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Mental health

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Original poster

It's just hit me, DS3 is never going to have the same sort of relationship with DH that DS1 and 2 have.....

33 replies

FAQ · 26/02/2008 23:26

because of us splitting up. He's only 9 months old and so hasn't really had the opportunity to "bond" with DH like DS1 and DS2 have. Obviously it's going to be different for them too - but the "ties" are already there.

I'm in tears here now as DS3 (my longed for 3rd child) isn't going to get a chance to form those same sort of ties as his older brothers

OP posts:

FioFio · 27/02/2008 09:55

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

FAQ · 27/02/2008 10:21

I know looking at it objectively DS1's behaviour was just DS1 being a 7yr old but that doesn't make me feel any better

OP posts:

skyatnight · 27/02/2008 10:24

That's what everyone always says to PinkChampagne, but she can't help worrying.

I think it comes with being a mother, to always question/judge yourself all the time.

Original poster

FAQ · 27/02/2008 10:31

I suppose.....

Mind you one advantage to DS1 being a br*t this morning was that it disturbed H - so he got up before DS1 went to school which was lovely for DS1 as because of H's working/sleeping pattern he doesn't usually see him except at weekends - and even changed DS3 .

OP posts:

skyatnight · 27/02/2008 10:40

That sounds good/positive. One advantage of these situations can be that you all stop taking each other for granted.

KacyB · 27/02/2008 10:46

Listen, I just wanted to say...

My DH and his ex-wife split up when their kids were 3YO and about 6months old.

He had moved out of their house completely by the time the little one was a year old.

His kids are 10 and 13YO and they have a WONDERFUL relationship with thier father - the little one even more so. We call her mini-me (because she is so like her dad) and the two of them spend great times together.

Yes, of course it's different to if he and his ex-wife had stayed together, but that's not to say it's worse....... He and his ex fought all the time (still do, if they have to spend any time together) and I actually believe his girls have benefited from having a happy mum and dad.

I'm just saying, it can work out.... He sounds like a good dad, and that won't change.

Original poster

FAQ · 27/02/2008 10:53

Thank you Kacy - I guess it stories like that I need to hear

OP posts:

skyatnight · 27/02/2008 11:40

That's a great example of things working out, Kacy.

I know you have a thread in Lone Parents, FAQ. Perhaps you start another thread there, and in Step Parenting, for more stories like this?

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