Has anyone read "A Life At Last, anxiety and panic free" by Paul David?

[ssd]

Im reading it after it was recommended on here but im not really getting it. Can anyone help me figure it out?

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Sorry I haven't read the book but I am bumping for you .
Book sounds good

Thanks

I'm familiar with, and have read, this book. What is it you're trying to figure out?

What hes actually saying. He seems to be saying stop fighting anxiety and panic and worry and my question is, how exactly?

He's saying that as long as you try to fight off the anxiety, avoid feeling anxiety, or find a cure, you will stay anxious. He says you need to accept you will feel anxious and do the thing anyway, because that's the only way to live, and the more you accept the anxiety and do stuff anyway, the more you will realize the anxiety was never necessary anyway.

At least, that's what I got from it.

Yes that makes sense. Im just struggling how to not want to fight it or avoid it.

It won't happen overnight, it will take time to 'unlearn' habits and response. Anxiety lies, that's the crux.

A practical example is response to physical symptoms. When you feel the symptoms of anxiety, instead of looking for an escape, you stay where you are. Instead of tensing and gripping your seat, you relax your shoulders and you sit back. It's a paradox, you have to do the opposite of what your mind/body is telling you (because what your mind/body is telling you is a false alarm).

Avoidance is the same principle. You have to resist the urge to relieve your symptoms by avoiding, because avoiding only worsens your symptoms (by 'confirming' there was something to fear). Instead of avoiding, you take the risk. You always take the risk (and each time you do, you learn there was nothing to fear).

The theory is very simple, putting it into practice is the hard part - ie doing the opposite of what your anxiety is telling you.

I've read this book and can confirm above posters take on it

It's the only practice that I've learned that has got me out of the panic cycle, it is very hard to put into practice but you eventually get there you just have to let time pass and not get caught up in the how long this is going to take that will be going through your head, you get stronger by living your life in spite of the fear

I'm in a bit of an anxious cycle at the moment again but if I didn't learn this previously I know I would be worse off like I was originally

Hey. This post has caught my interest. I totally agree that trying to fight off the anxiety doesn't work and that just sitting with it and trying to get on with what you would be doing is the way to go. BUT!
This is a question I've wrangled over for a while. As an OCD (intrusive thoughts) sufferer I worry a lot about the past.
I totally get that if you worry about 'did I turn the oven off' you then get home later to see that yes it's all good.
What do you do if like me you have thoughts such as 'did I run that cyclist over 6 weeks ago'.
Deep down I know it's the anxiety and OCD, I find anxious thoughts have feel to them. But I'm never going to have that getting home to see the oven is off moment. How do you cope with that?
Probably works the same for people with health anxiety or worries about the future. There will always be that possibility you may be I'll next week, next month, next year.
Is it just a case of managing it to the best of your ability and accepting you will always be an anxious type??🤷‍♀️

The book seems to say if you accept you will be anxious and keep living your life then the anxiety eventually gives up on you so to speak, and leaves you alone.
I'm specifically worried about health anxiety. The only thing that helps me is when a dr says I will be ok. I think worrying about a health symptom is different from other anxieties. I'm at the age its better to be checked out rather than leave it. So I'm anxious until I'm checked out, however long that takes.
I'm struggling to marry the anxieties i have with this book.

I don't think it is much different.

Let's think it through. Person with standard anxiety is terrified that their flight might crash. They accept that they are scared but logically it's unlikely but possible that the plane will crash so they get on the flight anyway.

Person with health anxiety is terrified that their headache is a brain tumour/ mole is skin cancer. They accept that they are scared but logically it's unlikely but possible that they do actually have a brain tumour/ skin cancer, so they decide not to go to A and E/ ring the GP that day but decide to go about their life and re-evaluate their headache /mole in the following days.

The thing with health anxiety and other types is that there is always a nugget of possibility that your anxiety was right, and your plane will crash/ your mole is cancerous. But 99.9 percent of the time that isn't the case especially with health anxiety where you have become hyper aware of your body or your child's body and are over analysing and catastrophising every symptom.

It's the same in that your way of making the anxiety go away is to get a doctor's opinion. But 99.9 percent of the time there wasn't anything seriously wrong and it was your anxiety telling you you needed that expert opinion. This method is trying to get you to hold off on seeing the doctor for every twinge, but to live with it for a day or two and see if it really needs a medical opinion.

Of course medical emergencies do exist. My happy middle ground is to try to be logical and occasionally I seek an opinion somewhere like here as a first step (did so this weekend with my son actually. Ended up not needing to see the doctor and he's fine now).

At least that's what I think.

That does make a lot of sense @Toasticles.
Making a gp appointment is automatic for me, the minute my anxiety flares up. I just go into ultra panic mode. I completely over catastrophise every symptom. I want to get to a place where i dont.
But im scared to not get everything checked out incase i have something serious. Yet i know constantly wanting checked only tells my brain its serious and i should worry.
At the same time i avoid any mention of cancer whether its on here, on tv, in a book, at work etc.
Im terrified of it. More so than anything in the world. And i dont know how to rationalise this fear. Cancer seems to be everywhere, its like im waiting my turn and terrified of every symptom.

So how many of those multiple doctor appointments revealed that you have cancer or other serious illness?
How many of those times, in retrospect, did you not actually need medical intervention?

Being completely rational, let's say you have a headache and are convinced it's a brain tumour. Waiting two extra days to see the GP won't make any difference in the long term if it does turn out you have a brain tumour. But in 95 percent of cases, drinking some water, taking paracetamol and having a rest will mean that 2 days later you don't have the headache any more and no longer need to fear the brain tumour or make that appointment. And even if you do still have the headache 2 days later and get checked out subsequently, the chances are much higher that it's eye strain or blood pressure or dehydration or something equally treatable.

I think it's a matter of thinking "I will call tomorrow if it's just as bad, in the meantime I can do xyz self care. It's far far more likely not to be a brain tumour and this is anxiety talking".

Yes you are right. Multiple drs visits in the past x amount of years and for nothing, thankfully. And a recent blood test came back all normal.
I sometimes wonder if one of my problems is I've very rarely been ill. Touch wood i keep fairly healthy. I dont smoke or drink and i try to walk or swim when i can. I do need to loose weight but i eat when im too emotional and my moods are very up and down. But I'm nearly 58 and so far I've been fine.
My main issue is my anxiety over getting cancer.
But I'm telling myself "anxiety lies", as another poster said. I do believe this. I may have something one day that all my anxieties haven’t helped and I'll need to get on with it, same as everyone else. I've got a good dh who never worries and just wishes i could lose this debilitating anxiety, as it adds nothing positive to my life.
I'm still reading the book mentioned and will try to put it into practice. It makes sense. Just need to get my brain to listen.

Just know you're not alone.

I'm going through a dreadful time.

Eckhart Tolle kinda helps me his videos. At least to ground myself.

Xxx

Playing devil's advocate....is it possible that when and if you did have a serious symptom, your doctor would be more likely to dismiss your symptoms as "just anxiety" in view of your history of repeatedly attending for minor symptoms and fear-based appointment making? And possibly be more likely to reassure you instead of running tests?

Sending good vibes to you op.

Oh gosh i hope not. I always mention my anxiety and hope I'm not wasting their time. So far the GPs have been really nice and tell me there's many people like me, its not unusual, especially since covid.

I'd hate to think they were just paying me lip service.

There is a follow up book to this one I'm talking about, called "At Last A Life And Beyond". I'm trying to buy it but its extortionate! Its over £100 on amazon and close to that on ebay.
Does anyone else know how I can buy it?

Hi @ssd have you tried downloading the DARE app & book? It works on the same type of principle & you get lots of free listen to exercises that help with health anxiety & ways to cope with it when you are in a crisis & out with. I use it and it helps when my anxiety is bad & when health anxiety rears its head. I recommend it as it helps me navigate it quicker than previously without help. Check it out seems if it suits you. I hope you get some relief soon.

OP, this approach is also written about by the lovely Claire Weekes

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Claire-Weekes-Collection-Nerves-Essential/dp/9123783303/ref=pd_lpo_sccl_3/257-7544394-6705149?pd_rd_w=nsteA&content-id=amzn1.sym.448aab69-6fff-42b9-9d7a-f6325052a6f6&pf_rd_p=448aab69-6fff-42b9-9d7a-f6325052a6f6&pf_rd_r=ESM3WRZE4P1EE8JX2DTY&pd_rd_wg=Ws2La&pd_rd_r=713218e4-cce5-487f-ab81-3f331cc83bc3&pd_rd_i=9123783303&psc=1

Much cheaper!

I think the idea is that even if you did have something wrong with you, that level of anxiety isn't necessarily appropriate. My husband did have one of the things you fear the most but worrying didn't change anything, having surgery and interventions and then accepting life and enjoying it was the only way forward.

At the moment, you are wrecking the life you do have in anticipation of things that might happen- even if those things happened, that's not something you can control by worrying about them today!

I have used Claire Weekes books after a breakdown and found them gentle and reassuring, ultimately though, proceeding through your life with your anxiety by your side and not trying to run from it or avoid it (which doesn't work and just amplifies the anxiety) is her approach. If you had a test at the GP's, you don't stop worrying, you just start worrying about the next symptom or the new thing, then need a test for that, then have that and worry about the next one- it's about breaking this cycle. She's wonderful, and compassionate, which is how you need to be towards yourself.

Thank you so much

I have ordered Paul Mckenna book on anxiety, i hope he manages to hypnotise me or something!!