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Is the depression coming back or am I just knackered/ fed up?

32 replies

BoredCommuter · 29/01/2011 20:59

I've had depression 3 times in my life, only diagnosed in the last period, but looking back I see the similarities with the previous 2 episodes. I'm trying to work out whether I'm heading for a 4th spell, or if this is just normal tiredness/ grumpiness etc.

I've been feeling increasingly down in the last few weeks, not sleeping brilliantly, lacking motiviation to get things done, and increasingly short tempered with everyone and everything.I certainly never used to be this short tempered. And I've started wanting to cry a lot more often. I'm not as depressed as I was the last time, at that point I used to try and work out how I could crash my car so i would only break my leg, but then could get siigned off work for several months.

I'm trying to work out if this is the beginning of depression or a reaction to everything else. I have a difficult and demanding job, where I feel I am struggling a bit at the moment, and manage a reasonably large team of high maintenance people. I have 2 very demanding bosses, for whom the work never seems to be good enough. I have a long commute and get up very early in the morning to get to work (I am on a train just before 6), so that makes me tired. DD is the love of my life, she is amazing, but just entering the terrible twos with vengance, (I've got 2 big bite marks on my leg), and I feel bad that I won't spend enough time with her. DH and I are like ships passing each other in the night, we both have difficult jobs and spend too much time working.

But I can't tell if I'm just feeling grumpy and fed up about the commuting/ job/ knackeredness or if this is the beginning of depression? I'm wondering whether to do to the doctor, or if would be wasting her time and should just pull myself together and I'll get over it. Although just writing this down is making me think maybe I should go and see her

OP posts:
ovumahead · 02/02/2011 22:38

Glad you're going to order the book - I'd be interested to know how you get on with it, as I've considered buying it before as well.

Take care of yourself between now and your GP appointment, and well done for making the appointment! You won't regret it, I'm sure.

coldtits · 02/02/2011 22:38

Prioritise YOURSELF for the next 48 hours.

Pull a sicky at work (I am seriously not joking, have a bug, have a migraine, have whatever, but just do not go in)

Stay in bed. get up, eat something, go back to bed.

You are risking burnout.

Exactly how much good do you think you are going to be to your boss, your colleagues, your husband, your daughter if you flog yourself into a fucking breakdown???

I did this. I allowed a stressful situation to continue for too long, i had a breakdown, i had to leave work for too months and basically hand my ds over to his dad whenever his dad wasn't at work. I did not recover for a YEAR.

Sort it out before it is too late. You think you have all these big important things to do - get some perspective. You have one life, and if you don't stay healthy it will be short and it will be miserable.

NanaNina · 03/02/2011 13:22

Please do as coldtits suggests BC - the more you push yourself now the worse things will become...... each day you try to struggle on just makes the possibility of a depressive episode greater. I know I've been there and done it and it did!

BoredCommuter · 04/02/2011 13:32

I've been a little unwilling to come back on here, and you must all be thinking I'm ungrateful for ignoring your advice and carrying on work. The first thing I would say is I'm not, I'm enormously grateful for those who take the time to respond, it means such a lot.

I am struggling again today, I still don't know how much is tiredness and how much is depression, as DD was awake for 2 hours during the night. I'm working at home today, and getting things done, but for some reason the anticipation of it all is draining, I popped to the supermarket to get some milk as we had run out (and it was an excuse to get out of the house) and when I got home I just had an overwhelming need to cry. I then recieved a beautiful poem my mum had sent me about a little girl with the same name as DD and that set me off again (and I never normally cry at books or films). I keep wondering whether to try and get a docs appt for this afternoon, but apparently it is medical emergencies only as they have having a systems updrage, and I'm not that so I had just better wait until next week.

Apologies, I think I'm just unburdening myself here as I don't have many clsoe friends I can talk to about this, lots of friends for coffee/ lunch/ facebook etc, but no-one I really share things with. And I jsut worry DH/ my parents etc will just think I'm weak, that I need to pull myself together and get on with it. I also think that's what everyone at work will think too. I know they are deciding bonuses this week and next, and I'm scared that if I go off sick now they will reduce the level of bonus, which isn't fair on DH or DD, as that was meant to pay for a holiday and bolster our savings. Other people have stressful lives and jobs, lots of people on MN have a far more difficult time than I do, but they are not a mess like me, which is why I feel weak when I should pull myself together and be strong.

And now I'm just rambling, and I am listening to you, even though it must appear I'm not, the treadmill is addictive and very hard to get off

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BoredCommuter · 07/02/2011 12:53

Sorry me again, brain is in a fog, got to bed at 1130 last night due to working all evening, up at 530 to get to work. Brain just feels fuzzy, but got loads of work to do. Am in need of docs appt on Friday, but v nervous of reaction of both work and dh and parents, and everyone else in my life who is in the stiff upper lip and just get on with it brigade. Hopefully the book recommended here will arrive today

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lukewarmmama · 10/02/2011 19:35

Hiya, just seen your update. Good luck with the docs tomorrow. One step at a time, just talk to your dh and take it from there, worry about work and wider family later. Good luck.

BoredCommuter · 10/02/2011 21:46

Thank you for the message, luke warm.

Doc tomorrow and we'll see how that goes. I ended up having a long chat to my boss on Wednesday about how unmanagable everything is, I feel a lot better for that. We ended up having a good moan as well (it is an odd sort of boss/ colleague relationship) as she is the only person in the team who works harder than me. We agreed I'm taking a long weekend next weekend, not working this weekend or next. And I've booked a week off in March.

Thank you very much for the recommendation about "the curse of the strong", I've started reading, it's amazing, I know this is a cliche, but in so many ways he is describing my life. I also like the science part.

And the doctor's appt means I get a lie in and don't have to get up at the crack of dawn, so if nothing else, that is a bonus

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