Sweetheart

[Fangsalot89]

So, generally I hate being called sweetheart, babe, darling or any of those sort of thing especially by a bloke and will often make a lighthearted comment about how it’s not ok to address me as such (I sound like the fucking Queen.)
Anyway, I’ve got a crush on my next door neighbour and he said “alright sweetheart” to me the other day and I felt pleased, smiled and went all coy.
Ridiculous. I’m a married woman of nearly 36!
Anyone else find their morals go out the window when in this sort of situation? 🤣

I use sweetheart, sweetie, sweet pea and love for both sexes. I'm from Lancs, so can't even scrape a pass under the pp's Yorkshire rule But everyone knows Lancs is like Yorkshire only better 😈

As for crushes, my marriage wouldn't have lasted 5mins, if I had to divorce for every crush. Both sexes too, is that even more divorce worthy?

I have a crush on Tom Hiddleston and on Claudia Black. Should I get a divorce right now this minute? It's the weekend and solicitors will be shut. Can it wait until Monday.

Why are you waiting until Monday when you can apply online right now? Absolutely disgraceful. Your DH deserves better

My DP is from Northern Ireland and him calling me sweetheart with his accent still makes me all smiley and giggly 6 years in. Anyone else would have got an eye roll.

To clarify as the OP of the post, I’ve started divorce proceedings online citing “wanting to bone Henry cavill till the wheels fall off” as a reason.
Thoughts and prayers for my soon to be ex husband

I got called 'baby girl' more than once in the USA...

It amused me rather a lot.

I ticked off one older man for calling me 'my love' at work when I was young and fervent .

He looked really hurt and I felt bad. Yes it was a bit patronising but he didn't mean any harm by it it was just his manner.

I pay a lot more attention to context, tone and power dynamics these days.

One of my proudest moments was when I had to make an order for building materials on behalf of my husband, who was driving. The cocky youngster taking it kept calling me darling - which he would definitely not have used to DH - so in the end I mustered enough courage to use it back to him. He laughed, apologised, and didn't do it again.

@Fangsalot89

To clarify as the OP of the post, I’ve started divorce proceedings online citing “wanting to bone Henry cavill till the wheels fall off” as a reason. Thoughts and prayers for my soon to be ex husband

Don’t forget to don your Scarlet Letter.

Where I live, I don't bat an eyelid at Love, everyone uses it. The customer who addressed me as 'my good woman' while trying to mansplain my company to me on the other hand, got shown the door.

I love working for myself, the customer isn't always right and I can tell someone to fuck off when necessary

I used to live in an area of Northumberland where any female was called Hinny by all and sundry

@Laufeythejust

My DP is from Northern Ireland and him calling me sweetheart with his accent still makes me all smiley and giggly 6 years in. Anyone else would have got an eye roll.

A northern Irish fella phoned up my work the other day. Just a normal conversation, but it got me all flustered and made me weak at the knees 🤣.

Never happened before, but his voice and accent just made me come over all of a doo-daa.

@Fangsalot89

To clarify as the OP of the post, I’ve started divorce proceedings online citing “wanting to bone Henry cavill till the wheels fall off” as a reason. Thoughts and prayers for my soon to be ex husband

I'm crying with laughter.

But wanted to clarify, as Superman, himself or The Witcher.

Because The Witcher I can get right behind you in the divorce queue.

For me it's all about tone and intent. You can generally tell when someone is using a "term of endearment" to belittle you or as a sexual leer as opposed to reassurance an innocuous pleasantry and because it's simply their way. I actually quite like the latter!

I once complained to someone's manager about a member of their staff saying, "good morning" to me because it was done while he looked me up and down with a deliberately lascivious/intimidating smile and out of earshot of anyone else. He clearly thought he was being very clever and that I couldn't possibly complain if he said something so innocuous, regardless of how he said it. His manager got it immediately and didn't seem surprised so I expect it wasn't the first incident.

I suppose complaining about that would make me a 'Karen' these days (and I wonder how many women have been put off of reporting this sort of thing through fear of that label) but funnily enough I don't give a shit!

Also off to divorce my DH due to impure thoughts about various indie rockers.

I think I sort of know what you mean. I have a reasonably new colleague, a lovely guy (I don’t fancy him). We are quite different in background, education, outlook and professional experience, and he has taken to calling me by an unusual diminutive of my first name, completely out of the blue. It shocked me a bit at first, and I was very but he’s genuinely lovely, super supportive of my kids being around during homeschool. Really lovely to work with, so I just let it go. A couple of colleagues (male and female) and I had a bit of a giggle about it when he wasn’t around and I almost said something but I know he would he mortified if he thought I was upset.

Now here’s the rub. He used this name for me in a whole team meeting, and also in a meeting with some big wigs, and it’s been going on so long now I can’t say anything. Some of you will say it’s a control/respect thing, but I don’t think it is. I’ve worked with arseholes and he’s not one of them.

"I'm a feminist but..."

@MrsTerryPratchett
I will gladly take him as the Witcher (I mean, good grief it seems really unfair he even looks that good) and as himself but as superman he doesn’t do it for me. I even had impure thoughts of him from when he was in mission impossible. I think it was the moustache and the double gun thing he did before a fight.
My poor ovaries.

But I’m also in the market for the guy from Banshee and Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh and Stephen Amell and Jensen Ackles and Cillian Murphy from Peaky Blinders and …… I have a problem.

@AmIPeriOrAreYouJustAnnoying “I don’t like overly familiar nicknames from near strangers but this one is hot so I’m less bothered….” I fixed that for you.

Sweetheart is one I use to excuse myself to a child if I need to squeeze past them in the supermarket. Or Possum, or Sunshine. None are terms fit to be used to an adult you aren't very close to.

🤣 @Fangsalot89

I agree it's regional. My partner is from a village near Oldham and he and his dad sometimes call women 'love ' and men 'fella' as terms of endearment even if they're not that close to the person. It used to bother me because I hate being called 'darling' etc but I've realised context is everything. They're not being condescending at all, or leery, it's just the way they were brought up to show friendliness by their parents and grandparents in quite a traditional community.

Everyone seems to call everyone else by endearments where I live. You can’t be offended by the bus driver calling you ‘Darling’ when he’s just called the tattooed bloke in front of you ‘Me Duck’.

You have a crush on your neighbour, and are married.....really? Perhaps time to end the marriage for your partner's benefit. DIsgraceful behaviour

Lol, married people are allowed to have crushes, it's not like you have to act on them
I personally don''t mind being called sweetheart, I find it friendly.
(Appreciate not everyone thinks the same though)

Everyone seems to call everyone else by endearments where I live. You can’t be offended by the bus driver calling you ‘Darling’ when he’s just called the tattooed bloke in front of you ‘Me Duck’

Yorkshire by any chance?

@Fangsalot89

To clarify as the OP of the post, I’ve started divorce proceedings online citing “wanting to bone Henry cavill till the wheels fall off” as a reason. Thoughts and prayers for my soon to be ex husband

I genuinely cried laughing at that and am stealing “bone till wheels fall off”

@Abigailandthefoxes all yours! 🤣 it gets the point across in such an elegant way I think