Anybody else find the news too depressing?

[zebraX]

Could change my name for this, but it's not a crisis thing, just a bit difficult for me. I wonder if other people feel the same, or is there a way I can find to not let these things get to me so much.

When awful things happen & get reported like Abigail Witchells, deaths of children, horrendous abuse stories, etc. I feel so upset. A little boy at DS's school died last weekend (very suddenly, somewhat tragically) and it's prayed on my mind the last few days. I'm still getting on with my own life, but I couldn't sleep last night thinking about the local boy, for instance. I find myself avoiding news reports because I don't want to hear about the awful things happening in the world. Just upsets me too much.

Is that OTT? Before I had children I didn't mind so much, but now any time I hear about terrible harm, esp. done to children, & esp. if there is an element of injustice or tragedy about it, just guts me.

Or do other people feel the same?

I think I need to write a bit more, trying to get this out of my system, rather than dwell on it, I hope...

Please don't read if you're easily upset... (!?)

The little boy at my son's school who died recently -- he was the same age (5.5yo) & had the same first name as my son. This boy had been ill often with chest infections over the winter, but nothing seemed unusual. One day he was taken to hospital with breathing difficulties, they found a tumour... I don't know exactly what happened next but he died the same day. Complete & total shock. Everyone at the school (& preschool) was (is) very upset.

Almost every night since I heard I just can't sleep for ages, I keep thinking about it. I know it's worse because I don't understand exactly why he died, none of the local mums quite knows, either, the mother of the boy can't talk about it. I am hoping to learn more at the boy's funeral (next week).

It feels like I really ought to get a grip, it's not my family who were directly affected, I didn't know the family that well, it won't do my own family any good me being sleep-deprived. Last night I tried to think about Misdee's Peter which did help distract me, actually. But it also feels like death has danced around my little world for the last year (many people we know a little bit affected by death). It scares me. The death of this little boy has upset me most, was too close to home... I keep picturing his face & just cannot believe that I'll never see him again. I can't bring myself to go see the mother because I'll descend into incoherent tears if I try... can't see how that would be supportive to her.

Now, maybe I've cast that to the ether I can worry about it for 2 minutes less tonite...

Sorry for wasting anybody's bandwidth...

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Gosh that is terrible, Zebra, like you say too close to home.
Even when a child in dd's class got complications from c/pox 2 yaers ago and had weeks off school with a sort of enchaphilitis which made him very ill for a time, I got compeletly paranoid when dd went down with c/pox a year ago and watched her like a hawk for any problems.
Totally relate to the book thing Marina, when I read Julie Myerson's Something Might Happen, I burst into tears at the point where the girl (similar age to dd) is found dead. I've never cried at book before and am not burster-into-tears person. In my head it all became how I would feel about dd.

Zebra - go see the mother - she is probably feeling that everyone is avoiding her because they all feel as you do. I think it is ok to cry in that situation - it shows you care.

I'm not sure if the mother actually likes me much, Tholt. (am I being paranoid?). She was friendly when I first moved here, but much less so last 5-6 months. Apparently the father is taking the whole thing very very badly and the mother is trying to be "strong" for them both (& their 4yo DD). I suppose the Mother is shutting down emotionally because she can't process her own grief right now, she has to be strong for everybody.

Anyway, I'm afraid it will just feel like a chore/duty visit to her if I turn up to say how sad I am. I did smile ("hello" sort of smile, from across the road) at both parents when I saw them walking their DD to preschool the other mother. I won't avoid her, but not sure she'd want to see me of all people.

how about sending her a card - say something like you don't want to intrude, but if she would like a friendly face then you are there ....

I think the card is a good idea - she may not be ready to face people yet - or it may be too difficult to talk about at the moment

agree a card would be nice, put your number on there and ask them to call if they need anything practical doing.

marina, i totally agree re: some events affecting me much more than others, the leneghan story is appalling, i keep imagining her as a little girl, growing up into a vulnerable young woman and then being brutally murdered, it leaves me choked (and this, from "hard-headed" journo type who once covered 3 funerals in a week, quite dispassionately - apart from one which really got to me, the murder of an aid worker in somalia, meeting his calm, kind and wise father just hours after the news made the whole thing seem much more "real" iykwim)

Hi there, I'm a mumsnet virgin . like to join in discussion, agree about depressing news. I'm also unhappy about the degree of graphic detail used on tv/radio news. I find myself muting news sometimes rather than my 3 yr old daughter hearing something really gruesome.

in my experience the bulletins when children are likely to be around are somewhat sanitised (certainly at the front of my mind when i was writing material for bulletins), and have led to interesting discussions re: why some people don't like each other (eg Iraq)

Zebra crying with someone can be a really cleansing and caring experience, don't feel scared of seeing her....the card's a lovely idea too.. poor sweetheart

Oh Zebra that's really awful, that poor family. My ds is the same age and I had a 'heartstop' when I read your post.

Agree with all those who have said a card is a good idea.

I don't know you at all Zebra but while agreeing that many of us have been far more affected by bad news/ terrible events post children than before we have them it does sound worrying to me that you are regularly losing sleep over this sort of thing - it sounds as though these morbid thoughts are affecting your health? It reminds me a bit of PND. Is there anyone in RL you talk to about it?

It takes a rare person to know deep down that they are not the right face at the door at times like these Zebra, how wise you are not to turn up if your instincts are telling you she may not welcome your visit. I am so sad for them and for you.
I am not surprised you are profoundly affected by this tragic death, I think many of us would be in the circumstances. And if such a thing happens at a time when there are especially grim stories in the news, then we can really feel emotionally shredded.
About the time Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman were murdered I suffered a stillbirth. I was not as quick with the remote button as I would have been normally and ds knew two little girls had disappeared. We told him they had wandered off and got lost, he was only three and there was no way I could think of not to lie. All that Autumn he kept asking if they had found their way home yet.
Zebra, I think puddle may have a point. Are you OK?

Zebra, I don't EVER watch tv news and only read a paper once a week for the same reasons as you, I just can't face it tbh. I get my news from that one paper on Sunday and from mumsnet and that's it since I don't often listen to the radio either and if I do it's usually radio 3 or 4 (as long as it's not a news prog). how awful about the little boy. I think Abigail Witchell case has moved a lot of us tbh, it was partic grim and tragic.

The news makes me cry nearly every time I watch it! Especially now I'm pregnant again... The recent murder and abduction thing sets me off every time it's mentioned...

Marina, Puddle -- nice of you to ask.. NO, no PND here, but I am very prone to insomnia, doesn't take that much to keep me awake. Insomnia seems to run down the female line, my mom, me, DD. DD just finds it very hard to fall asleep & doesn't seem to need much sleep, I was worse, if anything, as a child. Being mother to an insomniac makes me realise how annoying it must have been for my poor mother, too!

-- I have deliberately avoided reading about Abigail Witchells, I just know I can't take it.
Am thinking I started to turn all wet before I had children, actually. In 1997 I passed up an opportunity to visit Auschwitz, knowing I would just fall to pieces if I went there.