So tired of feeling like this

[catshatsandchats]

I've had depression for over 20 years. I've tried many antidepressants, nothing changes or not for long anyway. I've had cbt and talking therapy. I'm currently under my gp again, waiting for a referral to local MH team.

In the meantime, people with similar issues, is there anything that gets you out of that rotting in bed, unable to do anything phase?

I have zero motivation. I just lie in bed dozing or wrapped in a blanket in front of the tv, colouring on my tablet. If I have to do something I leave it to the very last minute, then get stressed.

Logically I know this has to change but I just can't.

Thanks for reading.

Just to clarify, I live alone, can't work due to chronic health issues, my financial situation isn't great, near retirement age, all of this is getting me down.

Am the same, on lots meds, various diagnoses.

I usually put on loud music and all the lights on, then that helps me get dressed and washed, though I quite often don't wash.
( That's another issue)
I sometimes count to ten to see if I can get clothes on before reaching ten !!

I put my shoes and coat on and make myself go out the door. It's hard at first but I don't think about it I just do it. So it becomes a habit if you get me?

If I don't make myself go out for a walk or run an errand then I lie on sofa sleeping all day.
Something about putting lots lights on helps kind of motivate me. Oh and the jolly music .

Would that help you ? I've also got a lamp that simulates daylight (SAD?)

I don't put the lights on or heating because I can't afford to. I'm the same with washing, I manage a quick pits wash a day but showering, especially in winter is nearly impossible.

Have you looked up the symptoms of ADHD and Autism in women? It might explain why depression has affected you for a long time.

It's best to take baby steps. You're already washing which is good. Try and put clothes on every day instead of staying in pj's. Even if that's just changing into a clean pair of pj's. Then you can build up to things like going for a walk on the street or in a local nature place.

Would you be able to do some kind of volunteering or coffee morning to get you out the house? It's good to have a commitment because then you rouse yourself as someone is expecting you to show up.

I’m so sorry, it’s very difficult. I suffer too and do not leave the house for varying reasons but I try to do the following:

Dress daily.

I have a game I like to play on my laptop. Laptop is kept downstairs so I HAVE to get out of bed to do this.

I have an app on my phone called “tidy”. It gives small tasks to do daily like clean sink, mop kitchen, tidy top of washing machine, clean light switches etc. I don’t always do all of them, sometimes I do none, sometimes more, but it focuses me and seeing things clean or tidy is helpful.

I try to make £1 a day. Either selling something, doing surveys, or similar.

Our local area has online courses for MH sufferers. I do one ever so often. I’ve done them on Self Harm, PD, managing anxiety and others. It means I’m interacting with others, picking up tips for managing, passing time etc.

Routine. As I said, I dress daily. I shower every two days and have to force myself to do this but I know routine helps me. I reward myself with a coffee in the morning once dressed. I don’t really have an issue with sleeping too much, I sleep too little, but won’t allow myself to stay in bed. Even if it’s just moving to the sofa to lounge around. I make myself cook as often as possible.

If I’m just sitting, I try to do something meaningful. Delete emails, sort out the apps on my phone, pay a bill etc. achieving one small thing at a time is great.

Be kind to yourself. Light that scented candle, cut your nails, moisturise your face, spray a bit of perfume or something. Anything a bit indulgent.

I know that all sounds preachy. And it’s really hard. And clearly I’m not the oracle as I never leave the home so I don’t profess to know it all. But just achieving a tiny thing daily is a win x

I am very fortunate that the first antidepressants prescribed for me have helped immensely. I found getting in the shower and washing my hair practically impossible. I could manage to shampoo it but couldn’t then use the conditioner so I changed to a 2in1 brand. When I look back it sounds ridiculous but unless you’ve been there you’ve no idea. My anxiety etc was exacerbated by huge life changes that all happened at once plus the menopause which I think made it all ten times worse. Do try to get showered and dressed. It really does help xx

Thank you. I'm on the waiting list for a diagnosis but waiting time is about 4 years. However, from the pre questionnaire and from reading up and family experiences I'm 💯 sure I've adhd at least.

I do sometimes put loud music on, but I struggle with the noise sometimes. I like the idea of counting to 10!

Yes I keep my tablet in the living room, otherwise I'd never get out of bed!

I like the sound of the app, I'll look for it thanks.

How do you make £1 a day on surveys? The ones I do seem to take a long time to reach any reward.

I have signed up for courses but never manage to do them.

Thank you for all the ideas 😊

I don't like the feeling of washing my hair and don't cope with the cold at all. It might be easier if the flat was toasty warm.

Menopause might have contributed to my mood too, I've raised it with my gp but not sure they're interested.

Our GP surgery proved they know very little about menopause. Are you able to heat your home for a certain amount of hours a day? Do you have heaters or a hot water bottle you could use?

I have a heated blanket but that just makes me sleepy. I do heat the flat for half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night.

I think most GPs know little about menopause. Unfortunately there’s no menopause clinic anywhere near me. They also told me at my age I should think about stopping hrt. I don’t intend to ever stop. As Louise Newson (?) says, our hormones don’t start up again, so why would I stop hrt? I want to protect my bones etc.

I use prolific mainly, I get a few surveys each day.

I haven't heard of that one, I'll have a look, thank you.

I've spoken to my gp today and I feel like we've just wasted two weeks because she hadn't seen the letter she'd received from mental health team 😔

@Fodencat do you mind saying what antidepressant they gave you?
im asking as I have had mutiple
meds and the antidepressant I just had for last 5 months hasn’t worked well for my most recent ‘bout’ so I have a psychiatrist appt Monday and I think I will be getting a new one to try.

Sure. I’m on 20mg Citalopram x

Thanks - never tried that one actually. Glad it’s working for you 💕

I've been speaking to my GP and she tried to refer me to the mh team, but they've replied saying I've got enough support and things should stay as they are.

So after many years of depression and I'm stuck with a gp who isn't specialised trying me on different antidepressants that I've already tried. None of which make any long term difference.

I'm just tired of it all and tired of trying to survive. I'm struggling with the most basic things and thinking I may have to get rid of some pets because I'm not sure I can care for them. And any hope I had of getting more specialised help is gone.

Hi. I've been seriously mentally ill since I was 13. Sad really. Right now I'm just thinking about how I don't want to die one day. I sort of feel like, I'm in this strange confusing world that I can't grasp the basic rules of. I have obsessive compulsive disorder and intrusive thoughts. I haven't worked since 2019. Just when covid hit, I developed schizophrenia. On meds, they work. But I tried to cut down. Then I freaked out last night really bad. I'm still trying to calm down. I feel really weird right now.
Everything feels weird atm. It feels weird to me that I am talking to strangers on the internet. That it's a weird thing to do. But it helps. I just don't feel normal. My goal is to get off the drugs I'm addicted to and get a job. I'm losing the plot I think. Just a sense of surreality.

The only advice I could give you is to clean all the time. That helps me. I just get up every day because I have to feed my cats.

Hi @NewUserName1000, why are you trying to come off your meds when you say they work? It sounds like self-sabotage (I’ve done that myself and it only makes everything worse)

I actually think it’s ok to accept that this world is not right for all of us. I realised I only live for others, not for me and I’ve decided to move on. I think that’s an ok decision to make.

Hi all,

Sorry to read how low many of you are feeling. I used to feel like that too but thankfully eventually came out the other side.

For what it's worth none of it's easy when you feel bad. I've been there and know how impossible it can be to get out of bed. These are the things that have helped me.

You've probably tried CBT and may not have found it helpful (I didn't either) but learning to recognise your thoughts is powerful. Even if you can just stick a label on it when it comes e.g 'bad thought' or make up a fun nickname for them like 'Myrtle'. Imagining my thoughts like well trodden paths all running down the same route to the black pit. It is so hard to try and force them the other way and think 'I don't want to think that today'. Try and see it as rebelling against yourself. It became almost like an addiction for me ruminating over bad memories and things I've lost. Turning away from that was so so hard but it's just practice.

Get outside if you can. Going for a walk is so good for you, especially this time of year when the days are short. Putting a podcast or music on can help take your mind away. If you can't walk easily just sitting outside for a little bit if it's not (too horrendously rainy). Even better if you can exercise outside.

Getting a dog is life changing - I know so many people in my area now of all different generations. I would never have spoken to them without the pooch. If you can't have one but like pets consider if you could do Rover or Borrow my doggy (also a money making opportunity there!)

Being around people helps to wake me up. Even if you just go and sit in a library or somewhere like that and read a book for a bit or play on your phone at least it's a change of scene.

Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube. She has a 'yoga' for everything. You could type in 'yoga for bad days' or 'yoga for back pain' and there will be something similar. She's upbeat and funny but chilled and makes me feel happy. They are mostly 20 minutes and lots of them are very gentle and you won't need equipment. If you don't like Adrienne try and find a meditation or someone more your cup of tea!

Eat well - make sure you are eating meals and veggies. Kefir yogurt ! The gut brain link is huge so fermented foods or yogurt can genuinely help. Especially if you've been on antibiotics or similar before and might have blitzed your good bacteria.

Sleeping well- one I find very hard as an insomniac but so important. Make sure you aren't drinking caffeine late or watch when you take medications if they mess with your sleep.

Try to ring people not text. I'm terrible at this but hearing others voices is such a boost.

Be wary of social media. Pay attention to how you feel when you are on it. Is it making you feel shit? If it is - have a break. Even if it's deleting the app so you have to manually log in. It can help to loosen the habit.

Try and find something mindful that isn't on a screen. Like a puzzle, reading, knitting, colouring - whatever works for you.

Dont give up finding that cure / medication to help. For me sertraline was a huge help once I got past the initial side effects. Don't be afraid to go back through the ones you've tried if you think you might not have been consistent or given up quickly. If you are suffering or in chronic pain keep advocating for yourself and pushing the NHS. Stay on at them.

Appreciate all that might feel a lot but hopefully a couple of suggestions in there. Most of all be kind to yourself and know that sometimes just getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world.

xx

Also for those struggling with money have you done all the bank current account switching offers? They often bring out new ones so worth googling again.

You don't have to move your current account you can open up a second current account with your main bank very easily and use that one to switch.