I've had depression 3 times in my life, only diagnosed in the last period, but looking back I see the similarities with the previous 2 episodes. I'm trying to work out whether I'm heading for a 4th spell, or if this is just normal tiredness/ grumpiness etc.
I've been feeling increasingly down in the last few weeks, not sleeping brilliantly, lacking motiviation to get things done, and increasingly short tempered with everyone and everything.I certainly never used to be this short tempered. And I've started wanting to cry a lot more often. I'm not as depressed as I was the last time, at that point I used to try and work out how I could crash my car so i would only break my leg, but then could get siigned off work for several months.
I'm trying to work out if this is the beginning of depression or a reaction to everything else. I have a difficult and demanding job, where I feel I am struggling a bit at the moment, and manage a reasonably large team of high maintenance people. I have 2 very demanding bosses, for whom the work never seems to be good enough. I have a long commute and get up very early in the morning to get to work (I am on a train just before 6), so that makes me tired. DD is the love of my life, she is amazing, but just entering the terrible twos with vengance, (I've got 2 big bite marks on my leg), and I feel bad that I won't spend enough time with her. DH and I are like ships passing each other in the night, we both have difficult jobs and spend too much time working.
But I can't tell if I'm just feeling grumpy and fed up about the commuting/ job/ knackeredness or if this is the beginning of depression? I'm wondering whether to do to the doctor, or if would be wasting her time and should just pull myself together and I'll get over it. Although just writing this down is making me think maybe I should go and see her