Depresssion/anxiety; what do you tell your children?

[OrmIrian]

I've been off citalopram for about a month I suppose. I have been up and down but basically it's not good and I took a 10mg tablet this afternoon as I have admitted defeat Can't subject my family to any more. DD and DS#1 are pussy-footing round me and every few minutes one of them is asking if I am alright and give my a hug - which is lovely for me but not good for them.

What I am wondering is whether I should tell them what is wrong. I desperately want them to know that mummy hasn't morphed into bitch-from-hell mother and that they really haven't done anything wrong.

Or would telling them be overburdening them. Is there any possibility that they would just see it in the same way as mummy's athsma for which she takes an inhaler daily?

Ha! Well I'm working from home so that's quite a distraction I suppose.

i find when there's stuff that has to be done (sahm w/toddler) i'm mostly okay at holding it all together (was similar when i worked, never took a single sick day w/depression) but the tension builds over the day and it's when i've finally packed them off to bed it all comes bubbling out, that's when distractions come into play for me.

OrmIrian - I am here to sound off too if you want. I feel atm like it is a fine line between holding it together and just falling about so understand.

The last time I was crying uncontrollably poor ds1 got so worried, was hugging me and saying 'what's wrong mummy', I just said I was very sad about lots of different things and this happened sometimes but I would be ok...

he got into my bed that night and checked my eyes in the morning to see if I was still crying...he's 6.

Mostly instead of crying I just get horribly, horribly ratty. Plus I can think I am doing fine and then just SNAP, usually as a result of either the two boys fighting or the 2 year old losing it as 2 year olds do.

I do find 2 year olds very emotionally draining to deal with and think it has to do with my mother's treatment of me as some of you on here note. I can't remember what happened that early on but there are dark tales of me being locked in rooms to 'scream it out' etc . I never do that but I do get so enraged at toddler requirements sometimes especially when you are soooooo tired and jsut want to crawl back under a hole.

Mind you sometimes I find the ds's cheer me up especially ds1 who is like my little mate a lot of the time now he's come out of the most recent bloody awkward phase ;)

Thankyou.

"Mostly instead of crying I just get horribly, horribly ratty." Yep. Me too. It just bubbles out without warning - all this fury. Horrible.

fabster - thanks. One of the things that reassures and and saddens me at the same time is how many other women go through the same old shit.

I know. It is so common and that makes it so sad but maybe it will be a comfort that feeling like this is normal.

I have felt angry towards my kids, unconsciously, as it isn't their fault they have everything I never did.

horrible isn't it orm, the red mist that descends at times (I find it far worse at times of normal stress, bedtimes, school dropoff etc )

what I try to do is apologise and explain to ds1 (ds2 can't understand yet), that mummy gets grumpy but she is really sorry and it isn't his fault.

For disciplining purposes I try to pick out what aspects of his behaviour have not been 'helpful' (i.e. I got annoyed cos you said x or wouldn't do x) but to explain at the same time that I overreacted then cos I am 'grumpy' today and that that wasn't fair and am sorry etc.....

tbh I do seem to have a terribly charming and very emotionally mature 6 year old so maybe something in that approach does work. I do see him getting hyper and anxious though and can't help thinking that is my moodiness etc rubbning off on him

DS~1 is being totally adorable. Giving me spontaneous hugs and even going so far as to put some of his clothes away . I think he might have told DD as she is being very gentle with me too. I am so so lucky with my DC.