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To be wanting some confirmation of reality?

143 replies

Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 01:55

I know I get psychosis and paranoia. I'm on a pile of meds. But tonight I'm really struggling with thoughts of nanobots in my brain controlling my thoughts. I know it's not true but I also think it might be true. It's definitely possible, I read an article about it in New Scientist.

Anyway, is anyone up to help me work it out?

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Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 12:27

Feeling a lot less unhinged now but scared abour it all coming back tonight

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Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 12:37

Tried to ring my care Co ordinator but she's off till Wednesday

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Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 13:00

What should I do?

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BillSykesDog · 19/09/2016 13:05

Can you ask to speak to whoever is covering her work while she's off. Tell them it's urgent. Is there anybody who can be with you tonight if you need it? Boyfriend or mother?

ApocalypseSlough · 19/09/2016 13:12

Green you are doing so well! Flowers
Can you call your care coordinator again and ask to talk to whoever is looking after their caseload?

Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 17:24

My boyfriend is coming round tonight, which is good

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Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 17:26

Thank you all so much for your support. I've been paint shopping now and I'm feeling a lot more normal.

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 19/09/2016 18:08

Green I am very happy to hear that.

Brekekekex · 19/09/2016 18:15

Hi greendress, I just read through your thread and wanted to post and tell you how brilliant you are. You are showing so much insight - I hope this doesn't sound patronising but I know how hard that can be, so bloody well done you. I hope you get some follow-up from your care team soon, and don't feel bad about keeping on at them to contact you. The squeaky wheel gets the oil etc and maybe your meds need a little tweak.

Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 18:25

I don't feel like I'm brilliant. I feel like I'm rapidly going insane.

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pugsake · 19/09/2016 18:30

What meds are you on green if you don't mind me asking?

I know everyone reacts different but I've been stable for a year on aripiprizole (sp)

Quetiapine nearly gave me a breakdown and I wasn't keen on respiridone.

ihatethecold · 19/09/2016 19:04

My son is on quetiapine.
He has what you've been experiencing op.
Well done for telling your mum.
My ds is very open about his problems but he does have hallucinations that he believes are real. It can be quite frightening for him.
I never mind him telling me about it.
I want to support him as much as I can.
He struggles to sleep at night like yourself.
Unfortunately MH services are not consistent with the care he receives.
Look after yourself op.
Flowers

Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 19:11

Sertraline, aripiprazole and lamotrigine.

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building2016 · 19/09/2016 19:16

Green, I'm so so impressed with you. You've caught yourself at the (potential) beginning of an episode which is kind of amazing, I think.

Also, my husband works in robotics and artificial intelligence and no, those things you mentioned are definitely not realities.

AmyGMumsnet · 19/09/2016 20:57

Hi there Greendress123

We hope you're ok.

We hope you don't mind, and we know that you have a crisis team you are talking to, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. As other posters have said, you can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from the wonderful support you're getting on this thread, but we wanted to make sure you're aware of all the support that's out there in real life too.

Apologies for hijacking your thread and we hope things look up for you soon Flowers

Greendress123 · 19/09/2016 22:48

My boyfriend is staying over. We're watching parks and recreation :-)

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building2016 · 20/09/2016 00:01

Lovely stuff.

minatiae · 20/09/2016 01:04

I have read the paper that the article you read was based on. Assuming the data are accurate, the researchers did indeed control nanobots through thought, but it's not as simple as it sounded in the New Scientist article.

The setup was basically this: Nanobots were designed to activate when heated. These nanobots were injected into cockroaches, and the cockroaches were placed in a container. A human was connected to a machine that measures EEG. The machine was programmed to heat up the chamber when the human's EEG gave out a certain reading. When the chamber heated up, the nanobots were activated. The human's thoughts did nothing to the nanobots -- they just triggered a change in condition in the chamber which was able to activate the nanobots.

As you can see, this is nowhere near at the level of random brain activity being able to activate any nanobots in a human's brain. The human brain (well, the EEG pattern) was used as a vehicle to deliver a stimulus to a machine that activated nanobots in a very controlled setting. Not much different than if a person had used a switch to increase the heat in the chamber instead of the EEG data.

As long as you're not in a chamber and there's nobody hooked up to a machine measuring EEGs anywhere nearby, no nanobots are being activated.

(I hope this doesn't come across as offensive or minimizing, I just thought it might be helpful to you to understand more about what you read and how it isn't really mind control at all).

Greendress123 · 20/09/2016 07:54

Thank you, that does actually help.

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Greendress123 · 20/09/2016 07:57

I slept really well last night. Only got to sleep at half past midnight as opposed to my usual 9pm (as well as daytime naps) but I reckon that's probably nearer to normal for most of the population. If I can get my bedtime to about half ten/eleven with no daytime naps I'll be really really happy.

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 20/09/2016 13:53

It's the meds making you sleep a lot. Mine do too (quetiapine & sodium valproate).

Sleepy/doziness and weight gain are the 2 main side effects for me, and I hate it, but my meds are keeping me nice and stable. Fat and happy, that's my mantra. I live for afternoon naps ;)

Greendress123 · 21/09/2016 16:23

So I had to go to the mental health building today to see the woman who is running a cbt based group course I'm going on and to take some baseline measures. Obviously my answers were a bit alarming as she went to get my cpn who happened to be in the office. The cpn is going to ask the doctor if I can increase my anti psychotic.

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building2016 · 21/09/2016 16:57

Okay, well done on telling them. Hopefully they will sort your meds out.

Greendress123 · 21/09/2016 21:05

I'm not sure if I want to increase the anti psychotic though. It will make me more drowsy again and everyone gets spooked in the early hours of the morning - that's pretty normal.

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Greendress123 · 21/09/2016 21:15

I've reported this thread and asked for it to be moved to mental health, I think that's more appropriate than chat.

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