Recovering from Psychosis and managing symptoms

[NotQuiteUsual]

First things first I have professionals working with me(as much as is possible, MH support is hard to come by and half of them have been lying about me).

I'm trying to recover from Psychosis, I'm trying so hard. Everyday I'm trying to push myself back to normality a little further. I'm taking breaks, keeping up with medication, taking exercise, keeping busy. Doing everything I've been told to do. But it's been months and I'm still not me again.

The hardest part is knowing my daughter isn't my daughter anymore. Everyone has told me she is. They say it's just a symptom and it's not true, but even if they say it's not true it is true to me. I hide that I know from it, because if everyone else is right and I'm wrong the consequences would be unthinkable, plus no one else can tell anyway right? So if I say anything suddenly I'm the bad guy, not it. It's like she's there and totally normal but I know it's not her and I can't get her back. But in expected to just carry on like normal by everyone. I can't do it! I don't see the MH people till Friday and I don't trust them anyway. The Crisis team are awful and liars. My GP even agreed they lied, so it's not just one of those things I know differently from everyone else.

I feel like I'm falling apart and no one will help. Has anyone else recovered from Psychosis, how long did it take??

I have loads of energy today too. I cleaned did laundry, walked the dog, ate, drank, did the dishes and did a yoga session. Plus downtime with relaxing video games. I've paced the day well. Its almost like before today.

I thought I'd update incase anyone found this in the future.

I'm on a therapeutic dose now of antipsychotics and it's helping so much. The side effects from them are severe but easing as time goes on. I'm a different woman than who I was before all this happened. I'll never be the same as before. But life is manageable now. I can do the school run which is great.

The things I knew before the tablets worked don't feel real anymore. It's like the tablets shut off your ability to perceive higher things. Eventually I hope to forget what I know so I can feel normal about those things. I don't think a full recovery is necessarily possible. But a recovery is definitely happening, I just have to see how far I can take it. Feeling positive about it and slowly reintegrating into society again.

Good op. But remember it is a break from reality not really higher dimensions. Hallucinations and delusions. Your daughter is still her and always was.

Your updates are so, so positive. It's great you get on with your psychiatrist as it will mean you are more likely to continue to see them.

Many CMHTs run psychology sessions on dealing with psychotic symptoms. Can the psychiatrist refer you for that.

I'm a community mental health nurse by profession, currently on a career break. I agree that NHS mental health services are woeful and seriously underfunded. It's one of the reasons I'm on a career break. I'm fed up with arguing for more support for service users knowing full well that it's not there. Crisis services are overwhelmed as due to a lack of beds they have far too many on their books. I'm not making excuses for your poor treatment, just trying to explain it a little.

Take care xxx

That’s a really positive update NotQuiteUsual. You’re reading much more calmer and considered.

Not a comparable situation really, but my partner suffered delusions whilst seriously ill last year. It was scary for all of us, not least him. It’s been an ongoing road to recovery (physical and mental) that we’re all still on but he still doesn’t really grasp how ill he actually was. I’m not sure he ever will or that it’s beneficial to him to properly understand but I do suspect that if he found himself faced with someone else in a similar state it might click for him. It’s scary how much our own body and mind can get out of our control and comprehension.

The comfort is that there is treatment and support to find a way back to a place where your mind and body feel like your own again. Experience will influence that but the main thing is they’re comfortable again.

keep going, you’re on a good path

I know someone who experienced psychosis as a rare effect of taking steroids. It took her a couple of months to get better.

Thought I'd put what I hope is a final update here. I started my dream job last week. It's been so beneficial to me, it's something I love and find relaxing. I'm not there yet, but I can hold it together at work then collapse at home. I've improved so much all round. The Psychiatrist doesn't need to see me for three months now instead of six weekly. I feel in control of the thoughts when they come.

This week I've struggled a little at work, being overwhelmed. I'm hoping I can push through as it really is my dream job and the routine is great. Sitting at home wasn't helping me anymore. It was scary taking this step, but I don't think I could recover anymore without pushing myself. Anyone reading this who is suffering with psychosis, please push yourself when you can. It really helps keep you on the right track, don't allow yourself to wallow in it too long.

So lovely to hear xxx

Good to hear things are improving, they should have given you antipsychotic before! I have bipolar and had something similar with my granddaughter so you are not alone. That was 4 years ago and all has been ok since then, I love her to bits.

It’s lovely to read your update. Good luck x

Wow OP what a fighter you are! You have really not had an easy time of it. Well done for staying so strong and positive considering all you are dealing with.

Try to remember that some of what seems really real to you, is actually your brain playing tricks on you. It makes it hard sometimes to work out what is real and what isn't. Your daughter is still who she has always been, in that case it's definitely your brain that's been playing tricks.

If you trust your DH, now that you are in a better place maybe you could check in with him as to whether things are real or your brain playing tricks on on you. But only if it's not going to cause problems between you of course. He sounds like a good guy!

Congrats on your job, it sounds ideal for you!

@NotQuiteUsual thanks for your final update. It s lovely to hear that you are in a good stable state. Hope you continue to get better with your health and your relationship with your family. Well done for being strong for yourself and your family.

Bravo @NotQuiteUsual What a lovely update and what a strong woman you are! Enjoy your new dream job and hope you continue to feel better day by day. You fought a hard battle and came through, well done to you!

Thank you for the well wishes. Unfortunately it was too soon for me to start work and I relapsed badly. I left work and continued working hard on my recovery. I now get PIP and am using the financial breathing space it gives me to focus on getting better.

I'm actually doing really well though. We decided it's not the time for me to push myself with work. Instead me and DH agreed we'd get me working in the spring. Start of the new year my psychiatrist wants me to try coming off medication, so we're going to see how that goes before I work. If it was a one time episode I should be able to stay off meds, but if this is just me now I'll be on them permanently. They effect my cognition a fair bit, so the type of work I do will be dependent on it. I'd like to retrain, but won't manage that on my meds.

So not the happiest or saddest update. It's just the reality of it. I need to accept the woman I was is gone and the one I am now isn't capable of the same yet. I suppose it makes sense, I'm a new person and no one starts off able to do everything.

I suppose it makes sense, I'm a new person and no one starts off able to do everything

This is such a positive outlook and applicable to so many huge life events - I’ll remember this.

I’m sorry things didn’t go as planned with work, but given your resilience so far I’m confident for you being able to find yourself a better fit when you are ready. You’re genuinely doing such a great job of your recovery, if you’re not already proud I hope you will be at some point.

@NotQuiteUsual please accept to take time to recover. Give your brain plenty of rest perhaps try enjoy some simple tasks eg creative cooking, netting, colouring, walking or join a free walking group or craft group. Do you have peer support group in your area? You re a sensible person you will get there. Please take this opportunity to relax and rest.