just laddish behaviour. I hope some sessions are being organised for them too and also perhaps some joint sessions. The boys need to be taught about dangers of porn too.

Definitely worth protesting.

I’m not opposed to schools using time to address this issue. Teaching girls resilience in the face of sexism is an important life skill. Without parallel sessions for the boys it is both pointless and discriminatory.

@sashh "boys have to stand facing the wall when girls walk down the corridor, the first time I heard this I was a bit wtf but actually it's not a bad idea if boys cannot control themselves."

It's definitely a bad idea, it perpetuates the utterly false notion that boys aren't responsible for their own behaviour. They can control themselves, of course they can, especially when given the right tools to do so. The emphasis should be on education for those doing the harassment in OP's case, and extra support for the girls alongside it.

The facing the wall thing is ludicrous. As are ankle length skirts etc etc. There's a happy medium and most people (still) instinctively know what it is. But it's fragile, so we need to take great care in our society.

Good luck OP.