Struggled with my mental health as far back as my earliest memory. Periods of my life where there was more stability I felt at my happiest but there has been an ongoing up and down throughout my life.
I had been on sertraline for approximately 5 years and felt normal for the first time in forever so slowly tapered off and was ok. Then we moved house and kids had to move schools etc which was a huge palaver and I was struggling again so went to new docs and got re prescribed. Felt ok-ish again, tapered off. Something else happened so went back to docs and they said I should go back on for 6+ months and have talking therapy.
Went to counselling for 1.5 YEARS and although it was cathartic to talk, I don't feel anything has changed about the way I am/feel. I've now come off sertraline again as I feel it is just masking who I am and I don't want to be on it (or any other medication long term) as it dulls my emotions.
I feel I have very strong emotions and that is my "issue" - I get super sad and cry easily at simple things, extremely excited, intensely happy, absolutely livid - every emotion is extreme to the situation.
What do I do now? I don't know that I necessarily want to live like this without knowing WHY I'm like this if that makes sense? If I go back to the doctor and explain all this what will they do? Will they say it's sertraline or nothing, can they refer me to someone?
Sorry if this makes no sense.