About to start psychotherapy for child abuse - what can I expect

[adelicatequestion]

Has anyone had psychotherapy for this reason. I have been diagnosed as having complex PTSD as a result of the above trauma.

It manifests itself in health concerns, panic attacks, fear and anxiety, compulsive overeating (god I wonder how I get out fo bed reading that!)

Has anyone benefitted/not from the above. It will include EMDR, CBT and sensory psychotherapy or a combination of these as well as traditional stuff.

Any experiences you have, I would love to hear about, especailly what worked and what didn't.

TIA

Thanks lady and fox

I am nervous of it but I know that to get to where I want to be, I have to go through it.

I have looked at reiki and eft but again have been scared to do it.

With the eating ladybebo, I have tried many diets and realised that is not the problem. For some reason I sabotage myself. On a logical level I know exactly what are the right things to eat. I eat all the wrong things and make really bad choices and my body is now suffering for that.

I need to sort my head out and counselling I've been having has helped me to understand the past and its a nice to go and talk once a week but I don;t feel its taking me any further forward.

My Dr suggested seeing a psychiatrist and having psychotherapy. I feel it is my last hope but after speaking to teh psychiatrist he is very confident that they can help me.

Lets hope so.

Sorry Ladybabo - called you ladybebo!

Just a quick check in. Have my appointment booked for next week

Yikes - what have I started?

You are doing a really brave thing and if you stick with it I believe it will work for you as it does seem to be working for me.

I had two therapists at different times in my life before my current one and they couldn't get me to talk about the details of what actually happened. I found it so hard to say that I kept finding diversion topics.

When I first went to my current one I was saying a bit more but still finding it really difficult, I just couldn't force myself to get the words out, so he suggested EMDR. I read about it and it looked really good, but the next week something happened which triggered me to react and really start saying things so we didn't do the EMDR.

A technique he got me to do which was really helpful was to write the worst bits on small scraps of paper in small writing and lock them in a lockable box. This was really hard to do but after I'd done that I found a bit more courage that I took my box to therapy and forced myself to read out some of the things from it. When I had said them once, it felt easier to say them again and talk about it more with Therapist next time. Then I managed to write letters to family members with everything in and I found I was courageous enough to keep it in my handbag and not in the locked box. Then I managed to let some trusted people read the letters and finally I managed to send them and say what I wanted to say to my family about what had happened. I now feel a lot better.

Each stage felt scary and I felt panicky, really panicky, but that is because child abuse makes you feel a lot of shame and you feel you have to keep it secret. The more the therapist and trusted friends tell you what happened was not your fault and the more you don't keep it secret, the less shame you feel and this is really important. Child abuse is NEVER the child's fault.

Also reliving it all by talking about it and facing up to how bad it was shocks you and hurts all over again, really hurts, and it is a really hard stage to get through but it is definitely worth it if you keep on with it. You could be difficult to live with for a while and find it hard to function as well for a while but I really think it is worth it and it is working for me.

Good luck and be kind to yourself. I really hope your therapy helps you.

ActingNormal

I've just had a flash of the obvious after what you wrote. I do exactly what you did. I'd think up anything to talk about except the abuse.

My dad came over the other day and I was so tempted to tell him I had been abused but just couldn't. I think I'm scared of how he'd react. Not how he's react to me but that he might want to after the man that did it(a neighbour from years ago and long out of my life).

Thanks for the positive words. Keep in touch. I plan to post on here about it.

Good luck ADC. I hope the therapy brings some relief for you.

hi, best of luck with it all. It's very hard going, but you'll be in a better place. very hard to talk about, but I just always hung on to the fact that there are some things you just have to do, no matter how difficult they are - just keep pushing yourself to be as up front as possible - noone is going to judge you for it. you might find that having managed to talk here it's a bit easier in real life. thinking of you - my situation was very like yours, though some other stuff as well.

Thanks for the positive vibes.

I am now able to talk about it, though not in any details. The issue I have is that I am very unemotional about it and don't really feel things in a normal way. I stuff them down (emotions) and then it comes out instress/physically.

I do that with things too, stuff it all down inside so it eats away at me. But it's such a long lasting habit that I dont know how to change it, and the thought of changing it is so scary, but I know I have to keep trying to. Good luck,keep us posted

Hello. I'm really glad it's beginning to work for you. I just wanted to add to the thread as you wrote something in your last post that really resonated for me.

You said 'I 'stuff down' my emotions.

I used to overeat too and I did exactly that. I stuffed food down my throat so it would keep all the emotions down there, weighted down. Therapy made a big difference to me; once I'd faced those bad emotions, they weren't so frightening.

I'm sure your therapist will help you through this - and good luck. I'm not a perfect 12 by any means, since therapy, but at least I don't self sabotage now

Vonsudenfed

sabotage is the right word. At my meeting with the psychiatrist those were exactly the words I used.

I rationalise that I am an educated and confident (in the workplace) person so why do I sabotage myself in this way. Everyone around me is trying to help and they must see it as me not wanting to help myself.

How did the therapy help?

yes sabotage is a good word

Still scared about tomorrow....

I have organised for the kids to go somewhere else after school in case I'm in no state to look after them straight after the appointment (due to finsih at school pick up time).

well done about arranging that childcare. A very good idea. I know you are feeling scared, but you are doing the right thing. Keep talking if you need to {{{{{{{}}}}}}}}

Good luck with it today. There will be some hard patches, but overall I found my therapy did really change my life - and in places I actually really enjoyed it. There was such a relief in putting my own story together and making sense of my life in a way I understood.

We never tackled my eating head on; but it did change, gradually as a result of dealing with all of the underlying emotions. And I don't comfort eat very much at all these days, very rare indeed. But what I wanted from my therapy was to break down my barriers a bit so that I was able to have a normal relationship. That definitely worked, as I am now married to a lovely man and have a delightful daughter.

I hope it works well for you too.

{{{{{{adelicatequestion}}}}}

Thank you all so much

I had the session today and it went quite well. Mostly today was giving the background. There is so much that has happened on top of the abuse that they need another session to get the history!

I am hopeful and felt at ease with the psychologist which is good.

Thank you for all your support. I will keep you up to date. If I knew how I could start a blog!

Once again my imagnination and fears took over and the reality wasn't as bad - though we havent; got to the hard bits yet.

Thanks

well done you!

well done!!

Keep talking here if ytou cant blog!

Oh I am glad that went well - and feeling comfortable with the psychologist is such an important part of it, that's really good. Onwards and upwards, as they say.

I don't know how many of you have partners...but if you do please include them in your therapy at least some of the time. My dh was physically abused (not sexually) as a child and it has created many adult habits that I had a hard time understanding. He has not repeated the pattern in any way (I'm in charge of disciplining the children), and the remnants from his childhood were not things that I recognized as being caused by his abuse. Until I dragged him off to a marriage counsellor to sort out a few bits and pieces (I'm on my second marriage and believe that it's best to work issues out when they are little nuggets rather than try to sort them after they have taken over the relationship). The first counsellor we saw continued to see him alone for several years and was extremely helpful to him. The second one was here in the USA and she was very helpful to me in our joint sessions. She pointed out that many of the behaviors that my dh had that were driving me crazy, were in fact caused by his childhood abuse and would probably not go away and that it would be easier for me to figure out how to deal with them rather than resent him for not changing. For example, one of the big issues I had was that when I reminded him to do things that he didn't want to do (but still needed to do), he would act like we had never even had the conversation. I would take this personally and felt that it was an indication of a lack of respect for me and our children. In fact, the counsellor explained that people who were abused as children often used forgetting as a mechanism for blocking out the bad things that happened to them and that they do it as adults even for the littlest things that they consider unpleasant because it's what they have been doing all their lives. So now, instead of getting angry or frustrated with my dh, I assume that he will probably forget and I leave him notes and send him emails as reminders. And I don't get angry when I have to remind him multiple times.
Sooo....if you have a partner, don't forget that they can help you and need to participate in the counseling process to do so.

Thanks SofiaAmes

A lot of what you said is also true for me - I tend to ignore what I don;t like and I think it drives DH mad.

Thanks for the pointer. I do share my sessions with him afterwards if I'm not feeling too angry.

Try bringing him with you for one or two sessions. It might be helpful for him to hear things from an impartial observer rather than via you.

Good idea. Maybe I could suggest it to him and the therapist.

He has been to counseling sessions in the past but it just ends up with us each fighting our corner and then he doesn;t come again.

Time for an update!

I have now had 2 sessions and spent them looking at my history and my current belief system. I have some wierd beleifs and have learnt soooo much about myself.

Next week we look at changing those old beliefs and then in with the new.....

It hasn;t been the emotional traumatic time I thought it would - maybe thats to some further down the line.

Hope everyone is ok

Hi Aselicatequestion,
goo to hear that things are going well..
I have my first assesment for NHS treatment coming up.
I have been seeing a psychiatrist for a few weeks now who recommended CBT to help me sort through the problems I have resulting from my history.
I am apprehensive but reading you message has made me less scared..
Thanks