What is a normal level of anxiety?

[used2bthin]

I have been very anxious about DD since she was diagnosed with a genetic condition aged ten days. I had a very stressful pregnancy and started to imagine all sorts of stuff then after she was born I really struggled through the first nine months or so as I was convinced I would lose her, had morbid thoughts etc. I saw a doctor at one point but didnt want to take the ADs she wanted to prescribe and gradually felt better. Generally I have always been ok in the day then panic at night. It comes and goes but is back with a vengence at the moment and I am increasingly getting very upset in the day too about all the things that could go wrong. I feel bad saying all this as I know there are people on here who have lost their children or in other ways face worse than me but I just can't get it out of my head how fragile life is. DD's condition is potentially life threatening but as long as it is well managed she should be able to live a full life so I don't know if it does relate directly to that as the scenarios I imagine are not always about things that could affect her because of her condition but I am always aware of how vulnerable she is. Also we spend time in hospital fairly often and I think every timne I am reminded again that she is vulnerable iyswim? Do all parents worry about "the worst" happening like this or does my anxiety seem over the top?I just want to enjoy her she is wonderful but even when she is being funny or something lately I catch myself thinking in a negative way and feeling sad in case all I end up with are memories. Hope that makes sense I am a bit superstitious about even talikng about it tbh.

Sorry, just wanted to re-interate, CBT will have a far better effect on this than ADs.

I know I said it before but this is something I have discussed a fair bit with my psych recently - what ADs work best for and what CBT works best for.

OK so you have been through a lot and many of your feelings are either justified or understandable but the point is it is affecting your relationship with your DD and those around her (you say you are too nervous to leave her alone with her father in case something should go wrong). That is incorrect and destructful thinking, something that would be highlighted by CBT. CBT would highlight all those incorrect thought patterns and how you how to get rid of them.

Other incorrect thought patterns you have mentioned here include...

thoughts / imagining something would go wrong during your pregnancy before you were aware of any problems - this was probably caused by the stress you mention.

Imagining 'disaster scenarios' on a daily basis

Comfort eating

Constantly anticipating the worst

A lot of people suffer with these 'incorrect thoughts' that doesn't mean to say they are healthy. If you feel less able to enjoy your DD and are having problems sleeping as a result of them then you deserve CBT for both your sakes.

BBM the sleep problems are caused by her waking atm but I do suffer from insomnia when she sleeps well sometimes too due to worrying about her so much. Or I start thinking of all the bad things that have happened to others. CoteDAzur it is reassuring to hear that others have the same thoughts as me! I am like that most of the time I think but sometimes I think of little else. It comes and goes. CBT is sounding promising though did someone say there is a website?

BBM you make a good point about deserving CBT for both our sakes I really do not want DD to grow up convinced she can't lead a ormal life. To some extent she can't as she will need to be more careful but I don't want her worrying I want her to enjoy herself and that will be hard if I am crippled with fear everytime she goes to school(oh god I cannot imagine trusting a school with her!)

Right I am off to try and sleep(dd allowing) thank you so much everyone you have made me feel much more positive and I am going to make it my mission to ask about CBT when I see my doctor next week.

All about CBT here - effectively you would come under post traumatic stress disorder if you want to put yourself in a box

free online course here

The times when you are thinking of little else but what can go wrong are the times you need to address - we all get those diaster thoughts and they aren't a bad thing as often you solve a problem before it has even occurred - as a result of mine I have a huge, elaborate plan of how I would apprehend anyone abducting my child from the local soft play area (I've done the full risk assessment and noted all possible abduction routes a fair few times, all at night when I could think of nothing else

Thank you BigBadMouse those links are great. At least your worrying has a positive outcome(a plan!) I can see your point that sometimes its a good thing, for example my car seat is always being checked at Halfords! To a certain extent I have to be cautious with DD, her consultant has always said its best to be over cautious with her really. I just need to learn to do what I can then stop worrying over the things I can't control. Interesting you mention post traumatic stress disorder, one of my friends mentioned that too.

Well good luck, whatever you decide to do - hope you get more sleep soon.