Hi, I’m hoping someone can offer advice or even just a listening ear. I’m a single mum with no support network and I’m at breaking point.
In February this year my daughter suddenly changed. She made outrageous accusations at school which led to social services getting involved. I wasn’t allowed into work for two weeks. The headteacher seemed to side with her, and this all started because I took away her devices — she’d been on them all hours.
Then in March, it happened again. She went to school saying the same things after I found a phone she shouldn’t have had (I still don’t know where it came from). Again, the school believed her version of events and I was made to feel like a bad parent.
Since then it’s been ongoing:
When I pick her up from school she’s in a foul mood, sometimes hits her little brother.
When I drop her off she acts withdrawn and teary, which gets her attention from teachers.
She tells me it’s “kids at school” causing problems, but tells the school I’m abusive.
I have never been abusive to her. She’s my only daughter and I’ve always spoiled her.
She’s starting high school soon, and her brother is anxious about what she might do, as he’s well-liked by staff and has never been in trouble.
The behaviour at home is so difficult:
She’s told the doctor she wants to kill herself, no one cares, and she self-harms.
I found pages of notes with my name, DOB, calling me names, and even drawings of her hurting me.
She refuses to do basic things like brush her hair or get dressed without making a scene, sulking, or shutting down completely in public.
She shouts, lashes out at her brother, and turns nice moments into stressful ones.
Yet, when she stays with my sister, she’s happy, bubbly, and caring. She’s become obsessed with the idea that she’s adopted.
On top of this, my own life has fallen apart:
I lost my job because of the situation with her.
My oldest has gotten into serious trouble.
My second eldest is autistic and I’m still fighting for a diagnosis because he struggles so much.
I have no income, bills piling up, and school starting soon.
My own health is suffering, high blood pressure, diabetes and serious migraine due to stress.
I feel like I’m failing all of them. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and I don’t know what to do next.
If anyone has been through similar or has any advice, please help.