talk to me about self harm please

[MitchyInge]

my 17yo has started again, after a long break (couple of years or so) - she has previously been hospitalised for anorexia and has a few serious suicide attempts under her belt

I find it v difficult to understand self harm, it seems to be independent of actual clinical depression and she just says she doesn't know why she does it or what, if anything, precipitates it

grateful for any light anyone can shed

MW

I hope you get some answers soon

Where do you live MitchyInge?

Some Mental Health Trusts have specialist self harm teams.

I found writing a diary about my self harm hugely helpful in identifying why I did it A lot of self harm is to stop yourself from feeling so analysing your feelings around it can be difficult, but just writing down what is going on gives a lot of insights.

I hope that things go ok tomorrow MitchyInge, keep talking and dont forget about yourself either as it is hard to be parent of a child that self harms.

sorry that was a really shitty response wasn't it.

MitchyInge - glad she got some help at A+E. Generally they try to keep people out of hospital, as there it is not always the best place to be to access long term help or support, and adult wards don't have the same activites etc as adolescent wards.

Crisis Teams can be lacking helpful support - but there are generally a wide range of people in the team and some people in them actually can be good. If you find that person/s worth asking to keep seeing them.

Might be worth asking for support from a mental health worker who specialises in self-harm or any known underlying issues. I hope the consultant can help with any medication - some prn medication can really help.

Hope it goes well for you

Wrt self harm being a personality disorder thing, I think that it is really a teenage thing, and that borderline can almost be described as extreme teenage behaviour. So she may well find the sh easier to control when she is a bit older. But very hard for you right now, I dread to think what I put my mum through.

not at all KFP!

I appreciate all the responses, her difficulties predate the onset of puberty by miles and she has had lengthy hospitalisations before - it all gets worse at times of stress so GCSE time was bad and these final weeks of VIth form can't be good either

Think if anyone can help her my old consultant can, it took a while but he sorted me out in the end. Would be good to avoid an admission now she is somewhere between the child and adult services though.

Thanks for all your thoughts

I don't know if it's any help, but if she wants to talk to someone who has been through it then she can always send me a message. CAT should work on here.

thank you Kaloki, will pass that on, that's kind of you

she's agreed to a 3 month admission at Cygnet (Ealing) and to postpone her exams, consultant felt v strongly that this was best plan and will get funding from NHS

Hi,
Great she got funding for private care. Hope that it gives her the time she needs. Is it adolescent unit? It is very difficult to get funding as an adult for private hospitals with NHS catering for adults, so really hope this stay helps her. I know one student who took her exams in an adolescent unit, one each stay in reality, but if exams are to be postponed until next exam session hope that helps her.

Hope this helps you too.

yes she'll be on a ward with other girls the same age, similar problems, having DBT (which is exactly what I hoped for) though it could be a few weeks before the funding is approved

I hope it is not too gruelling for her

thanks ever so much everyone who responded, it's been a great help

MW Just to prepare you for when she is admitted- she sounds just like me when I was younger- being hospitalised is going to be very tough for all of you.

She will at first be in denial- I'm only here for a rest/ short time/ I'm normal really sort of thing

Then she will probable lash out- I certainly did.

then hospital becomes 'safe' and she will fear leaving.

Don't worry I felt all this and I have a very full life now. I also will never forgive myself for all the pain I put my mum through and one day she will realise how strong you were for her and he heart will throb.

thanks MrsVidic

it is encouraging to hear that your life is better now, think you should forgive yourself though because am sure if you'd had a full and free choice you'd have opted not to be so unhappy in these days

unfortunately it's not her first hospitalisation, but can live in hope it might be her last?