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Original poster

Daughter with eating disorder/depression - will she ever get better?

29 replies

Prospect22 · 15/02/2026 22:08

My daughter (now 18), has been struggling with a binge eating disorder for 5 years. She kept it completely hidden from me until last year, when the depression and anxiety it caused got too much for her, and she finally opened up about it. She was using alcohol has a crutch to cope in social situations, and more recently has started to self harm. She has been getting professional help for her mental health since she opened up about her issues last year (CBT, psychiatrist, referral to CAMHS, is on Fluoxetine). Her attendance at school has been extremely poor but they have been very supportive, and she goes in when she can, as well as being supported by private tutors at home. Having peeled back the layers, the psychiatrist feels that her issues all stemmed from the Covid lockdowns and the lack of structure and routine during the homeschooling months. I am just wondering how other mums have coped if their teens have struggled with similar mental health issues? Sometimes I feel that she's never going to get better, and I am very frightened on what the future may bring. Does anyone on here have positive stories to share?! Is there light at the end of this very long dark tunnel?

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/02/2026 18:38

She sounds adhd. Binge eating is one of the symptoms ( dopamine hits)

My dd was similar. Adhd meds took away appetite. She’s normal weight and eats properly now.

Original poster
Prospect22 · 19/02/2026 12:54

Superscientist · 18/02/2026 18:16

The most important thing to understand about eating disorders is that the problem isn't the food whether that's bingeing or restricting or other behaviours. They are the symptoms. The problem is whatever it is that is causing her to feel like these are the solutions.

I have a 5 yo and she can be a like a shaken bottle of fizzy drink at times. I went along to a session on emotions the school put on and they spoke about how when a person has become dysregulated that this is not the time for discussion and negotiation. They need time and space to calm down and then once they are back to baseline you can talk about what happened and discuss how it arose and what you can do.

I'd be careful about using the link between her bingeing and then not going to the gym as reasons for not bingeing. I understand that you won't necessarily be using the same words here as you would to her. It could be seen that it is reinforcing the idea that she is right to not go to the gym after bingeing and also that she needs to go to the gym in the first place.

The other thing that is important to remember is she didn't get like this over night. It slowly creeps in until you don't really know where the start was and even what is you and what is the eating disorder. It can take a lot of untangling and it's something that you have to keep facing day after day.

Do you have much insight into what tips her over into needing to binge and what role the bingeing is fulfilling? For me it was in part a coping mechanism for the depression I didn't feel like I could control but also it became my default method so the bar for needing to engage in behaviours got lower and lower by the point that it was almost habitual. Freeing myself from it was in part breaking the habit for that to be my go to for a bad day and also working on improving the days so less were bad

Thank you so much for messaging - very interesting insights to have. I have asked her and she says the bingeing fills a hole which contains depression, loneliness and hopelessness feelings. How to combat these is still proving elusive, so this is what she needs help with now. Once the hole closes up, everything will start heading in the right direction.

OP posts:
Superscientist · 19/02/2026 16:25

The best description I have read for depression is in the second twilight book and Bella is a described as always having her her arms crossed her stomach as trying to hold her her insides in.

It so good you are starting this communication. I would add more caution though it might not be a straightforward journey.

ByI describe recovery as stoney path when you are starting it feels like every rock trips you up but as you gains skills and resources you learn how to navigate around and over the rocks and stones. Situations you would have previously found challenging you handle with ease. However the rocks and bumps are still there.
You learn to look further ahead you spot which rocks you need to avoid, which you know you can climb over. You gain confidence you can walk and run, hop and skip and not fall but still need to be wary of complacency as you might misjudge a rock and find it is bigger than expected or you might just have a bad day and find yourself stumbling. You don't go back to the beginning but you might find you need a bit of help and support again.

Do you have anywhere to get support for yourself?

Original poster
Prospect22 · 19/02/2026 21:27

Superscientist · 19/02/2026 16:25

The best description I have read for depression is in the second twilight book and Bella is a described as always having her her arms crossed her stomach as trying to hold her her insides in.

It so good you are starting this communication. I would add more caution though it might not be a straightforward journey.

ByI describe recovery as stoney path when you are starting it feels like every rock trips you up but as you gains skills and resources you learn how to navigate around and over the rocks and stones. Situations you would have previously found challenging you handle with ease. However the rocks and bumps are still there.
You learn to look further ahead you spot which rocks you need to avoid, which you know you can climb over. You gain confidence you can walk and run, hop and skip and not fall but still need to be wary of complacency as you might misjudge a rock and find it is bigger than expected or you might just have a bad day and find yourself stumbling. You don't go back to the beginning but you might find you need a bit of help and support again.

Do you have anywhere to get support for yourself?

Negotiating the rocky path is a very good analogy and one that I will remember! Thank you! I can't afford to pay for therapy myself, as I am throwing all our finances into helping our daughter, but I have a very supportive circle of friends who are helping me through it.

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