I can't do this anymore

[TooLateNotAnymore]

I’ve tried.
So long.
But it’s not enough.
Whatever I do.
How do you keep going?

[2017SoFarSoGood]

that stinks. I've found though that when the strong one finally says no more, magically the head in the sand one often perks up. And picks up some of the load. Or at least recognizes how much you are carrying, and gets help. You do sound like it is all so very heavy for you to carry alone.

Is there anyone else who you feel you can talk to?

[TooLateNotAnymore]

I don’t know

[PenelopeStoppit]

Write it down here if you can't write it for your DP. Someone here will have gone through something similar. You will see you are not as alone as you may think.

[2017SoFarSoGood]

well for now talk to us. We're listening. Just say what you can.

[WillowWeeping]

There's lots of good advice available to you here if you just ask. But you do need to ask. No one here can read your mind.

[Phantomoutforthechill]

We are all here because in each of our own ways we can identify with some aspect of what you are feeling.

[Allabitmuchisntit]

Your dh really needs to know how you're feeling. It's too important.

[FangsAlot]

Keep posting here

[missladybird]

Things always seem more dreadful late at night. I'm not dismissing your thoughts and feelings, you do sound like you're in a lonely, desperate situation - but there is always a way out of feeling so bad (I speak from experience).

What changes could you make so that things get better? Not necessarily big changes, but small doable steps in the right direction really do help.

[NotJustThreeSmallWords]

Please phone Samaritans 116 123 - they helped me when I was at the brink of falling over. They were amazing and I'm still here.
Sometimes life gets too much. It won't always be like this.

[Phantomoutforthechill]

Goodnight Op. Please take NJTSW advice on board. I am looking forward to your update tomorrow morning.

[lifeandtheuniverse]

OP - sick children are draining in a way no one understands.

Like you I was the family rock - my kid was serious sick, my parent was dying my siblings stuck their heads in the sand, DH had an affair - his OW pretended to be pregnant to get him to move out, my sister got serous sick, her kid came to live wit us, I was doing chemo days, radio days, working - being bullied at work, stroppy upset teenager about her mum, sick child getting sicker..........

I booked 4 days away with sick DC, other DC and niece - told my siblings and about to be EX that they needed to do the hospital stuff and went away. 4 days later came back - same stresses but everyone else shouldered a little of the responsibility - about 20% but I could cope. Told everyone if I did not go away I would snap - I was .......

2017 is right - if you do not ask, then no one does anything because they think you are coping - I was dying inside.

Speak up OP - it can not get worse and I can guarantee even a small improvement, gives you a better perspective.

[Daisy62]

OP, you're not alone, there are women reading tonight who are thinking of you, and rooting for you, and hoping you can get some strength and comfort. Calling Samaritans would be a good idea - talking to someone who will listen. 116 123.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

It’s not just evenings.
I managed to pull back over a week ago.
I thought. Hoped.
But it’s been so long.
But it doesn’t change.
I hope we helped/supported DC1 though potentially fatal illness.
So glad if DC1 pulled through.
Not sure yet.
But impact on other DCs awful.
And DC1 seems to resent it.
And I am the focus of the anger and resentment.
Not DH
But I was the one who took months off
But also to have to keep going.
To put food on the table.
To pay the mortgage.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

Life
Thank you for sharing. It helps.
Unfortunately I have asked/shared with DH.
It’s in the “too difficult” box.

[lifeandtheuniverse]

You need to go and talk to someone.

I did, was a mess and then a switch flipped in my head and I got a new level. I am so anti pysch counselling but omg - being to pour it all out to someone was huge.

YOur DC ill get there - the anger is fear, they will calm down. Mine 4 yrs down the line - hates their bad body for letting them down but not me for making them go through the stuff - yours is taking it out on yu because you are the rock, the one and they know you will still be there and love them - does not make it easy though.
Be proud of what you are achieving - it comes with time

[Daisy62]

OP, I'm wondering if you've had a carer's assessment while supporting your ill child? It might be a way of getting access to some help for yourself.

[PenelopeStoppit]

If you are in the UK you may be able to get NHS family counselling. It could help all of your DC with the events and in turn help your partner listen. Speak to your GP. Don't be ashamed of breaking down in front of them. Let them see you need support.

[2017SoFarSoGood]

OP Listen to Life - you are the rock that your DC depend on. Stand strong. Getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Tonight you've reached out to all of us- that's a good step. Next you can call Samaritans and have a real live voice to listen, and not judge. Tomorrow reach out to your doctor or someone who knows your family situation. One small step at a time. You can do it - you know you can. You have shown amazing strength so far. You can do it.

[Anymajordude]

How are you this morning op?

[SparklyMagpie]

How are you feeling this morning OP?
Did you manage to get any sleep? X

[Pavlova31]

Good morning TooLate I hope you got some rest last night

[LouMumsnet]

Morning OP. We're really sorry to hear that you're feeling so low right now.



We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Op, we're moving this thread to the Mental Health topic now, where we hope you'll get more useful advice.

Thanks all.

[Daisy62]

Hello OP - hoping that you got some sleep and wondering how you're feeling today.

[2017SoFarSoGood]

Another day here, TooLate - how are you feeling today? Did you get to talk to anyone IRL?