Severe panic in 12 year old boy

[schoolissues1234]

Hello.
my son has always been the quieter / anxious side or things but we felt has blossomed in confidence / academically and socially in the past year and a half

He started high school about a month ago (Scotland) lasted a week and a half, seemed to be coping and then came home ill and it’s been a living nightmare ever since

.its like a switch flicked in his brain and he’s not the same person. Hasn’t been back in school, severe and constant anxiety and very extreme panic attacks over things he could previously cope with (small mistake in work, seeing a spider etc). The panic attacks are scary, he screams, cries, shortness of breath, rocks, sometimes goes vacant like in a trance.

In between he seems quite vacant too. Isn’t eating or sleeping properly and is down. Can’t bring himself to see friends etc.

i have of course been to GP and have referal to CAHMs but am wondering if there are other services I should try to access first, or while I wait.

has anyone been through something like this?
thank you

I completely agree.

Resilience isn’t taught by making anxious kids do stuff, I think it breaks trust and perpetuates anxiety. It’s taught with patience, support and love and that then slowly builds confidence and resilience. I’m not saying they should be wrapped up and not ever pushed but I’ve found with anxiety everything needs to be slowed down and taken at a different pace.

Even in the darkest, negative days I’ve always had a little feeling that everything will be ok with my ds but that it’s going to take a long time to get there. He has so many years ahead of him.

@Mydogisweird yes I'm now at that point to. My DD achieved good enough GCSEs 6-8s and she is determined to do well at A level. She wants to study medicine or biomedical science and I now feel she will achieve this.

Even though it’s horrible to hear of other kids in this situation, it’s also really positive to hear stories where things are looking more positive. I will look into what the local authority must provide. Although even getting my son into medical school for teaching feels a reach at the moment :(. I would love to DM either of you if possible? I’m sure you were the same but it’s having an impact on my own mental health too.

Did anyone consider Montessori or Steiner schools or something smaller, more relaxed settings?

(I’m clutching at straws!)

Yes my mental health has suffered but I think anything he goes through herein with you on his side being his advocate won't be as difficult. It's brought me and my daughter closer as we battle together now. Yes happy to chat but really not sure how to do it now.

My ds is at a studio school now. It’s only for yrs 10-13 and really small. Only 30 per year group. I would have happily sent him to Steiner or Montessori but none in my area but I think they would have worked well for him. I also managed to get an ehcp which I think is quite rare for anxiety and it took a year and one hell of a fight. It’s all completely exhausting.

The medical school came to him. He couldn’t get in to the unit they ran for at least a year, again it was a slow process. But we were given tutors at home which covered Maths, English and science. It stopped him worrying about being left behind. If he was up to it we also used oak national academy quite a lot.

classroom.thenational.academy/subjects-by-key-stage

Its taken a massive toll on my mental health, even now I wake up wondering what will happen each day.

I'm waffling now but please do dm me if I can help at or you just want to offload. I couldn’t have dealt with it all of I hadn’t had a friend who had been through it herself.

what is a studio school @Mydogisweird ?

Hi @schoolissues1234 sorry it’s been a busy week! I’m going to pm you.

So hard as a parent when you have a child with school fear and panic. Great advice on this thread.

@schoolissues1234 I have found our local Parent Carer forum to be a great source of support and knowledge. I think every county/LEA has one in England but not sure about Scotland. They are often run via a Facebook page. Making the mental leap to accept that I am a parent and a carer of my DC (DD1 got an ASD diagnosis just before lockdown 1, DD2 developed OCD and anxiety during lockdowns and has really struggled with school since then) has been helpful: I can be a bit kinder to myself when I feel hopeless/knackered/angry, and although getting any kind of prof support at the moment is nearly impossible registering as a parent-carer with e.g. local council can help with accessing some services.

Hi! I really hope you can get help from services soon...
Something small you could try at home which helped us was making a self-sooth box - like this: freshstartineducation.co.uk/time-to-self-soothe/ might be something that could help.