felt prompted to write this by the fear of losing parents thread as I feel v guilty about feeling opposite to that at times.
My father died 14 years ago which was horrible (1 week before I went to uni) - my mum has suffered from depression for years and has attempted suicide several times (when I was in my teens) - she always blamed her bad marriage for a lot of her problems so I naively thought in the long run she would be ok after dad died - but problems and debts mounted up and her general inability to cope became more obvious.
Finally she moved away from the town were dad had died and her life was at its lowest ebb and lived near my older sister and built up a bit of a life again, debt problems were still there but she had help from sis.
Now she has moved in with me as a temporary measure and is looking to move around here, I have discovered she is owed loads of back taxes which will clear her debt and leave her with money in the bank and she is spending loads of time with beloved grandkids - but she is still so low sometimes and so ungracious I could scream - depression seems to leave her very unaware of the effect her moods have on others - i.e. me.
I have been as patient and helpful as I can yet I don't feel she will ever be able to cope without lots of help and it is exhausting (I have a toddler and baby to look after as well and dh of course!!)
I look at my dh's parents both having suffered illhealth recently but their relentless energy and emotional and financial support to us has been amazing - I feel myself resenting dh sometimes because I have taken on a parental role with my mum which I don't always enjoy - then I feel a total bitch to think that and know I have so much to be grateful for as mum did so well bringing me and my brothers and sisters up ... it is very frustrating and lonely. There I said it - and I think anyone who has read this far deserves a medal!!! I have namechanged out of shame.