Do you have any experience of Bipolar Disorder?

[Janni]

I would like to educate myself about this illness, as my oldest friend has been suffering from it for a few years.

We lost touch for many years as I moved from her home town when I was 12, but she phones from time to time and I am going to phone her tonight and arrange to visit her.

What I am interested in finding out is: how does it feel to have bipolar? What can family and friends do to help? What do the mental health services have to offer? Are there any alternative therapies that are of any value here?

I should add that I trained as a mental health nurse but have not worked in the field for 12 years and it's not a condition came across much in my professional life.

I would be grateful for any insights people could offer so that I can support my friend.

i am trying to get a job at the moment having had my own business

i dont know how it will be when i am not in complete control of my hours and input etc

i am finding the lack of structure at the moment hard

Thanks for your post, zippi. I hope you find a job that suits you.

northernrefugee - that sounds like personality rather than disease to me - it's certainly never something I've come across (read quite a lot, and am in medical field also)

zippi - I agree about routine being so vital. It's described on the autistic spectrum of course, but I think to a lesser degree it can help in many other ways.

I divulge - confidentially to occupational health, then will discuss which senior colleague to tell. They are usually fine with this, and on the odd occasion others have found out/ needed to know, it's usually after you've started and usually the reaction then is much more respect and surprise.

I am not textbook as I abandoned lithium - which has very literally saved my life in the past - because I was so sick of never experiencing any extreme positive emotion. Now I laugh with my daughter and feel this amazing joy. I missed that SO much that I'll take the fact that there seem to be a few more bad days. If things get terrible again... then sure, it will be worth it.

i dont take any medication

either

i dont have family support as such

it is something i am very private abbout in rl

my exp was my support but i have had to manage without him for the last twelve months or so and wasnt sure how i would get on

but i am ok

i think in a way if no one knows then you have to be resourceful and work things out for yourself which you may do less if you had people around making decisions for you and picking up the pieces

I have a friend with bipolar.
Apparently just being there as a friend and not vanishing off the face of the planet when told is a good start
Accepting the lows with the highs and just being on the end of the phone.
I find it quite worrying sometimes knowing hes in the gutter, but he always seems to crawl back out.

having said that i am worried about what happens when things do go wrong if you dont have any support and i have worked hard this year to get back into the system on my own terms

but mental health provision is something which is patchy and unrpedicatable and you have to be very assertive and know exactly what you want and how to get it and make the best of what is available

i dont feel i need help at the moment but if i dont pursue it then i will have to manage on my own if things do go wrong so i am trying to prevent that by putting in place measures i can call on

that is not however how the system is designed to work so you have to make it work for you as best you can

I agree with you zippi. I know it's not the same thing, but I get really frustrated as well by the limitations of my job. I wanted to do lots of therapeutic work but instead I see my colleagues juggling a caseload of 35+, plus injection clinics plus tribunals, CPAs, documentation............only so much you can physically do in 37.5 hours a week. So at the moment I have 15 clients and am doing my best to engage and work in a client focused way and the documentation is not my priority................making the most of it while I can. I'm glad you were assertive enough to get the service you want/need. It's sad that many are not and get substandard care.

My Mum has always been bi-polar, her sister reckons it started when she was 5yrs old.
Was always a VERY demanding child, scared of going outside, very bad tantrums all her childhood.
Then when my Dad met my mum her familly actually sat my Dad down and told him about her and her "moods" but he accepted her as she was.
Bi-polar people are usually of high intelligence and even today my Dad says she is the most intelligent person he has ever met, but i've not seen much evidence of it.
She only worked for one year and then became ill with severed PND after my birth, so i had to be looked after by my granma for one year as my Mum could not cope.
A couple of years later she had my brother and then back into hospital for 18months.
My Dad at that time was living in Switzerland so my brother went to live with my Dad's parents and i went to my Mum's parents for almost 2yrs.
So on the face of it being bi-polar is HORRIBLE for famillies.
Rest of our childhood, Mum took loads of pills to keep her "stable", but that usually meant sleeping most of the day and being snappy and angry.
Every now and again she would be a lovely mother and i treasured those times.
But she could also get quite violent and me and my brother actually made locks for our bedrooms just to keep her out! When she had too much to drink and Dad was out.
She did hit me a few times and drag me around by my hair.
Fast forward until 5yrs ago and she must have had some kind of stroke or something and she went TOTALLY manic and spent over £30,000 in a couple of weeks (all my parents savings) on stuff bought off cable TV shopping channels and then she would dress up in flowing clothes and wander the streets threatening people.
Almost got arrested by the police for trying to drown a little girl in the swimming pool (said she was trying to show the mother how to teach the girl to swim).
Of course she was sectioned and the police had to come to the house.
She was in hospital for 2yrs and has now been home for almost 18 months and she is "calm" but does try to kill herself, has tried it so often in the past we just don't notice anymore.
She is just a shell and they "think" she has Dementia BUT she is still quite bright so they think she is not dissabled.
So to answer your question, as long a bi-polar people receive the right medication at the right time and people know what to expect then bi-polar is NOT a dissability it makes you very creative.
Phew!

Am reading all your posts - thanks for taking the time.

Hi Janni - I haven't got much to add that hasn't already been said. My DH is bi-polar and life can be a bit of a challenge - especially where money is concerned. However, he has managed to hold down a job since February, which is great
He is also doing a stirling job of dealing with me, as I have been suffering with quite severe PND. This meant that for the first 14months of our son's life (he is now nearly 2), DH had to do pretty much everything for DS - I barely acknowledge that DS was there. DH now says that the experience has helped to stabilise him.
What I find most frustration about DH's bi-polar is that DH can't see when he is 'manic' until after it has passed, which can have serious consequences.

Another thing is that people often enjoy their mania (who wouldn't?)and don't like taking medication because it stops them feeling. Hence they would rather be manic and feel than stable with blunted emotions.

Hi Janni. My XP has recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The past couple of years have been bewildering, and the diagnosis at least makes some sense of them.

For information explaining the condition, and how family and friends can help, visit www.mdf.org.uk, which is the website of a key UK bipolar charity. We have found it helpful.

I would echo wotulookinat's view that the manic episodes can be the toughest to deal with, at least for family and friends: the fall-out, in our family at least, has been utterly devastating, and coming to terms with it has excerbated XP's lows. Without the diagnosis at the time, how else do you explain spending well over £100,000 and sleeping around with gay abandon? XP had no idea at the time that this was alarming, destructive and dangerous behaviour and so would not get help when he really needed it.

Swot up with the MDF and just be there for your friend, and maybe ask her at a relatively stable time how she would like you to help her during a manic or depressive episode. My XP has now agreed that if I and others suspect he has become manic, we can ask him to see his doctor. If he refuses, we can arrange hospitalisation. It sounds severe, but he has agreed this in the middle of dealing with the aftermath of the last high, and feels sure - at least at the moment - that he doesn't want to go so up again.

Good luck, and hats off to you for being so accepting and supportive.

It must be very hard for you piecesofeight - I have seen the damage that sexually disinhibited behaviour causes to partners

Hi there,
I belive my DH is bipolar and have had a tough few days.
I assume there are lots of different levels and nothing that bad has happened to us just yet, and hope it won't as he is now seeking treatment.
Best wishes to everyone battling with this, I will create a new thread to know about how you get on with life when your dh is bipolar.
Thanks

I hope you get some help on your thread, pwf xx