has anyone overcome overeating?

[NewYearsDaysie]

I hate myself. I CANNOT and I really mean cannot stop stuffing my face with crap. I keep putting on weight and I'd love to lose about 8 stone (to make me vaguely normal) I have motivation to lose the weight health, kids, wanting to look nice for hubby but I just cannot stop myself doing it! I'm feeling incredibly down at the moment and previously have overeaten then made myself sick, or used blades on myself which helps a lot but obviously isn't good.
Has anyone overcome overeating and how did you do it. Please don't say 'go out and find a hobby as I will scream. DH says it all the time as tho its a magic cure.

[BrightPlacesBoomBands]

Hi SmallCardi, and sorry, I didn't mean to be mysterious. I don't know her personally and haven't worked with her. Just been trying to get to grips with some struggles of my own recently (not weight-related in particular) and stumbled across her while trawling the virtual self-help world! I know the website/blog is probably a bit woo woo for lots of people's tastes, but I do think she's right that overcoming overeating is more about learning to be kinder to ourselves and more honestly attentive to our needs than about being yet more strict and disapproving.

[FiftyShadesofViper]

I watched an episode of a programme called Ruby on a satellite channel, about a very large lady and weight loss. By coincidence it was about a group of 6 women at an intensive 6 day program for food addiction and I was struck by some of the stuff that came out (although some of them had really traumatic lives, which luckily I don't)

I don't want to sound dramatic but I feel that I know so much about food and diets that there must be a reason why I can't just do it. Like I'm missing a piece of a jigsaw that will make everything fit together.

I'm sure it's something psychological for me (unless I'm just greedy and making excuses!). Has anyone tried counselling or hypnosis?

[madmouse]

May I but in (size 20, disordered eating since age 7 due to s. abuse, slowly beating it).

I really recommend the book Overcoming Binge Eating by C. Fairburn - it's a basic but good CBT program. It's on the NHS bibliotherapy program as well. I learned so much from it.

My personal new therapist is called Andy - the dog we got 3 weeks ago. Suddenly I'm walking on average 1.5 hours a day, including in the evening with ds in bed. I'm more relaxed, sleep more and eat less. We got the dog for ds but I may be the biggest beneficiary.

[madmouse]

Oh and may I please please implore all of you to stop calling yourself greedy bastards, pigs and whatever else? That is actually part of the problem. Part of why you eat is because you don't like yourself, there's a void to fill, you fill it with food, you feel even worse.

Turn it around. You are a good person worthy of love and attention - from other people and from yourself. I'm not saying this lightly. I was very badly abused and raped between the ages of 7-11 and bear the scars physically and mentally. I've had to fight in therapy to learn to accept myself. I learned to care for my feet first, they had not been implicated in the abuse, not been touched. Then my legs. Stuck on my hands, still, caring for them is hard. But I have learned my own value. I've learned that I deserve the friendship and love and receive because I do, and for no other reason.

What you say to yourself really does matter. So your weakness is eating. And?? It does not make you an unworthy person. Everyone has weak spots and foibles. The problem is that when you binge and gain weight it's so bloody visible. But that does not make you a worse person than others!!

Oops bit of a rant there feel kind of strongly about it.

[Latara]

Not got time to go into details but i ended up nearly 4 stone overweight due to binge eating.
Now I've lost 1 & a half stone, & still losing weight.
It's very very hard!

I recommend the following:

Decide on a target weight - it has to be realistic - mine is 10 stone which would make my BMI 24.5 - the higher end of 'normal'.

Decide on a timeframe - again, realistic. Losing 1-2lbs a week is acheivable, safe, & slow weight loss means you are more likely to keep the weight off.

Get a dietician / GP to work out a daily calorie target based on your height & weight, BMI, BMR, gender, age & daily activity level.
My GP referred me to a dietician who worked out that i should eat 1500 cals on a day when i don't exercise, & 1700 cals approx if i do exercise.
Do monitor your fat (especially saturates), sugar & salt intake. These can all be unhealthy at high levels.

Remember that it's how much fat there is INSIDE your body (the 'body fat') that's dangerous - even a thin person can have a high 'body fat' level if they eat unhealthily & don't exercise.

Don't cut out any food groups - you will miss out on important nutrients.
Don't allow yourself to get hungry - you will just fill up on junk. Snack on vegetables for example.

Think of food in terms of nutrition - eg. a biscuit is 50 calories & so is a small apple. The apple will keep your blood sugar balanced, & contains important fibre & vitamins; but what nourishment would a biscuit give you?

Ask your GP for an 'MOT' & advice before starting to exercise - get your BP, pulse, & all your bloods checked, maybe even ask for an ECG. Be honest with your GP - tell them that you need to lose weight but you need to find out if you are fit enough for exercise.
Only choose exercise that you will enjoy - i like the gym, dancing, hiking.
Friends enjoy circuits, boot camp (eek), running, surfing, cycling, swimming etc.
If you force yourself to do exercise that bores you then you will give up.
BUT you will hate it at first because to lose weight you need to get out of breath to be honest - you will get through that though & feel good, so stick with it.
Weights are good as weight training tones your skin & muscles, plus you will keep burning fat for hours after each session.
You must warm up before exercise, then stretch after exercise & cool down properly, or you risk injury.

Watch out for 'diet saboteurs' - eg. family offering you cakes, friends buying chocolates... they have various motivations - some are well-meaning & some get jealous of successful weight loss (even thin people)!

So, i count calories, fat & sugar content, then make sure my food contains as few chemicals as possible.
I have cut out junk food & swapped it for healthy basic food.
I can't keep junk food or takeaway menus in the house because i will binge on it - but since i went 'cold turkey' i'm losing the taste for it.
I actually have had sleepless nights as my food cravings have been so bad - but i've got over it now, it's difficult but if i can do it, so can anyone!!
Eg. if i crave a sugary snack i eat small tomatoes or organic carrots as they are sweet yet healthy.

MAIN TIP - you have to be READY to stop eating junk food - it's an addiction & with all addictions you need to understand WHY you are addicted. That is what helped me the most.

IMPORTANT: Start to try feeling good about yourself NOW. Don't waste your life planning for 'When i've lost the weight' - wear flattering pretty clothes, supportive underwear that fits properly, wear make up & style your hair EVERY DAY.
Wear a good sports bra, & flattering comfortable clothes for exercise.
But you don't need to spend a fortune to look good.

Enjoy your life NOW - while you start to lose weight.
Write down a list of your good qualities & ask your family to write down why they love you - look at the list if you feel low.

Your confidence will increase with weight loss - but i fell into the trap of feeling attractive once i lost a stone, so stopped bothering to lose weight then regretted it.
I remembered that i may look & feel better after losing some weight but i'm still obese with a lot of inner body fat - which is bad for my physical health. So I've carried on trying to acheive my target.

Good luck, PM for any more tips.

[DaysieGoneBananas]

OP with namechange here.
This is worrying me...I'm not well today. Can't eat as have crippling cramps across my tummy BUT on some level I am really happy about it. It means that I can't eat and my mind is saying surely that is a good thing. I am happier today than I have been in weeks and its because I have no appetite and my two bites have toast have casued me agony. I am seriously fucked up. :(

[madmouse]

I'm the same OP - it's because something else is making the decision for me. I have stomach issues and have had to give up caffeine and fizzy drinks. I wish the doc had banned me from chocolate instead.

[TheLightPassenger]

latara - just skimmed your post, looked v thorough and helpful, will come back to it.

OP - be kind to yourself about your attitude towards food - our culture is so screwed up with attitudes to food, dieting, being "good", attributing moral badness to fatness etc, it's no wonder that not having an appetite feels like a good thing, despite the phyiscal discomfort.

[TheLightPassenger]

ah yes Latara, I am not good enough at avoiding processed crap, and avoiding low cal crappy diet cakes and biscuits, but other than that I do/advocate all the stuff you have mentioned, and am at a very similar stage of weight loss etc.

[madmouse]

Babs did you, or anyone else, see the posts I wrote on Wednesday 13 June about exactly that?

[madmouse]

Then maybe write them down? Would that help?

Or just say 'My eating is out of control and I'm harming myself with it. Please help me'. Don't say your weight is the problem because it isn't. If you say that you probably get a diet sheet or a subsidized subscription to WW.

But you can and should choose to stop calling yourself names. Another big thing with eating disorders especially binge eating is being governed by feelings. Feelings are not objective laws that must be obeyed, they are often unhelpful. You don't need to do what they say. I learned in psychotherapy that feelings are often the last thing to change, you need to start with your actions and choices.

[Heavensmells]

Do gp's help though? I am overweight due to binging. I do feel like food controls my life and diets work for a while then the binging wins and I am off the wagon.
I know what I need to do to lose weight. I have good knowledge about nutrition and the effects if obesity on the body so what can me gp do to help?

[madmouse]

They can refer you for counselling or CBT to tackle the causes of your eating. Even if it is just habit - habits can be changed, but ingrained habits take time. But often the causes go much deeper.

Diets don't work because they don't tackle the why.

[Latara]

My biggest worry about losing weight is that because i'm nearly 36 i will develop facial lines or slack skin around my jaw area; apparently the collagen that holds your skin in place is not as good when you are older? That's what magazines aimed at over 30s say anyway.
I have decided to start daily facial exercises, will order a book from Amazon on that; will keep wearing lots of spf25 moisturiser, i already drink lots of fluids & eat almonds & oily fish.
Most importantly..... i will stick to reading Cosmo, Grazia, Reveal, Glamour, Company & (my fave cos of the clothes) Look. All good articles on clothes, makeup, fit men & sex, festivals & Ibiza.. & all fairly realistic (as much as you can expect from fashion mags anyway) re: weight.
I will avoid magazines aimed at older readers such as Best, Woman, Woman's Own, GH, plus definitely avoid the DM! - ignore the dire articles about 'what will happen as you age'!! oh yes & 'how your fertility declines over 30'... do they want all their readers to hate themselves??!
Also avoid ultra-critical magazines that point out celebrities 'flaws' eg Heat & Now. On one page they will say a celeb is too thin, on the next say they are too fat - fgs!!

Re: If i want to binge then i go to the supermarket & buy 1 tub Ben & Jerry's low-fat frozen Cherry Garcia yoghurt then eat the tub straight away - it's v sugary so tongue gets sore - that instantly makes me want to go back to the fruit & veg!! Also will buy Galaxy chocolate - 2 bars (45g each) makes me feel quite sick.
I have that instead of a meal so not adding too much extra calories.

I binge max once a week now.
I allow myself a daily 'treat' eg 1 scoop good quality proper ice cream - mint is best as it makes other food taste too minty.
I like ice lollies - but they must be under 100 cals each with minimal fat - Fab lollies or R White's lemonade lollies are good.
Instead of cola i drink a glass of Appletiser or fruit juice, still sugary but better than lots of chemicals.

If i crave pizza then i cook Tesco's own thin crust veg pizza - lowest cals & fat but tastes good - eat half one day then half the next - only 355 cals for half, & max 4.8g sat fat (still a lot but better than most pizzas!)

If i crave curry then i buy a low fat & low cal side dish - bombay potato is v spicy & v filling; i recommend Sainsbury's own.

By eating more healthy food i find that i've lost the desire to eat junk food - i can look at a block of cheese, slice of cake or a plate of fries & just don't want it.
When you cut down on fat then you find that you actually can't tolerate it soon.
The danger point is work - always lots of chocs from patients & cakes made by other staff - so i take small tubs of sweet grapes, crackers & Rich tea biscuits, or go to the fridge & drink a glass of semi-skimmed milk.
I still crave chocolate during PMT but i buy a bar max 45g & try to eat slowly.
I love sugary food & drinks - so just swapped them for equally sweet but healthier choices - eg grapes, pineapple chunks, baby plum tomatoes, baby sweetcorn, max 100ml apple juice.
AVOID 'diet' foods - not filling enough, often bad chemical ingredients, contain extra sugar to make up for less fat - better to eat a tin of salmon in brine, sweetcorn, & salad veg than have a 'diet ready meal'.
Also - Ryvita contain NO oil or sugar - i break them into small pieces & eat like they are small biscuits with a cup of tea or skimmed milk.
IN CAFES - unless they sell eg fruit or just a plain bread roll to spread with a small amount of real butter then i buy at least 2 drinks (Americano coffee or tea & skim milk) then ask if i can eat my own snack as i'm 'on a special diet' - they always say yes.
RESTAURANTS - ask for no dressing on salad; remember you can always order 'off menu' within reason - staff at non-chain restaurants are more helpful i find.

Hope that helps!!

[madmouse]

Latara that's dieting advice (some good some dodgy) - It's not going to help with stopping binge eating. You will find most bingers never have dressing on their salad in the first place and eat very few calories at meal times to try and limite damage.

Certainly I had to learn to eat proper, nice, varied meals before I could start reducing binges.

[TheLightPassenger]

I agree with madmouse, I think the first step to getting the bingeing under control is regular meals and snacks, keeping blood sugar reasonably steady. The nitty gritty of dieting may or may not be appropriate after getting on top of the bingeing, some may find consciously dieting triggering.

[DaysieGoneBananas]

I always find evenings after 8pm are worst. I'm sat here now...utterly satisfied by my tea but running through the contents of the kitchen in my head..'what can I have, what can I have, what can I have?' on repeat. I had trouble with my gall bladder about 8 months ago and stopped eating fat as fat = excrutiating pain. It's started again and I've stopped the fat again. I'm finding it easy as if I eat it I end up crouched on the floor in agony. Last time I list 2 stone. I hope I keep to it this time.

[madmouse]

Try CBT Babs

[orangeandlemons]

Can I join this? I don't know what to do either. If I even try to minimise sugary crap to normal levels, I go mad for it and binge like ma and just don't kow how to stop. It's getting worse and worse.

I am interested in the exercise thing BUT, I have a job when I'm on my feet all day. When I've worn a pedometer I wasl between 8 and 10 miles per day, and I'm just too physically knackered to do exercise when I get home. My feet and legs kill me (but probaly wouldn't if I was lighter ) I can't do swimming as am allergic to chlorine, and just HATE swimming full stop.

[orangeandlemons]

...and I think I'm quite fit. Can do 1/2 hours quite fast on a treadmill really easily...so just don't know what to do really