Having therapy for OCD/emetophobia and I'm feeing sick - help!

[StrangeSenseOfCalm]

I'm on 200mg of sertraline and have been having ERP therapy for emetophobia since the start of the year. Things have been going well, but tonight I'm feeling really sick and I don't know what to do. To put it in context, the last time I vomited was probably about 10 years ago, and I've had SO MANY compulsions in place to try to reduce the risk of becoming unwell/sick, which I've had to gradually reduce over the course of this therapy. So I haven't felt sick for years, and it's awful.

Stupidly I hadn't discussed with my therapist what to do if this happened, and I'm feeling anxious and scared and alone and just want this nausea to go away.

I’ve just looked back through some of my old sessions and I just need to sit with the nausea and not engage in any behaviours to try to make it go away.

Argh.

Yes that’s right - sit with the feeling and remember - you’re not sick, it’s the anxiety making you feel that way. And as you sit with it it will wear off. And next time it won’t be as bad or for as long and so on

Hard to think of it like this but it’s an opportunity to test the feeling in a safe environment and start changing the way your brain thinks about it

good luck - I did cbt years ago for different phobias and felt exactly the same but what they tell you to do really works

No, it genuinely is illness, it’s not just anxiety. I’m feeling anxious because I’m feeling unwell, it’s definitely not the other way around. My kids were unwell last week (not with vomiting, but with some kind of virus that included diarrhoea, cough, sneezing) so I suspect it’s that.

Either way, the answer is to sit with it. I just feel awful. I really struggle with the physical sensation of nausea - I literally shut down. So I want it to go away. But I have to try to learn that although it’s horrible, I am safe and I’m teaching myself that I can cope with these feelings. Even though I just want it all to stop.

Every minute that passes is a minute closer to feeling better.

remind yourself that if the absolute worse happens and you are sick, you WILL be fine. It’s a very natural bodily function that exists simply to make you well again. If you can take one tiny piece of control back from
this awful phobia, it will slowly loosen its grip on you.

Dont tell yourself you’re not going to be sick. Tell yourself that if you are sick, you will
get through it and you’ll be absolutely fine.

Fresh air helps. And lots of deep, controlled breathing.

good luck x

Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise you were actually Ill. But you are right the answer is to sit with it still.

i hope you’re ok and that you are feeling better soon (and then very proud of yourself for getting through the situation without safety behaviours)

how are you doing OP? Offering a handhold here 💐

Love the username. I should have taken out shares in those - used so many since covid!

Just been sick. I survived. Feel utterly grim. At least I currently have some respite from the nausea.

I’m sorry @StrangeSenseOfCalm, I’m emetophobic as well and it’s so scary when you’re unwell. But, the worst has happened now and you’ll probably start feeling better. Take care of yourself. 💐

Oooooo I used to be emetophobic and it’s not nice. Do you know what cured me? Getting sick. It made me realise that it was never as bad as my anxiety made me think it would be.

Im teetering on an OCD episode at the moment (a different theme to being sick) and it’s a difficult illness to deal with.

Keep talking to us and sit with the unknown x

I’m sorry you’ve been sick. I’ve found that the build up and apprehension to being sick for the first time in a period of illness is the worst bit, and any following sickness over the course of the day/night is less scary as you surrender to going through the process. Well done for getting through it. It is unpleasant but you are safe x

I've suffered with emetophobia for years but it is starting to fade week by week.

The anxiety is so much worse than the sickness itself. The anticipation is just awful.

It's all about control. All about retraining your brain to learn to cope. Cope with the funny feelings, cope with the nausea, cope with feeling uncomfortable.

That took away a lot of the phobia for me. I can cope with this. It's not pleasant, but I can cope, and it'll soon be over.

It's taken a long time to get to this point but my brain is finally accepting it.

I also suffer from emetophobia and was sick in January this year for the first time in 7 years, the anxiety made everything 20x worse but nothing I did controlled it, all I had to do was survive it. It sounds like you're doing a really good job of keeping yours in line. I'm here with a handhold x

Thank you for all the lovely, supportive posts.

Yes, the anticipation is awful. I’d felt nauseous all day - waves of it, which I can recognise as real nausea likely to lead to vomiting rather than nausea that’s due to anxiety. I also find it completely debilitating - when I feel like that I literally can’t do anything. I’m grateful that it’s a day when my kids are with their dad, because the thought of trying to take them to school when I’m feeling like that is unbearable.

And the not knowing and lack of control is really difficult - I don’t know how to learn to accept that.

I haven’t vomited again, but still have a stomach ache and a headache, and I know I need to drink something, but I feel worse when I do, so I need to talk myself into that.

How are you feeling today? I have been through exposure therapy and the first time I got sick and had to really put it into action was so hard. But the anticipation was worse than the event.

I hope you're feeling better. You're being so brave, undergoing ERP and coping so well whilst being unwell.

I was really badly emetophobic (and my children's childhoods was a nightmare), but coming through menopause has helped a lot of my phobias to improve - which is odd but great.

I also found that vomiting helped - the worst had happened and I was still standing. I think a lot of emetophobia is the fear of the unpredictable. You don't know when it will happen, you don't know what will happen when and if it does, so I found it better when I could know that yes, I would throw up if I drank something, but I could get to somewhere I could deal with it and not just be randomly sick. So you might find you feel better if you're lying down with a bowl.

Good luck, OP, you've got this.

How are you feeling now OP after the event so to speak, do you think that your emetophobia is better for the experience you've been through?

Im struggling as both my husband and dad have sickness bugs right now. Im going crazy on the avoidance and had a really rough 2 days mentally. Is it worth just going through an episode of sickness? Like has it cured you in any way at all.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat When my children were young, I had to give them a bucket and leave the room for the actual event. I could deal with the cleanup, but it’s the actual event that I can’t cope with. I also wear rubber gloves!

It’s become a family joke tbh, neither of my children are emetophobic and think I’m daft. They sometimes wind me up by pretending that they feel sick, typical teenagers! 😂

1011y - that's a really interesting question. And one I genuinely don't think I can answer. I've got therapy tomorrow and I hope that together with my therapist I can help to make sense of things a bit.

There was learning that came from it, for sure, as in I realised that I felt really scared when I was feeling sick, my inner child was completing panicking and it helped that I could be my adult self and reassure my younger self that we were safe, and I would look after her. (Back story is that I have a very difficult relationship with my mum - she was/is very passive aggressive and unpredictable and frightening - and she would stroke my back when I was vomiting which I absolutely hate, but was too scared of her to ask her to stop).

I was able to work through some of my "worst case scenario" stuff - I could call in sick at work, I didn't have to travel by train like I was planning to, I wasn't letting work down, I could ask people to help me with stuff (like asking my exH to get the kids to school etc or even have them an extra night if needed), I was by myself and so if I needed to just sleep all day the next day, I could do that.

And I was able to manage it and get through it and cope with it, which is good.

I have a real problem with the physical sensation of nausea, though. I'm sure everyone feels awful when they feel sick, but it feels so awful it's like I can't function. I shut down. During the course of therapy we've discussed the possibility of me being autistic, and I suspect that is a possibility, and there are some interesting links between autism and emetophobia because of the sensory sensitivities of ASD. So I don't know if I feel worse than how other people feel when they are nauseous, but I've known other people managing with nausea so much easier than I do, and I do wonder if part of the emetophobia is how utterly awful I feel when I feel sick/am sick.

I am exactly the same about nausea, I simply cannot function. Also diagnosed autistic!

Interesting! Did the exposure therapy work for you?

Just as an addendum, hypnotherapy/remedial hypnosis has shown good results for emetophobia, especially for someone with your history (with your mum).

Glad you're feeling better.

It's a work in progress, but overall yes sometimes- I can talk to myself as though I'm my own therapist now- "you're feeling nausea because you feel anxious/are nervous/haven't eaten enough/feel worried and it's not dangerous, it will pass, try and stay present"

Just wondering what came out of therapy for you, and if the therapy helped you make sense of it?

It makes sense regards the younger self thing, I too had a difficult childhood and had issues with my mum which were traumatic which is where my emetophobia stems from. Im starting counselling next week for it and just hoping they can give me some tips to assist.

I think like you the nausea, impending doom that sets in is the worst bit for me. It's where I panic the most and shut down. Im also ADHD and struggle with sensory so I will make sure to bring this up in my sessions.

Im speaking to a GP later on regards some anti depressants or anxiety medications to help me cope as I cant face going to work or going out the house at the moment and its really debilitating.

emetophobe and almost certainly autistic here!! DF and DS autistic too

I didn’t vomit for over 20 years and developed a dreadful phobia of it. Over the last few years I’ve been sick a few times and my fear has got a bit better. When im sick I don’t actually mind it at all and I do think “oh, it really isn’t that bad!” but then time makes me a bit anxious about it again.

It’s a dreadful phobia. I don’t think people quite understand how debilitating it is.