Panic attacks on dual carriage/motorways

[Lizbiz89]

I was wondering whether I might need some form of therapy. Basically 2 years ago I drove with my young children down to Devon and after a long trip down with loads of traffic I had a dizzy moment in the fast lane of motorway. It was like I wasn't in control of body and it petrified the life out of me. Since then I have been too scared to drive on motorways or dual carriage ways. I'm so sick of this and really want to be able to drive properly again. Can anyone advise how I can go about overcoming this? I also feel like I'm keeping this secret from my family as I'm too ashamed to admit I'm scared to drive to them. Any advice would be really appreciated.

Try a short, solo trip in the slow lane and build yourself up?

I'm the same and I mostly avoid it now. I think it is a visual issue like my brain can't cope with the speed and cars all around me and it does something weird to my head. It isn't uncommon especially in menopausal women apparently!

https://www.dizzinessandheadache.com/blog/how-can-bvd-impact-your-daily-life.html#:~:text=As%20the%20brain%20struggles%20to%20cope%20with%20sensory%20overload%2C%20people,driver%20of%20a%20vehicle%2C%20dangerous.

That's what I think it is for me

I don't get dizzy as such but it's like my eyes aren't working together properly. It's hard to explain!

I can explain what happened.

a long trip down with loads of traffic I had a dizzy moment in the fast lane of motorway

You had a lot of stress on you, plus the responsibility of the children, and you had a brief, but terrifying, moment when it was all too much. At that time a bit of your subconscious mind said (in therapy speak) "what the fuck happened there? I am NOT doing that again" so it set up an internal alarm to make sure you would never be in that position again. That's what's being triggered when you even think about motorway/dual carriageway driving, it's an over active self preservation response.

You can override this trigger by taking baby steps to tell your mind that it was a one off. Start by a short drive when you are rested, hydrated and on a piece of road you know at a quiet time. Do some box breathing to calm that panic respond and don't put any pressure on yourself. If that goes well build up slowly.

If there's still an issue then a couple of sessions of remedial hypnosis would resolve the problem.

I also get this - only on motorways and I've never found an answer!!

It started 13 years ago. When I'm on the motorway for a long journey, I feel a bit spacey, like I'm not there, for a few minutes. I feel it come and move to the inside lane - I'm not unsafe to drive at all - my reactions are okay but I feel very weird. If I can pull over I will but this isn't possible on a motorway.

I've experienced this. Started out of nowhere about 3 years ago. Unfortunately I live near two major motorways and really have to travel on them to get anywhere, especially to visit my parents, so I've had to do something about it. It's always been worse with the children in the car so I did a lot of practice by myself on short trips, starting with just one junction and building up. Then the first few times I needed to do a longer journey DH came too so that he could take over if I got too anxious. I also take rescue remedy spray. Having the radio on often seems to help. I try to minimise changing lanes and stay over in the inside lane as much as I safely can, although of there are a lot of lorries I avoid this as I think its lorries that make me most nervous, especially the ones that don't leave a safe distance.

It has really got a lot better and I'm not nervous at all on most journeys now. I did a lot of research when it was at its worst and read that it can be a manifestation of other anxieties, possibly even related to perimenopause. I also considered hypnotherapy which I read could be helpful.

Thank you so much for all of the replies. I feel so much better knowing other people have experienced this as well. I'm not pre menopausal but I do think it got a lot worse after covid because everything has become a lot more insular. I don't leave my town often now. I'm going to do what pp have advised and start with baby steps without kids. I absolutely hate having this fear. It makes life so limiting,

Yep, build it up gradually. Do one junction for a week. Then two and keep increasing. At the times you feel ok and relaxed, go as long as you can.

Don’t hate the fear, it’s there for a reason - to keep you safe. Acknowledge it but let it know you can cope, you are in charge. Once your mind accepts that, the fear will dissipate.

I've had a problem for years, so avoided motorways at all costs - I have this irrational fear that I'll slam my brakes on, so I avoid at all costs.

I am slowly building it up, am now comfortable doing dual carriageways, so going to try a short stretch on a motorway soon.

I know mine is an irrational "I wonder what would happen" fear, so I just need to tell it to bugger off!

That’s interesting @Eyesopenwideawake
I was wondering whether you are a trained psychologist as I’ve seen a lot of useful insight from you on the MH board?

I hear you all and feel this awful feeling and stomach tightening feeling when I have to drive to my sister 135 miles away . M27 and M3 . I talk calm to myself and actually leave home around 6am so the roads are clear and always on a Sunday and I return on a Sunday. I wish I didn't have this anxiety but it's always been there . I'm frightened of the lorries you see . I will be doing the journey again in the spring and already I'm feeling the fear . But I must persevere or I will end up not driving .

I agree with @Eyesopenwideawake the power of the mind is underestimated and your anxiety part is becoming the most powerful so you need to take back control.

I get it OP, my brain tries these driving tricks on me too and I'm a blinking ex driving instructor and member of the IAM. I have to drive up and down one of the most dangerous duel carriageways in the county almost daily and when my sudden and unexplainable anxiety around it almost got the better of me I very nearly quit my job. But by seeing it for what it is like @Eyesopenwideawake says I'm still able to work, I tell myself this is only anxiety and I'm more than capable of doing the drive safely. Interesting someone mentioned rescue remedy, we used to recommend it to nervous pupils about to take their test and it just seems to enable a lot of people to emerge calmly from the panic. With your situation it might need a few point approach, you could consider joining the IAM who will have competent people guide you through it. Anxiety is a bastard and it can try and get you anywhere.

I get this, reading this is even making me panic a bit! For me it started when there was a huge lorry behind me too close and I was in a lane turning off to join another motorway, that had a huge bend, and suddenly my arms froze and I couldn’t turn or brake, or anything, I was just frozen panicking that I was going to crash with the kids in the car. It was terrifying. Ever since then I get that dizzy feeling you mention. It’s a panic attack and I think you need to ‘ground’ yourself, deep breaths etc. Start with a short, solo journeys, show your brain you’re fine. Overcome it. Avoidance will just make it worse.. I can’t do it though, I’ve gradually told everyone I won’t drive on motorways as I can’t bring myself to anymore.
Id also recommended those rescue pastels, I use them for driving in general!

@Beach2lion thank you. I’m a qualified CONTROL System practitioner (and workshop presenter) so these are the sort of issues I work with on a daily basis.

@Phoenix76 I know anxiety feels like a bastard but always bear in mind it’s trying to do (what it thinks) is the right thing in order to keep you safe and happy. Imagine it as a scared child who’s clinging onto mums hand and trying to stop her doing something the child believes to be dangerous. Always speak kindly to your emotions but let them know your adult, rational mind is in charge.

Mine is definitely triggered by speed and the when there is no exit off the road so some 60 roads can make me panic as well. I'm very much a person who believes in facing fears but this is one fear that seems to be crippling me. Especially as no one knows about it either.

I’m the same with 60 roads too. I went on one recently and got a bit panicky but kept doing deep breathing and telling myself I could always pull over if I have too. Also chewing on rescue pastels. I think the problem with motorways/ dual carriage ways is you can’t really pull over but have to keep going to the exit!

I have just recently started panicking on the dual carriageway to drive to work. I'm 65 and it's just came from nowhere. A pure panicky feeling comes over me and my hands start sweating. This is in the inside lane, I'm not even overtaking! All I want to do is slow down, but you can't drive at 30mph on a 60mph road! I'm that scared I've started just driving on 30mph roads to work.

I have the same issue and would like to be able to drive on dual carriage ways and motorways again. I would get the same dizzy feeling, then full blown panic attack with tunnel vision, fast heartbeat and sweaty hands. @Lizbiz89 did you manage to get over it? @magsmfc have you found something that helps?

I agree, it's a spacey floaty feeling. You get it more at high speeds. I quite like it tbh and like you say, I'm perfectly safe. My reactions are fine, I'm paying attention and not zoning out. It's just like you're hovering, almost. Like you can't feel the road under you. The faster you go, the more it feels like that.

Maybe you shouldn’t be driving at all?

I get this. It a terrifying. I think it can be a combo of things that trigger it the beat in some songs, too many cars, feeling like I'm having to go to fast etc.etx

But I do sometimes have to go on the motorway. I now tend to stick in the slow lane chugging along behind the lorries and I leave a big gap. I find it helps only having moving cars on one side. I used to like the reassurance of a hard shoulder but they have mostly been phased out.

If I do overtake a lorry I find my moment put my foot down and get back over.

It takes longer but not as terrifying.

Could you afford a couple of motorway driving lessons with an instructor?

I haven't found anything yet to get over it. I am now retired and just sticking to minor roads.
What about you?