What prevents you from seeking mental health support e.g. counselling or a psychotherapist?

[Decoupage]

I've been in therapy for three times and each time found it invaluable so I am wondering what the barriers are to seeking mental health support? I think there are some obvious ones like stigma, shame and justifying investment in self over others. Of course that assumes that you are at a stage of knowing it would be good to get the support. Would you share what it is for you?

[Moonlightsonatas]

It’s just so much work. Finding a therapist takes work and time and money. Then if you don’t click with that therapist you feel stuck due to the time and effort it’s taken. Therapy has never really “worked” for me, I just find it frustrating.

[Abby212]

I struggled with bouts of feeling depressed. But I wasn't actually doing anything about it. I told myself I was depressed and that it wasn't fair and it was a brain condition (no brain scan will show depression). So I changed my mind set. It wasn't easy but it was never going to be easy. Every day I made a conscious effort to pull myself out of this hole. I woke up early, Made myself presentable and felt good. I listened to encouraging motivational speeches on YouTube. I ate well. I slow came off my meds and took magnesium, zinc and fish oil. I started exercising and walking. I completely changed my mind set and vowed not to be a prisoner to my own mind. It wasn't easy but I fell in love with the process and the hard work that I put into it. No drug or therapy can do that. It has to come from with in. I have bad days and I haven't had an easy straight forward life but I am in control of my life. Hope this helps

[WHID]

The cost. I desperately need it because I’ve been through so much trauma and horrible life events, but I can’t afford it.
I was under NHS mental health services, but it’s not good where I live. Very limited in what’s available.

[Decoupage]

Moonlightsonatas I agree it is really hard to find a therapist easily. It is especially hard when you don't know the modalities - its like a different language.

Abby212 sounds like you really developed some resiliency and I agree it needs to come from within. I think a good therapist can really help with that, great that you did it on your own.

WHID - the NHS is overwhelmed with the mental health need and they focus on short term therapy. Sorry to hear about your experience

[TheHardScab]

had CBT made me worse
I do not want my GP to know so will not seek any more help
cannot afford private

[Compash]

What @Moonlightsonatas said - it just seems so overwhelming at a time when you're already struggling to cope with daily life. Just picking up the phone or leaving the house can seem impossible on a bad day (and my DH works from home all - the - damn - time so I wouldn't feel safe to do it online) (in fact, I know I need to 'get out more' because I'm very isolated, that's half my trouble - it's just doing it seems so exhausting and daunting...).

And I don't know enough to judge what would be 'good' training. You get the feeling there are a lot of people who do a couple of night classes then set up as a therapist. I saw an NHS CBT counsellor for 6 sessions and she just chatted about her week then referred me to some online resources I could have found for myself. And I did a 'Moving On After Cancer' sort of course and they were lovely people but they just sloooowly read the materials off the white board, and I actually cried with boredom after one...

As an old fart, I immediately rule out anyone younger than about 50... that's my own prejudice... 😁

And I don't even know if I'd be a good patient, because I'm a bugger to mask... Coming from a shame-drenched family, I can't deal with vulnerability, so I put up a positive show and talk the talk and come across as a generally jolly little powerhouse... then I go home and crash. Which is the sort of thing a good counsellor could probably winkle out of me and that I should address. But I can't afford the £60 - £70 it seems to cost...

[LindaPen]

Lack of access. I've tried 3 times and haven't been called back, or the promised appointment has never materialised. Obviously I could have chased it up, but life's hard enough.

[Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon]

Believing that I will come out the other end on my own.
Believing that I am not worthy of that kind of help.

[MyLadyTheKingsMother]

Fear of opening pandoras box......

[XenoBitch]

Being bounced between services... promised lots and ultimately back with my GP. I can't afford private, and the charity sector only offer a very small number of therapy sessions.

[QueenOfHiraeth]

...because I don't know where to start, what I need, will it work or how to find guidance to answer any of those questions

[Daichead]

It’s never really had any positive benefits for me.

I had counselling when I had PND with my first baby many years ago and it just made me feel worse.

Then many years later I had a bout of serious depression and had CBT, which was worse than useless. Then psychotherapy - tried two therapists, one for 3 months, one for a year - and I honestly just felt worse. In fact, I pretty much had a breakdown after the psychotherapy.

I also tried a few sessions of bereavement counselling more recently and again, it didn’t help in any way at all.

Maybe it’s me?!

I’ve found meditation, exercise, creativity and antidepressants work for me. Therapy, not so much.

[glassoven]

The cost of it, nothing else

[Mouldyfoot]

Money

[DrawersOnTheDoors]

Money, really.

It's been tremendously effective for me, the two previous times that I've had it.

I'd absolutely love to have that reserved time to talk to someone at the moment.

[SevenSeasOfRhye]

I waited nearly a year on a waiting list to be given CBT over the phone that was so unsuitable it drove me to suicidal thoughts after two sessions, following which I cancelled it. I was told it was all the NHS could offer, and I can't afford to pay privately.

[Eyesopenwideawake]

I don't know how many people it will help but the course on Udemy is fantastic in explaining how and why you think the way you do and gives you all the tools you'd need to counsel yourself;

https://www.udemy.com/course/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-online-course-cbt-practitioner-course/

[Musomama1]

So an affordable £30 one hour session with a qualified professional is a thing of the past, even outside of London, that's a huge barrier.

I'm glad you've found it's helped you. I had an excellent therapist for grief counselling many years ago, she was amazing.

I've had stints of counselling since for this and that and it just hasn't been that helpful. Sometimes there's a luck of the draw and now I'm quite skeptical.

There's a lot of blaming family/others and not taking responsibility/learning how to manage those relationships. I look back at some 'advice' I was given and actually disagree. There's limitations taking advice from people who don't really know you. I think that life is your biggest teacher, if you're willing to learn.

[whoamI00]

fear of judgement by the therapist

[AmaryllisChorus]

I feel fine now and have for years. But I had depression for about 30 years. I tried therapy very occasionally. I couldn't really afford it. It's such a lottery and you often feel you are handing over cash you can barely afford to a rather cold, detached stranger, in exchange for feeling awful about revisiting things that you find unbearable and can't express to friends, let alone some scrawny bespectacled man who stares inscrutably at you from across the room.

NHS therapy is risible and pointless. The worst I have had included a very young woman whose English was so bad I had to constantly rephrase my issues in very basic language. I spent more time thinking about what vocabulary I could use to help her understand than about my own problems. And she clearly had zero life experience. I was dealing with a very sick child, an SEN child being bullied at a school that claimed it had no bullying issues, very sick parents one of whom was a horrific bully, childhood neglect, autistic terminally unemployed spouse. I just felt there was nothing in the world she could offer me. I was the one accommodating her and I was so chewed up at that point by constantly accommodating every other person in my life, when I needed just one person to be focused on me and how I felt for a change. It felt like a real blow that I was the one helping my therapist, not vice versa.

Another NHS treatment was a sweet and clueless young woman online, who clearly had issues herself and was desperate for reassurance from me. She slowly and methodically asked every question she was supposed to ask on the tick box forms, leaving literally 5 mins out of the allotted 30 to ask how I was.

I had one good NHS therapist online. She didn't really listen carefully, she talked a lot, and mainly about herself and her own problems, all of which I know therapists aren't supposed to do. But she gave me one good piece of advice over six sessions which I still apply to this day. That was the best outcome yet.

Not once have I sat down in a therapist's office or faced one online and thought: here is an intelligent, empathetic person I can trust, who is wise and strong and can help me overcome issues so I can cope and live as I want to live.

Self help has been far more beneficial. And journalling. WIn the end, we are the ones doing the work. If I had £60-100pw spare, I'd get more therapeutic benefit from spending it on a ticket to a music or comedy gig, a massage or haircut.

[Irisginger]

Being further messed up by invalidating CBT from a not very skilled practitioner on an IAPT contract.

[Usernamewassavedsuccessfully]

I've done several stints of counselling over the last 20+ years which I don't feel really did much. I'm now at a point where I think I need to stop moaning and just move on. My issues are not nearly as big as some other people have experienced and I need to just get over myself. I hold a grudge like a fucking mafia don and no amount of counselling is making that stop so I just need to park some things and get on with life.

[Keepithidden]

Not knowing where to start, not having the time or money to seek out help. Recognising that there is no short and simple fixes and whatever solutions are put forward will result in fall out that would make things worse for others. Sometimes life just is a no-win game, and I'd rather be the loser than someone else.

[Fast800]

Lack of time, energy and money.

I’ve had counselling in the past and could probably do with some bereavement counselling but I’m not ready yet.

[steelwings]

I need counselling as well but struggle with (a) the cost, (b) finding the right therapist (have seen about three now and none seemed like quite the right fit) and (c) finding the time and place as session is usually 1 hour long and needs to be somewhere private where I won't be disturbed and can feel relaxed without fear of someone overhearing me (so has to be in the house).