My daughter says she wants to die, she is only 8 :(

[bluejelly]

Is this 'normal' childhood anxiety? She is generally a very happy well-balanced, cheerful child. But she has said several times that she would rather die than live. She gets very worried about the world ending/the sun turning into a black hole etc
Also climate change
I reassure her plentifully, give her hugs etc but tonight she seemed so 100% calm and convinced about it I burst into tears.
I cried then she cried, I reassured her that it was okay to be frightened about the future but that really there was no need. She calmed down and so did I and now she is asleep. But I wonder now if this is normal 8 year old behaviour or is my daughter deeply miserable and even suicidal at a young age?

Another one - all similar ages.
read this

And pelvicfloornomore, I think you are right, she is developing an understanding of death which is probably what is freaking her out. We aren't religious so there is no reassurance for the hereafter, as it were.

Thanks for the links to the other threads. Doesn't sound like we are in the same boat but good to know where to get support if things get worse.

Feel dreadfully sorry for people who are going through worse situations.

Bluejelly, I started the last thread as my ds often talks about wanting to die and I find it really scary - although as UnderRated said, it's a different set of circumstances and if your dd is normally sunny-natured, that's a positive indicator. I can remember being obsessed with death when I was young and having dreams about just everyone I knew dying; sounds from what other posters have said that this type of fear isn't uncommon. I think it's very hard to get the right balance between trying to protect children from hearing about the most awful things in the world before they can understand, yet not denying that bad things do happen so that they can learn to face their fears.

I was about to post about Youngminds, but it is on the other thread with a link.

Thanks overthehill. I have always been open and frank with my dd about death and the world's problems, tho in what I thought was an age appropriate way, as I was told myself by my mum. Maybe I have been too open and frank tho .
Am really hoping just a phase, she is genuinely a very happy child full of beans etc

I hope your son is doing okay and it's also a phase for him.

Children of that age find it hard to look ahead all you can probably do is keep talking to her and make her feel special. It's probably also be worth a chat with the school nurse most schools in the UK have one attached if not then your HV at the very least they can offer you advice and support.

Kaz we don't have a school nurse and haven't seen a hv since she was about 2! Maybe I will mention to my gp. Thanks

I trained as a children's nurse and from what I understand (being pregnant my brain has turned to cotton wool) most areas have a nurse attached to several schools (was only 2002 it was supposed to be being extended to all schools in all areas) so it may be worth asking they are often the ones who do the health checks hearing, eyes, and now I believe height and weight. We also went around to all the parents induction evenings and did the nitt talk

They are often really helpful because they are purely child/family centred, they can spend time with YOU rather than just giving you a 7 min slot as GP's do and because they have really rapid access to paediatric community services if need be.

You HV has responsibility for all children up to the age of 16 so although you have not seen her it is worth contacting her They also concentrate far more on emotional issues and supproting families than they did.

GP's are great too but they are usually not specialists and they never have enough time so you can feel rushed.

Good lick and keep your chin up. Believing your kids are unhappy is horrible you just feel so ......

Just a quick update: I have found out the root of my dd's fears: Ice Age 2!
Apparently it is full of doom and gloom, ice caps melting etc
We had a long chat last night about how it was just a story and also that the media often portrays nightmare scenarios in order to get people to change their behaviour, but that doesn't mean that all will come true and there is plenty we can do to make sure they don't.

I have also been thinking about her general demeanour and talking to others. I have no doubt that she is a happy kid and shows no other signs of depression.

I am going to monitor her viewing more carefully in the future and keep reassuring her that the end of the world is not nigh!

Anyway thanks for all your help and advice ladies, much appreciated.

I used to really worry about the future and felt life was very hard and bleak - I think it's very normal. As a way of reassuring my 8 year old I have told her she can live with me forever!! She seems to like the thought at the moment but I know she'll soon change her mind. My 10 year old however is another matter and has said she wants to die so I have been speaking to a family advisor at school who has been trying to help and I spoke to the school nurse. Knowing that you are not alone in trying to deal with the problem would help.

oh didn't read all the threads - I guess it's normal for it to be triggered by something they've heard or seen!