Supported Living for 23 year old son

[SupportedLivingHelp]

Hello, I wonder if anyone has any advice - I have been around a while, but name changed for this.

My son is 23, autism diagnosis along with anxiety/depression. He's had long periods at work, but has struggled over the last couple of years and currently receives UC, including LCWRA.

There are so many things he wants to do, and moving out is one of them. I'm terrified for him, frankly. He is bright, articulate, and completely vulnerable.

He's been looking at 'supported living' places in our closest city, but there seem to be so many scams. I have enquiries out locally, but wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation and has any advice.

He lives at home, with me and we get on great. He's lovely. But I worry I'm essentially holding him back and he feels like a failure.

He's essentially just, well, stopped living, and is just existing. Things seem to get harder and harder for him as he gets older and I'm so worried.

It's not about getting rid of him, as a not so dear friend said recently, it's that I think having some independence, not having the super easy option of mum sorting everything out would be brilliant for him.

I'm sorry this is a bit garbled, but he's just taken himself to bed because a plan that was always going to be a bit 'moveable' has not gone the way he expected and he can't cope with it. And I am sad, so sad for him.

Thank you for getting through this.

Dear OP no advice I’m afraid but you sound like an amazing mum and wanted to send you a big hug xx

Thank you Ronnie, that's kind x

Hello OP I can't help I'm afraid but I'm in a similar situation with an autistic teenage son with complex mh needs. I worry so much about what will happen to him once I'm gone. He's incredibly vulnerable. I can only hope that supported living is an option for him once he's a bit older.
I do understand how you must be feeling. Hopefully someone with direct experience of supported living will post soon.

Hi OP, I work in SL and have done for a while (although not front line with people we support) the provider I currently work for is national as was my previous employer. Referrals are usually via a Social Worker in the Local Authority for this type of support but some may take direct referrals depending on demand.

I can't say whether your son would be suitable but I fundamentally believe supported living is an incredible set-up if done via a reputable and ethical provider.

If you want to DM me an idea of your location I may be able to recommend some providers to research / contact.

Thank you again Cazinge - and yes indeed Gtsr443 - it is such a worry.

Hello,

My son, now 24, has been in supported living for just over two years. The provision was arranged by a social worker from Adult Social Care.

He lives in an old house, converted into six self-contained flats. The support team (all trained in MH support, autism and learning disabilities support) are on site, and I attend support reviews (at my son's request).

We found it hard to find appropriate ASD specialist accommodation, but the placement came on the basis of my son's mental health difficulties.

In my son's case, and this is not the case with every provider, a prerequisite of provision in supported accommodation by the care providers was that the individuals had to have lived in one of their residential homes. My son had lived in their residential provision for three years. I must stress, though, this is not the case with all providers.

Fees are paid for by the local authority, with a small component paid for by my son, after a financial assessment.

Just like you, there was no question of me wanting to force my son to leave home. Rather, at 18 with incredibly complex needs, he could not thrive at home. He now has a team around him, works voluntarily, accesses a part time course, and will soon be venturing into paid employment.