If you have got through depression without tablets, come and talk to me

[NAB3]

Sorry, that it is me again.

Great, that makes things a bit easier.

Can you remember the name of the tablets you were on? How long where you on them roughly? Did you come off them suddenly or did you reduce them slowly over a period of a few weeks?

How did you feel when you were on the tablets? I get the feeling from your other treads that you now feel totally out of sink / control of your feeling now you are off of the tablets.

You do seem to be having a hard time of it. Lots of people go through it and there is no shame in any of your emotions.

By the way I was medicated for one dose of clinical depression. I throw the tablets in the bin and sorted myself out. So I am sure I can offer you some help.

don't know what to suggest, the things that work for me are, meeting up with mates, getting out of the house and sunshine.

TBH I can't accept that if someone has true chemical depression that they can sort themselves out, and I would love to be proved wrong.

I can't go back on tablets again as it won't help in the long run. How about I say my depression is emotional, not chemical, does that explain it better?

x posts. You seem to have insights so what is the root of your depression. The only way you will be free of it is to confront it however painful.

Counciling will onyl work if you have a great counciler and you are prepared to confront the thing that is the problem.

It took me years to find the courage to do it. but since I have I have been free of what is terribly crippling.

I lost my Dad suddenly almost 2 yrs ago...I couldn't cope with life and just didn't want to be here...I wanted to be with him - I was very close to my Dad and loved him so much.

I went to my GP and told him I couldn't carry on like this especially as I've got two young children and I asked him to put me on ADs.

He was against prescribing them...he told me it will be much harder for you to come off of them than it is to go on them and they will do you more harm than good.

Had I put the pressure on I'm sure he'd have prescribed them but I took his advice and left.

Yes I was very down, felt very lonely and obviously devastated at losing my lovely Dad. But I fought it - I kept telling myself that I would get through this awful time in my life, which lasted about 6 months.

I tried to think of the positive things in life - the fact I have a lovely healthy family of my own and a fantastic dh and even the fact that I am healthy and well myself.

It was hard but my GP was right and I thank him for that.

It depends what you mean by sort yourself out, i coudl spend 365 days a year doped up to the eyeballs or worse having to endure ECT or I could have about 15 days of absolute hell a year, I chose the latter.

well that depends, Chemical depression can be sorted with other things, diet, sun light, fitness. But you have to be very intune with your condition. w

when you say counselling doesn't work for you what do you mean? Sometimes you have to try a few different counsellors to see which person's style works best for you. Have you tried psychotherapy?

If only it was just 15 days a year.

I have had 3 lots of counselling and none of the people got me at all. One was obsessed with why I split from a BF at 17.

if you know what caused the depression then it might be worth going down the talking therapy.
i am struggling with depression at the moment and am putting off the tablets in the hope i can get throu without them.

I have had two courses of ADS in consecutive winters until I realised all the depression disapeared as soon as I was in a sunny place. I got myself one of those light boxes for SAD last year and it really made the difference: No tablets and no depression.

I need to remind myself to use it this winter.

Look I could be totally off the mark here. But what is it that you so afraid to say. Because I get the feeling that you trying not to say a particular thing.

Wry smile there, SNS, as I was about to post something. Obviously forgotten now.

It has taken a lot of work and many years to get it down to that number and I am a complete basket case for those days I am a real suicide risk and I always manage some form of self harm or acting in a manic way, usually about 2 days in the lead up to my period.

For the rest of the year I am prone to black moods, I am very self critical, I binge eat, have mood swings and cry a lot but I am quite good at self managing that and feel it is a resonable pay off for not being on medication and for cleaning up my disastrous health record which has enabled me to go back to work.

If I was manic for much longer than that during the year I would consider medication.

NAB it sounds like you could use a good talking to (in the nicest sense). You are clearly lovely (your children love you, your DH is supportive and hands on - all your words btw) though you aren't giving yourself any positive feedback.
As others have said, getting out and doing something just for you can be a great tonic (I personally couldn't bring myself to do even that and wallowed in self hatred for ages which made everything a whole lot worse) So perhaps it's time for you to discover why you feel you deserve to be so miserable and why you are keeping yourself in that state. I feel sure you weren't always this sad.

Talking face to face can be so therapeutic. As StaryNightSky said, the Samaritans are totally anonymous and can be very supportive, and you can be referred by your gp to a cousellor in many places. I found a private one (make sure you check references) who was wonderful and gave me the confidence and the ability to question myself and get things back into perspective when I started to slide again. I dumped a 20yr career (as a senior finance and corporate plans manager) and have never been happier. Emotionally, I dumped a whole lot more. I live, rather than struggle now.

sorry if that was waffly but I just wanted to get across how things can change for you too.

People in my past haven't wanted to know me once they knew things about me.

I am always holding something back as if I say it out loud I will have to acknowledge that it all really happened and it was really me.

There are lots of forms of couselling and you may find that you need to find the right one or perhaps a combination.

I am definitely frightened to be happy. Whenever I was as a kid it got taken away from me.

You have an absolute right to be happy.

i could be way off the mark here but it sounds as thou you are struggling from effects of an abusive childhood

Nab

Look you don't know me from adam or eve. This is why I love Cyber space. I'm not going to judge you nor is any one else.

I am not going to ask you talk about things that you dont want to. I can't CAT but I am happy to talk off line if it is easier for you. My email is [email protected]

I will happily listen or tell you what I went through but I don't want to do that on here as it would not be fair to you. I'll be arround all night.

why

Sometimes a good talking to or someone being firm with you does help.

I can remember my dp once finding me in a manic fit, throwing things around in the kitchen trying to find a drink and tablets to take. He picked me up thrashing about half dressed and dumped me in the car and drove me to the middle of nowhere in the lakes where he let me scream, shout and sob until I had got it out of my system and calmed myself down. Luckily we always have waterproofs fleeces and walking boots in the car!