So incredibly anxious over dd

[Givinguph0pe]

She was six weeks early and is now ten weeks, four weeks corrected. I'm so incredibly anxious about her that I feel like I can't breathe. Every little thing that she does that's different or if she's sick after a feed or something I'm convinced she's going to die or at best we are going to have to be admitted back into hospital.
I'm having support from perinatal mental health and was prescribed sertraline (sp) which dh won't let me take as I'm expressing for dd and she's having breast milk exclusively which is a whole other source of anxiety (will I have enough milk, will I be home in time to express if I go out, how much should I warm for her in a bottle so none is wasted etc)
I desperately want to feel better, I feel sick and anxious all the time, I only eat because otherwise I don't make any milk and frankly if it wasn't for ds I'd have liked taken an insulin overdose several weeks back. I can't do anything normal like read a book, watch TV or see friends because I'm too distracted all the time. The house feels unfamiliar and sinister and I think all the time that something awful is going to happen and I can't shake it.
Is there anything else I can do? Any form of CBT maybe? I'm just not coping and I feel a completely different person to the one I was before I had my daughter and not one I like. I feel like the world has ended actually and just want to cry all the time.

[NanaNina]

I think we all feel the same minipie but there's nothing we can do except support this mom with her prem baby and 6 year old. She clearly doesn't want to talk about the relationship but (D) H is obviously very controlling.

OP hope you got a bit more sleep last night. Am I right in thinking you don't want to talk about your r/shp with DH for whatever reason.

[minipie]

Fair enough Nana

[Getyercoat]

I've just read this thread and it's like reading about me five years ago.
Please, please believe me when I say things will get better, you will get better.
Who's on your side? A mum, a sister, a good friend? You need to speak to the person(s) on your side now and tell them exactly how you're feeling.