Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Little things to lift you out of the shadows

57 replies

abouquetofsharpenedpencils · 10/04/2021 11:02

Feeling incredibly low due a number of difficult things going on in my life at the moment. I woke up at 3am and had a good cry.
I have a plan of getting back on track which usually works. This includes things like cleaning, going for a walk, watching comedy, having a relaxing bath with some luxury shower gels etc. I find structure really helps for me and setting small goals.
Just wondering what little things help get you back on track and lift yourself out of the abyss when you are feeling low? I could do with some new ideas Sad
Just to mention, I have been down the GP route before with medication and counselling. But I would love some non-medication /alternative ideas please.
Thanks for reading Daffodil

OP posts:
KeyboardWorriers · 10/04/2021 22:35

I have had some really "tough" patches and still have to deal with difficult stuff, so I get what you mean. Having easy to turn to "lifts" really helps

As well as the things you suggested

  • funny podcasts or uplifting ones ( I like some of the Ted talk podcasts)
  • spacemasks if I am exhausted but can't sleep
  • sheetmasks / eye masks /polishing my nails ( am not remotely glamorous but like little acts of self care)

It involves spending a little bit of money but I love my "feel good book club" subscription - a "feel good" book and some treats and the proceeds help fund the Samaritans. There is also a Facebook group to discuss the books.

A more time intensive solution and not one I manage very often but the other thing that really genuinely makes me feel good is volunteering to help with things. An adventure, a feeling of making a difference and a chance to meet new people and break up the usual routine. I volunteered for a sports club the other day and I was so nervous (am an introvert/have PTSD) but I got such a buzz from it! I volunteer for a Christmas event every year in early December and it always gives me such a festive glow.

KeyboardWorriers · 10/04/2021 22:40

Oh -making soup is another activity I find therapeutic. Lots of rage chopping and a healthy warming meal at the end of it

BlatheringOn · 10/04/2021 23:03

Just watching: birds in the hedges and trees, bees moving from flower to flower. When life is hectic I forget to do this but it is hypnotic.
Listening to Eguana's 'Deep Sleep' makes my breathing slow down every time.

Whatpaint · 10/04/2021 23:35

Yes do try the tisserand oils, definitely worth a go.

I have signed up to Audible following this thread and am going to download the Stephen Fry book on America for bedtime. Should be an easy listen and it won’t matter if we do actually drop off.

I find I am awake until 2/3am regularly with the mind whirring so anything that may help that is worth a go. So far we have found the adult bedtime story podcasts not to be great so looking forward to Stephen Fry!

daysofthunder · 10/04/2021 23:55

Yes to Stephen Fry's audiobooks. I recommend The Stars' Tennis Balls, The Hippopotamus, and Moab Is My Washpot. I'm so sad he never did an audio version of Making History.

I also like to light beeswax candles in the evening and get under a blanket whether it's winter or summer.

katy1213 · 11/04/2021 00:25

Flowers, especially if they're garden flowers rather than shop flowers.
Taking myself on a day out - even if it is just a walk somewhere farther afield than normal, and a sandwich-in-my-handbag picnic.

Whatpaint · 11/04/2021 10:23

We did Stephen Fry’s America book on a 45 minute timer last night, it was great! Interesting enough to keep your attention but it didn’t matter if you dozed and missed a bit.

Crikeymalikey · 11/04/2021 22:10

Writing, could be journaling or poetry or even just writing down small things that pop into your mind!
Arty things, drawing, painting, making new things out of old things, cross stitch.
Music is a saviour! I have to try not to listen to things that amplify how I feel though when I’m not feeling good.
Swimming alone if you have time.
Walking in beautiful places.
Cooking or baking. Especially when trying new recipes. I really love making fresh food for other people.
Organising things (not for everyone I know, but I love to put things neat and in order!)
Making some time to just be. To just rest. I always used to feel so awful if I stopped and wasn’t busy... now I find time just to be is super important to me to!

abouquetofsharpenedpencils · 17/04/2021 11:18

Thank you for all your lovely replies.

I am making a list of all the suggestions and have decided to try a different one each weekend.
Also, just to add, I found posting here really helped lift my spirits too Smile

OP posts:
KeyboardWorriers · 18/04/2021 00:00

Oh what a fabulous update Smile

What have you tried this weekend?

I saw my nephews which gave me a huge boost and tomorrow I am going on a big walk

Seasidemumma77 · 18/04/2021 00:16

I have a playlist of songs that can really lift my mood, which I play while walking by the sea.

I also find sitting on the beach, hearing the waves moving the shingle relaxing, and helps me relax and reorder my thoughts

abouquetofsharpenedpencils · 18/04/2021 16:06

@KeyboardWorriers Sounds great! I hope you enjoyed your walk today.
I have tried listening to classical music this weekend on classic fm. Some of the pieces made me very sad though and lowered my mood even more so I am on a quest to seek out happier classical music for the time-being, specifically for raising my mood if that makes sense!
I enjoyed listening to the radio and the friendly human voice, although the ads are a bit much on classic fm.
I will try radio 3 later.
Next weekend -baking! Cake

OP posts:
abouquetofsharpenedpencils · 18/04/2021 16:08

@Seasidemumma77
The sea is very healing! I wish I lived nearer to it. I do often listen to the sea and waves on the calm app and just have it on in the background.

OP posts:
Cowbells · 19/04/2021 09:21

Journalling helps. There are so many ways to do it. You can just dump all your anxieties in the journal, or you can fantasise a good day - a sort of creative visualisation fantasy as if you are already living it (must confess that one doesn't work for me - it feels fraudulent but some people love it) You can make arty bullet journal lists or bucket lists. You can keep tabs on any self care actions - meditation, exercise, healthy food etc.

I find it really therapeutic to make At least I lists in the journal. On days you feel you were a complete washout waste of space you write down all the things you did do, despite feeling low, and discover you fed the cat and the children, went for a walk, cleaned the kitchen or bathroom, ordered something online etc. Small things but they validate your existence. Without them, children and cat would have gone hungry, you would not have had fresh air and exercise etc.

The other fun project that usually lifts me out of depression more quickly then anything else, including medication, is doing something new every day. Anything at all. Just do it and then write about it in your journal - make a note of what it was, how the new experience felt and whether you want to do it again. Can be trying out a new recipe or scent of soap, walking down a new path or listening to new style of music. Or bigger stuff - visiting a new country, applying for a new training course or job etc. Once you start, you get into a habit of saying yes to things you might normally shy away from. I used to do it all the time - stopped during lockdown, but it changed my life in so many positive ways.

I really must get back to doing it.

inthekitchensink · 19/04/2021 09:29

Tiny mantra. Works for me when everything is so overwhelming and exhausting and the future looks full of dragons. I just whisper to myself ‘tiny’ and try to break things down into tiny manageable chunks.

Getting washed and dressed too much? Tiny - brush teeth & hair. Run a bath. Step in and step right out & lie down in bed.

Cleaning & tidying seems too much? Tiny - put 5 things away.

Books/films/tv too hard to get into? Tiny - 5 pages of book, 10 mins of a film.

And repeat. Gently gently Flowers

MintyCedric · 19/04/2021 09:34

Zentangle is great - it's a kind of stylized doodling technique, you'll find loads of info if you Google.

Fantasy holiday planning/shopping/house buying Blush

Dr Pimple Popper type vids on YT...I know it's grim they have an ASMR type effect on me (can't stand actual ASMR as I have misophonia)

Aromatherapy...in the bath, diffuser and candles...beware the Teaco knock off Woodwick ones though...I blew my nose one morning and freaked my self out as the outcome was charcoal coloured!

Baking/cooking and even just browsing foodie sites/shop

A really good book or audio book (Richard Armitage reading poetry is about as soothing as it gets)

Calm App...I really like the meditations by Tamara Levitt who is American but there are lots of British ones on there too

I also like the Liberation In Mind self hypnosis videos on YT. The guy who does them has a slightly strange voice (British) but you getbused to it and it's very soothing.

Binaural soundtracks on YT and Spotify also worth checking out

MintyCedric · 19/04/2021 09:35

@inthekitchensink

Tiny mantra. Works for me when everything is so overwhelming and exhausting and the future looks full of dragons. I just whisper to myself ‘tiny’ and try to break things down into tiny manageable chunks.

Getting washed and dressed too much? Tiny - brush teeth & hair. Run a bath. Step in and step right out & lie down in bed.

Cleaning & tidying seems too much? Tiny - put 5 things away.

Books/films/tv too hard to get into? Tiny - 5 pages of book, 10 mins of a film.

And repeat. Gently gently Flowers

I love this idea.

I constantly keep pushing and pushing myself to try and keep on top of everything and either end up grinding to a complete standstill or driving myself crazy.

Cowbells · 19/04/2021 10:13

@inthekitchensink

Tiny mantra. Works for me when everything is so overwhelming and exhausting and the future looks full of dragons. I just whisper to myself ‘tiny’ and try to break things down into tiny manageable chunks.

Getting washed and dressed too much? Tiny - brush teeth & hair. Run a bath. Step in and step right out & lie down in bed.

Cleaning & tidying seems too much? Tiny - put 5 things away.

Books/films/tv too hard to get into? Tiny - 5 pages of book, 10 mins of a film.

And repeat. Gently gently Flowers

I love it too. In fact I was really struggling to get started today and am going to use this to get through the things i need to do this morning. Weirdly it has just dropped my stress level, just reading about this approach.

Thank you @inthekitchensink

inthekitchensink · 19/04/2021 10:15

Love those ideas @MintyCedric, will be trying those thanks.

The tiny mantra helps after the depression lifts too - I use it when I can’t be bothered to do stuff too, like mountains of admin

KeyboardWorriers · 19/04/2021 10:55

Oh the tiny mantra is fabulous, I love that.

Cowbells · 19/04/2021 11:09

Wow. I've just bleached the entire bathroom, which had black mould, by doing the tiny mantra. Now it's sparkling and I'm going to have a long bath in it!

inthekitchensink · 19/04/2021 14:27

@Cowbells Yay to the tiny mantra! So pleased it works for you too

abouquetofsharpenedpencils · 16/05/2021 11:26

Update: it has been a really tough past few weeks and unfortunately I slipped into the abyss. However I’m just emerging , got my foot on the bottom rung of the ladder.
I’ve just spent 10 minutes rereading all these lovely posts and suggestions and I’m beginning to feel hopeful again.

I bought the Tisserand roll-on oils and absolutely love them especially “breathe deep” which smells divine. It really helps me have a mini Zen moment in the middle of a chaotic day. Thank you @Whatpaint

Also love the tiny mantra! @inthekitchensink
It has been very helpful for me when I am way too down to do anything.

Thanks again for all the amazing suggestions Daffodil

OP posts:
Whatpaint · 16/05/2021 17:22

Sorry to hear you slipped but great that you are beginning to feel more positive now.

I’m glad you like the Tisserand roller balls Smile

And the Tiny mantra is great too.

It’s good to revisit this thread and take a few moments to look back at the many positive suggestions.

Onto the ‘tiny’ mantra, I’m off to paint a fence panel while it is not raining. One at a time…

inthekitchensink · 16/05/2021 21:34

Keep going lovely, one tiny step at a time. This too shall pass Flowers