Can depression be a life long condition?

[notolerance]

Have been suffering depression on & off for over 6 years now (think it's been longer but only really accepted this then). Came off ad's (for about 5th time) in August but am now again reaching that point in life where every-thing seems just too much and life is one big chore that I'm not enjoying. I have 3 dd's (1,4 & 7) who are very full on, dh works v.long hrs and by the time he gets home in the evenings I'm just too tired to talk to him and consequently our relationship is suffering. Just feel like crying the whole time. Have booked to go back to doc on Tues as think I'm gonna have to be on ad's all my life. This in itself is v.upsetting as it makes me feel a failure. Have had counselling & CBT but outcome was I just need to relax more - yeah right - how do I fit that into my life.
Sorry for rant but just feel so low.

[notolerance]

MorticiasMother - that's exactly what dh says to me but I really believe when I'm at my lowest it's not that simple, I really do wish it was - believe me! I don't enjoy feeling so crap & low the whole time & do wish I could rise above it, it's as if there is this horrid barrier around me that's stopping me enjoying life.

[Spink]

be as kind as you can to yourself Sometimes a good way to tell depression to p* off is to try not feel guilty that you are not doing what you think you "should" be doing (getting out, doing exercise, giving yourself a kick up the arse etc etc). Guilt is one of the strategies depression uses to make you feel bad, after all, the bugger.
it helps me sometimes to give myself permission to stop putting pressure on myself to 'get better' ... there are days to push yourself and days to rest.
xx

[MorticiasMother]

It's not simple, trust me. Trouble is that no-one can help you but yourself. I got angry with myself, angry that I was worrying the kids, frightening them too at times, I was worrying dh and I was missing out on the nicer things in life. I got really really angry about all of that and that's what spurred me on to get tough. Read the self help plan again in the link earlier down, do those little things because they are only little things and they are achievable. I guarantee that doing those little things will make a huge difference in how you feel and every small achievement that you make spurs you onto to try bigger challenges.