Please no advice, just a friendly ear if you have one.

[Lonelymum]

Don't really want to start this because I have read other people's threads under Feeling Low and they all have real problems whereas I am just a miserable old cow. I don't think there is anything anyone could say to cheer me up, anyway. So many of you have offered me advice in the past and I haven't been able to do anything to make a difference so I don't expect I will be able to now.
BUT, I am so lonely and unhappy and can't stop crying and shouting at my kids and I get no pleasure from anything except curling up in bed with the TV on. Yesterday was particularly bad. This can't be normal. Please don't advise me to take AD's because that is not my style. I don't really want advice at all, just a friendly ear to listen to my woes.

Thanks SS. It's the only one I will get for many a long hour (until dh comes home).

Just catching up on the thread about being left out of the in crowd at the school gates: I so wish I could run a coffee morning or something to raise cash for a charity, and invite people from school. Only trouble is, no-one would come and I would look such a fool.

Sorry you're feeling so down, I don't think you're a miserable old cow at all. I don't think anyone here would think that depression can be measured, or say that some people are more deserving of posting here than others. You may not feel normal, but the way you are feeling is common with depression.

I'm not going to offer you any advice, although if you do need it you'll find plenty of support on this board, but I'm thinking of you and sending hugs.

And a big hug from me too. Don't answer if you don't want to, but how long have you felt like this? Got to go out in a mo but I'll look in later. XXXXXXXXX

Lonelymum, if you feel that you want to organise a coffee morning then do it - it might make you feel positive about something. Don't worry about the people from school not coming, just invite them anyway and see what happens. Make posters and put them up on the school noticeboard as well, you are bound to get at least some people come along, and who knows you could make some good friends out of it.

The worst thing that could happen is that no-one comes, and you'd be no worse off than you are now. The best thing that could happen is that you meet new people and have a good time. Isn't it worth the risk?

It has been building for years and years, but I suppose it got worse when dh was made redundant last December. I liked having him home but then he started a temp. job which was a long way from home and then got a permanent one with the same problem in Sept. I just want to go back to how we were before, him working regular hours, a 15 minute drive from home. He is not the entire problem though. I am practically rock bottom in my self esteem. I would like a job, some friends, more money, a bigger house, a reason to live, apart from just waiting for the children to leave home so dh and I can be a couple again. Does this ring any bells with anyone?

How could I face people, knowing they didn't want to come to my poxy coffee morning?

Why don't you make in aid of a deserving cause that people 'like to be seen' to support. Then they'd feel bad if they didn't come along....

Where are you lonelymum? I'd love to get together with you. I read your posts and it sounds like i've written them

Zephyrcat - West Sussex, the middle of nowhere! How about you?
Welshmum (or anyone else) any suggestions? Don't have a pet charity of my own.

ps - glad my mole on the other thread made you laugh

on the hampsire/wiltshire border - bang in the middle of nowhere too with no motivation, no friends, no life!! - cant be far though - west sussex does our water bill

Well Children in Need is coming up and the kids at school might even be doing some thing for this too. I know there's info on the web (bbc.co.uk) about how to run fundraisers for Children in Need.
Or there are several ones that are in focus around Christmas - Shelter for example. But maybe something to do with kids would be best bearing in mind where you're going to do it - NSPCC or Barnados if you don't fancy Children in Need?

Should have added good luck with it all too - and they're miserable bastards if they don't join in!

I would think any charity which helps children is a good one to try and encourage mothers to come. Children in Need is coming up, as wm said, or there must be some local children's charities, hospices and so on that would welcome your support. And if people don't want to come to such a coffee morning, don't think it's because it's poxy, it's their attitude which is wrong, not yours.

Lonelymum - I echo Zephyrcat as so often I read your postings and hear myself saying "me too". I suppose Mumsnet is a bit like a coffee morning and loads of people take the time to respond to you so you would probably surprised if you did hold one.
And I'm envious that your DH hugs you when he gets home - mine usually opens mail and checks e-mail!

I have to confess, and probably no-one will speak to me again for saying this, but Children in Need makes me want to puke. It isn't where the money goes, but the ghastly Telethon that accompanies it each year. And I hate deliberately having my emotions manipulated which is what these Telethons set out to do.
I did co-ordinate fund raising for NSPCC in my former existence as a primary school teacher, so I do feel more positive about that charity. It's an idea.
Zephyrcat - I grew up in Hampshire and a friend of mine used to live in Whiteparish. Anywhere near you? Don't say if you don't want to. I know your area well, but no people there, so I am really not trying to fish to find out who you are.

at Children in Need Lonely Mum. Other charities have that effect on me too - especially anything to do with Donkey Sanctuaries or Hedgehog hospitals!

Perhaps I should say Yoyo, that dh won't be hugging me because we are SO IN LOVE but because I will be crying on his shoulder and being such a burden to him. I think my dh's ideal homecoming would be if the kids had been invited to stay the weekend with anyone, I was dressed in a negligee, I hand fed him some delicious dinner (not fish and chips as I always do on Fridays so I don't have to bother thinking about one meal a week) and then led him upstairs for rampant sex. Some chance, I'm afraid.

Even if I was dressed in a negligee with offerings of the other I think DH would check e-mail first!!

I was going to add, that after the kids have gone to bed, our usual evening is me in front of the TV (preferably curled up in bed) and dh on the computer playing wargames. At least checking one's emails implies social contact of a sort. What do you read into a man who plays war games obsessively? And he has already corrupted ds1 and ds2.

I live in Ludgershall - I think whiteparish is not far from here. I've only liverd here for 2 years and I hate it! I don't know anyone here and am too 'shy' to go out and meet people which is making me more depressed by the day!! Bit of a vicious (sp) circle really. Plus I dont drive so I'm really stuck here!

Should also say that the only hugs i get are for bursting into tears as well! And if the washing up isnt done or dinner isnt done when he gets in i'm lucky if i get spoken too!!

my dh used to play wargames on the comp when he was really stressed at work. I felt useless, but at least he was coming home and it was the way he felt he could relax.

it's better now and he doesn't play them anymore - just freecell endlessly...

thinking of you lonelymum.