Husband detained under the mental health act

[Concernedabouthubby]

Hi just that really. DH was prescribed sertraline for depression yesterday. He took a tablet yesterday and this morning, then went out and called the police asking for the children to be taken into care. I called the police immediately to go and find him which they did very quickly. They detained him under the MHA for assessment. I'm not sure what to expect from here or how this us going to go.

We are still together. I still have a low level sense of dread whenever he’s not with me. So many small things can send him spiralling I panic every time he gets posts or sighs at an email. In the early days I screened his post so I could manage any bad news but he’s stronger now so I don’t do that any more. I think it’s more a me problem now and I just need to learn to trust him to handle things rationally.

Hi well DH finally got assessed at 10pm and was sectioned, which I think is really for the best. I was shocked at the extent of it from what the social worker said. I was worried about him masking how bad it was and being released so I'm glad he didn't.
I was thinking of enrolling him I to an art for wellbeing course I've seen in November. I've also contacted prople he applied for jobs for to say he's currently unwell but would be open to employment in the future. Do you think thst was a good idea? I didn't want him to come out of this and then have nothing to do. Aldo, we were in the middle of a universal credit application. They said I need a fit note, but how do I get that??

Yes - please tell the school.

Tell his family too.

Would you feel safe if he were to be released and wanted to come home? Or would it be better if he went to his parents' home or to the home of a family member?

YYY to this.

DO NOT let them railroad you into anything that doesn't feel safe or any situation where you would have too much on your plate.

You have children. You have a job. I assume you have no medical training and are still in a state of shock. You are in no position to keep your husband safe or to be constantly alert to changes that might be significant (or worst case scenario to keep your family safe).

Oh op I remember you from the previous thread. I'm sending you much love ❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜

I don’t see anyone has mentioned this, but is there a concern for the kids? Is it possible he asked for them to be taken into care because he felt they weren’t safe with him? You’d have to factor that into any plans to send him home.

I think the kids are safe with him. I can't work out where the taken into care bit came from. He was worried about money then kept saying there was no food in the house. I got an enormous Tesco delivery that he'd obviously done because he kept saying there was no food for them. He said to the police he wanted to be away from them but didn't say he would harm them, so that's why they didn't come round. I will mention this obviously. I also work from home so will make sure he's not alone with them.

I feel for you, I went through this with my ex husband. Make sure you look after yourself

This sound's really scary and worrying OP. I have heard that the medication can actually make people feel worse before they get better - I know my DM ahead to watch a family member very closely for a period until the medication started working and it was a very stressful time. I am glad your DH is getting the help he needs and hope you also get some support going forward.

Yes we were told the meds would make it worse before it got better. He only took 2 tablets though so I don't know if it was the tablets or just that they didn't kick in. I don't want him home until he's at least thinking clearly and is not suicidal.

Right. Now that he’s been sectioned (does he have a bed yet? It’s just that those two things don’t always go together like you’d think…) there are some things you can do. As nearest relative https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/nearest-relative/overview/ you have the right to be kept in the loop to at least a minimum degree and much more if he consents. On the wards I work on, we try to get the “consent to share” paperwork completed on the first day. Once this is completed you should be able to talk to his psychiatrist, although if he was admitted at night, the intake interview will have been undertaken by night staff so it might take a few days for his consultant to meet him properly. Do ring the ward as much as you like; us nurses are always happy to chat and we spend 12-14 hours a day with our patients so we have a good idea how they’re doing day to day. Also check when visiting hours are, but in general psychiatric hospitals are much more flexible with visiting than physical health is. At the moment he won’t be allowed off the ward, but this will loosen up as he gets better and the ward gets to know him better.
As for courses and things, it’s hard to say as it depends on how unwell he is. The length of psychiatric admissions varies hugely but I would bank on him being in for at least a month (section 2s last up to 28 days) and possibly longer as antidepressants can take 6 weeks to fully start working. This is worth talking to his consultant about. My instinct is to reduce any pressure as much as possible.
Do claim UC. Fit notes and proofs of admission will be issued by the ward if you ask. I would also apply for the “incapacity” part of UC for him as he is unlikely to be able to work for at least 3 months, maybe longer. They can come and assess him in hospital.
I know this is a lot of information. Do inform the school so they can support you and the kids. Please try and talk to people in real life too. Mental health can be hard to talk about, but letting people in can be really valuable, and remember that the ward is there to support you too. Take care x

@JennieTheZebra thank you so much for your advice. They said last night that they would look for a bed nearer to us and let me know. I will look through those resources thank you. That's good to know that they will hopefully keep him in for as long as it takes for him to get better. I didn't want him sent home and then to get worse and me not be able to cope or just be too exhausted to keep on top of things and take my eye off the ball. My MIL is coming to stay on the 10th so she can visit him too. She's also very forceful and has experience of this so will be a good person to have there.

Yes, psych admissions tend to be much longer than people imagine. Of course I don’t know how unwell he is, but my instinct is that they’ll keep him on a Section 2 while he stabilises and then take him off his section and keep him in as informal for a while, all while trying increasingly longer periods of leave. You may hear this being referred to as “section 17 leave”; section 17 is the part of the MHA that allows his consultant to approve periods of time away from the ward. Once he’s doing better he can start coming home for overnight visits and weekends, all while still being inpatient so that the ward can step in if need be. I’m glad your MIL is coming to stay but I really hope you won’t need to be forceful. Tbh, the battle tends to be to get admitted in the first place. Once they’re in, all the staff just want them properly well again. That’s much better for everyone and prevents yo-yo admissions, iyswim. It’s good to have someone around though who knows the system as it can be a different world with its own language and conventions. People that work in MH spend so much time around this stuff that we forget how weird it is. If something is confusing or you don’t understand please ask. The staff should be happy to explain.

Thanks that's interesting. My main worry was that they would chuck him out and leave him to be dealt with in the community so a phased return would be ideal.
Thank you so much for the information. I think he will need a lengthy stay as he's not being prescribed his meds until they find a bed and they haven't found a bed yet. I did speak to him. He's still worried about home even though I told him I have everything in hand.

Op when you say your mil has experience of this. Has he been sectioned before?

No my late fil was sectioned and also suffered severe depressive episodes. It was obviously years ago but she also volunteered with mental health charities. She has been far calmer about this than me so far!

Ah ok,thanks op.

He keeps texting me saying he is going to die in the unit, and that he's not getting treated etc. I called the unit and they reassured me that he is with someone at all times and that if he keeps texting they'll take his phone off him. I didn't want him not to have any means of contacting me but now the day is over and I'm off work, the kids have come back from their first days at school etc I'm feeling very down and exhausted by it all. I think while he's not in his right mind I will ask for his phone to be taken away and just not engage. I can't really afford to fall apart myself 😞

Look after you
He is being looked after
Reach out to your GP and friends and family

Ask for the phone to be taken away , they won’t tell him you did, but make sure they don’t. You deserve a break.

Yes, it would be very sensible to ask for his phone to be put away. Or he might just drain the battery.

It might help him focus on his treatment too, when he doesn't have someone to share delusions with.

Yes that is a good point. He hasn't got a charger so I don't know how his battery is lasting so long anyway. He is in a ward but it's too far away for us to visit. They are still trying to find him a bed closer.

@stormingnorman Did you have children at home when your DH came home? I'm worried that mine won't be safe around him. What if he comes off his meds even a year or 2 later? They are teens, so not vulnerable toddlers but he is a very big man still. I'm worried he won't be able to live at home with them, or maybe he won't want to, I don't know. I can't imagine he would possibly hurt them but I bet everyone thought that.

Try not to worry too much about the future. He’s very poorly right now so understandably you’re concerned, but you’ll get a lot of support from the ward when he starts coming home. Remember, he’s still the man you married, just not very well right now, but hopefully he’ll be able to recover completely, especially as he has no significant mental health history. I know it’s easy for me to say, but right now you need to trust the ward and the process. The ward won’t give him leave/discharge if they think there’s a risk.
In terms of his phone, the nurses will be charging it in the nursing office for him. Honestly, we don’t like taking phones away unless absolutely necessary, but it sounds like in this case it might be. If he contacts you using the ward phone then just be kind, calm and reassuring. Everything is constantly monitored anyway and staff will step in if he starts to get too distressed. Hopefully his acute medication will start working soon but he’ll likely come across as a little sedated once this happens. This is normal and won’t last. Have you had a chance to talk to the consultant yet?

Thanks. You are right. I just need to see what happens. I know he's the sickest now. I've spoken to a social worker a few times. Do I ask for the consultant?
I might ask for his phone to be taken away and say he can contact me on the ward phone if he needs to talk.