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Anyone else with chronic depression actually managed to stay off meds?

38 replies

Beauregard · 06/02/2008 21:37

.

OP posts:
Beauregard · 07/02/2008 14:07

Also been given Diazepam (different drug type though)

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Beauregard · 07/02/2008 14:08

Reading your post again Bigbadmouse i think the other one was Citalopram.

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BigBadMouse · 07/02/2008 14:33

I was put on diazepam to tranquilise me while I had an endoscopy a few years back and it made me violent apparently . I remember nothing of it but apparently I thumped the doc on the nose and he had to go to A&E - so I guess these things don't all do what they should.

That is quite a list! - are they all SSRIs I wonder (daren't leave my computer to check my big book or the children will take control of MN )

Acinonyx · 07/02/2008 14:34

I have had many differents meds for short spells over the last 20 odd years, but been 'clean' for the last 3. For me, meds just seem to replace one condition with another. I think there is a line in the sand that when crossed you just have to do something to avert the crisis and continue functioning - but then that leaves me with a new problem and a state I don't consider worth living with long term. I rarely talk about depression anymore because I am so fed up trying to explain why I am not on meds. My problems may be due to being bipolar 2 - that nifty new popular diagnosi that wasn't around when I say my first psychiatrist. Mood stablisers unfortunately still require an AD adjunct so that has not worked too well.

It's hard. Actually, right now it's really hard and I'm wondering how much longer I can hold out. My moods shift - but this one isn't shifting fast enough.

I used to have a structure for this - exercise, diet, etc but that went totally to pot when I had dd and I really need to try and get that back. Exercise is really crucial and best done in the morning (but oh I hate it!).

So I think it can be done - but within limits. It's a rock and a hard place and I do get very tired of it.

BigBadMouse · 07/02/2008 14:36

Sertraline seroxat, prozac and citalopram are I know, not sure about Venlafaxine though .

Beauregard · 07/02/2008 14:37

Not sure either ?

I remember they had to do an ECG before they would give it me.

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Nemoandthefishes · 07/02/2008 21:17

venlaflaxine is what I went back on and made me suicidal.thing is first year I took it it worked wonders but they also had zispin at the same time.

PandaPoops · 08/02/2008 15:37

I've been off citalopram for a few months now but thinking I might have to restart them. My main reason for stopping them was trying to conceive which sadly I don't think is very likely now. We are so lucky to have DS after years of trying but I know I will find it very difficult to come to terms with not having another baby. After about 20 years of being on and off various ADs I've come to the conclusion that they are probably the lesser evil.

BigBadMouse · 08/02/2008 20:59

Pandapoops I have heard of a few people who have either conceived while on citalopram or are taking it during pregnancy (or both). I think some of them are on MN so check the 'depression' boards to find out.

I came of it to conceive but did read just before doing that that recent research shows it is safe during pregnancy. I preferred not to take the risk and you might feel the same but just thought I'd mention it.

TTC sucks

MelbourneMum · 20/02/2008 07:36

I don't have any wisdom to add, only some empathy as I'm currently trying to come up with every alternative to going back on them myself. I came off six months ago but have been sliding back down for probably three months and its just now getting back to that black-hole-not-coping-life-is-barely-an-existence stage where I was at when I first went on them.
I"m going to go and see my homeopath who assisted me in coming off them last year, start exercising regularly, try to get some 'me' time in the mix of work and parenting my two boys and trying to be some kind of a wife buts its bloody hard - and then I beat myself up for all these negative thoughts because I know they only create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sorry to rant and hi-jack, this thread is just exactly where I am at and I feel so so desperate about it

Miaou · 20/02/2008 08:49

pelvic, no personal experience but dh has been on citalopram since the summer, having had six months without it previously, and having been on ads for (I think) a year before that. He came off the ADs because he felt well enough to manage without them and was OK for about three months, then it was a gradual slide back to where he was before. I have to say I breathed a sigh of relief when he decided to go back on them as I felt I was "losing" him. Six months on and he is currently going through job interviews - ie he is well enough to work now. He accepts that he needs the ADs to function and that he may need to take them indefinitely now. This after many, many years of resisting entirely.

dandycandyjellybean · 20/02/2008 11:38

Been on and off ads since my early 20's and had a period of about 3 years before ds was born (now 2.4) when I didn't take any meds at all and 'managed' my condition by being very disciplined about keeping a journal every day, where i worked through how i was feeling, kind of in the 3rd person. i.e. just let all the crap flow out of my head and on to the page, and then 'spoke' to myself on the page as though my best friend had just said all of that to me, iyswim. This stopped all the horrible, nasty berating and telling off that I would usually do to myself when acknowledging my feelings.

Seeing it all on the page really helped me to do this, also it made it more real somehow, as though I was reading about something awful someone else was experiencing. It really helped, and if I'm really struggling with something now I will break off from what I'm doing if I can, and do this. However, it is very hard work and very time consuming, hence when ds was born, it all went out the window. Suffered an awful recurrence of depression, and after about 5 months decided to go back on ads as I had no time to do all of the above, and was hanging by a thread. My mother suffered on and off with terrible depressions all through my childhood and adolesence and I decided that if there was anything I could do to prevent inflicting this awful thing on my son I would, even if that meant accepting taking ads, maybe even for the forseeable future, which was extremely distasteful to me; echoing Miaou's post about resisting the idea of having to take ads for many, many years.

They aren't a miracle cure, it's true, but I recognise that I am a more relaxed, happier mummy (and person, too!!!) when I take them and so I do it for my son. In fact, it has been a real revelation to me just this week as I had to do without them after a mix up with my prescription, and it isn't until I started to feel really dire again that I realised just how much they help.

violinmum · 20/02/2008 11:55

first time poster-be gentle!
took variety meds from age 12 to 23; seroxat, effexor, cipramil, and during my pregnancy and breast feeding i took lexapro. it had the least side effects but i still felt like it was just numbing my feelings, i wasn't working through them. cbt is effective, but hard work at times. personal centered therapy has been a godsend for me, just time to talk things through in a safe environment. i try and think positive thoughts about myself and my life every morning. cubby, the journal sounds like such a good idea. off ads for over a year now, and while it's hard sometimes, i feel like i'm working through my pain and coming out the other side. i feel amazing.

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