Postpartum anxiety worsening while waiting for baby's specialist appointment

[DaringMember]

I’m really hoping for some advice and perspective because I feel like I’m not coping, and I can’t tell what’s a real concern vs my mental health spiralling.

I’ve had a long history of anxiety, especially around health, but since having my baby 7 months ago it has become much worse. I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety to the point where I actually needed a hospital admission. Since then, I still feel very fragile.... constantly on edge, overwhelmed, and fixated on things. Once a worry gets into my head, I can’t seem to let it go.

There’s also been a lot of emotional stress with my sister in law. We had a falling out around the time of our babies, and things have been tense and distant since. I carry a lot of guilt and sadness about it, and I think it’s made me feel even more vulnerable. I find myself comparing to her and her perfect birth and baby and feeling judged, which just adds to everything I’m already dealing with.

Recently, I’ve become very worried that my baby might have Marfan syndrome. She had a pneumothorax when she was in intensive care, and she has a pectus excavatum (funnel chest). She is extremely tall and flexible. I’ve read things online linking these to connective tissue disorders, and now I can’t stop analysing her body and looking for signs.

Our baby has been referred to a specialist, but we’re currently in the waiting period, which is making my anxiety so much worse. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo, constantly thinking about worst-case scenarios and checking her for things.

This is where I’m struggling:

• I don’t know if these are legitimate concerns or if my anxiety is magnifying everything

-I feel constantly “on alert” and unable to relax or enjoy my baby

• I’m terrified of missing something serious, but also worried I’m creating fear where I don’t need to
• Emotionally, I feel overwhelmed and fragile, especially with the added family stress

I guess I’m hoping for:

• Perspective from anyone who has experienced severe postpartum anxiety/depression (especially with hospital admission)
• Thoughts on whether these signs sound strongly concerning or not
• Advice for coping during the waiting period for specialist appointments

Feel my mental health deteriorating again....

I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough time. Are you on medication? I tried everything to stop my ruminations and spirals then when medication was offered, the medication just stopped it. All the best with the referral.

Who is overseeing your MH since you came out of hospital? Could you speak to them?

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP, it can be so difficult especially when it is worry for your child.

Anxiety aside I do think the combination of symptoms you mention are worth properly investigating, it may be nothing, but it’s best to get things properly checked and I know you have your appointment to do that which is great.

Medication for anxiety if not already on these could help in the meantime and more long term though for sure. I hope you get good news OP x

Unfortunately I stopped my meds due to too many side effects

So you think its marfans? Feel so sad
Her male cousins are fine
What have I done wrong

I have a psychiatrist but they dont know what to do with me since I stopped my meds

Did you stop your meds slowly and under their supervision/on their recommendation?

I don’t know if it is, but those things combined I would say are enough to warrant a proper check which I’m assuming is what your appointment is for so that is good. It could be, it could be something else, it could be absolutely nothing at all.

The main thing OP is that regardless, if it is, you have not done anything wrong. Marfan is a gene mutation, it’s nothing you have done or not done.

Not really but I remained honest and open about it with them

I did all the testing though
Feel awful
Is it my age? Im 33. My sister in law much younger.

Your post really struck a cord with me because I've been where you are with health anxiety and post partum anxiety.
I'm not an expert in any of these things but I did a quick Google so maybe can help you rationalise things.

The first two things you mention (pneumothorax and funnel chest) are in some ways just one issue,with one causing predisposal to the other.
Your second observation is just that. An observation which you admit comes from a mind which is very anxious and looking for symptoms.

I think by far the most likely explanation here is that your very real anxiety is causing you to fixate on things that are not necessarily an issue. It can be helpful to get things looked in to but I don't think there is anything in your post which makes Marfan syndrome a particularly likely outcome.

If it helps, I found my anxiety dropped off a cliff edge after my first baby turned 1. I also found an excellent counsellor who I spoke to online who really helped to calm down my thoughts.

Which do you think caused the other? The pneumothorax caused the funnel chest? Thanks for your reply.

Which testing did you have?

If you just mean the routine NHS screening that doesn’t test for things like Marfan. The routine screening is for chromosomal conditions and major structural abnormalities, they don’t test for single gene conditions like Marfan.

Maternal age does not impact Marfan it is caused by a mutation in a gene and that can happen at any age x

NIPT testing
Ah ok :(
I am stuck in a poor us why us loop
Im not sure how I will be able to parent a baby with this condition if my nightmare does come true

Ah yes so NIPT doesn’t look for Marfan either. Really the only time you would test for Marfan in pregnancy is if there was a strong family history.

There is nothing you could have done OP and it might be absolutely nothing, it may not be Marfan and just one of those things.

I would really recommend medication for anxiety OP, whether this is or isn’t Marfan, you don’t have to live like this x

Sounds like you need to go back to psych. I understand you’re worrying but you’re spiralling at the moment and feeding the fear.

Back to hospital? I am just in a poor me loop which I know is stupid but also why me?

Are you under the perinatal team OP? You need to be referred to psychology.

Yes
I have very good care