How do you bring up the possibility of a mental health problem for the first time with a GP?

[starsareshining]

Hello. I've been meaning to see a GP for a few years now. I did go about three years ago, but I never bothered to follow any of it up. I can't really cope with living the way I am any longer. I just don't know what to say. It sounds utterly mad to just come out with all of the things that have gone on in the calm and quiet of a GPs office. How do you properly explain things when you're in such a normal setting? I'm worried that I'll just start to feel completely out of it and not be able to talk. Some people have suggested writing a letter. Is that a good idea? Will they be annoyed if it's very long?

Also, I don't know what to say! How do I start? "Hello, I think I'm mad"?! I've finally realised that other people don't experience life the same way that I do, but I don't know how relevant things are. Should I talk about when it all started and how it's changed from there? It's quite recent past (started about 5 years ago), but I have forced myself to act differently and not allowed myself to do things. I've worked very hard to get here but still struggle very much with some things. Does it seem odd that I'm going to see them at a time when my problems aren't at their worst? It isn't really that my thoughts have changed, but I have to force myself to be normal and stable because of my son.

Please tell me what to do! I'm terrified that they'll think I'm a bad mother or start sending people to my house. I don't want anybody in my house, I don't want people checking up on me or asking me questions. Is it reasonable to go to the doctor, tell them things and then expect them to stay out of your life?

Hi again Stars, can see that it is important for you to know what is going to happen if you approach for help and unfortunately it's all a little bit unknown because each mental health trust tends to run its services differently. Do try to not let this put you off. Basically though the GP will probably say that they will refer you for an assessment with either the community mental team or the primary care psychological therapies service (primary care services do not include psychiatrists and probably manage the counsellors/therapists/psychologists available directly via the GP). Some GPs have clinicians attached directly to their surgeries and some access them via a centralised service.

It's very unlikely that someone would come to your house in the first instance, much more likely that you are asked to go to an appointment somewhere, or even have an initial chat over the phone. The crisis teams only come out if someone is actively suicidal or at risk of harming someone else.

No one is going to think that you are a time waster. 1 in 4 visits to the GP are about mental health problems these days. Personally, I wouldn't ask for "counselling" from the G.P. You would be better off with a psychologist or psychiatrist to help you work out what's going on (although, confusingly, there are counselling psychologists) There's a good link here to explain what is a psychologist
www.bps.org.uk/careers/what-do-psychologists-do/areas/areas_home.cfm

Nice article here explaining difference between psychologist and psychiatrist
www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-difference-between-a-psychiatrist-and-a-psychologist.htm

As for your parents knowing, they will not be informed of any treatment unless you decide to include them. It sounds like you feel a deep need to protect them?

As for negative experiences from people you've come into contact with in a helping capacity so far - it happens but not a reason to never reach out again I'd say. There are some wonderful helpers out there who will acknowledge your potential and see through an initial stereotype.

Maybe at this time it might help to write out a list of advantages and disadvantages of seeking help? Perhaps if you could post it here those who have also been in treatment could help you add to it?

Hi, just read your thread and like others I would recommend booking a double appointment with your gp so you have time to explain where you are coming from. I think that long post you wrote was very informative of your situation and perhaps printing it out for your gp to read would enable them to provide you with referral and possible treatment options.

Thanks for those links Eurostar, they were very informative. Sorry that it's taken me so long to come back to this. I've just been thinking about things. I forgot to mention that, on top of all of the usual problems, I do seem to become quite depressed at this time of year. Last year I spent almost all of my time crying/dozing on the settee whilst my son sat in front of the TV. My partner almost left me because it was so difficult to deal with. I do think that that's a seperate issue, so should I mention it like that? That this generally seems to occur at this time of year, but the other problems are always there?

I've just been on the phone to my partner, telling him that I can't go through with it. He got stern. I don't think he believes that I really will go and get it sorted out and doesn't know what to do. I don't think it was particularly helpful though. I just felt as though I was being told off. It's just so embarrassing to admit that your life is a big mess and you can't even do simple things like everyone else.

I just looked into calling Mind for advice, as some posters mentioned earlier, but I only have a mobile phone and I would be charged quite a lot for the call. I think I'll just focus on planning out what I'm going to say and writing out the letter. Would it be best if I left my son with someone else whilst I visited the doctor? I do feel a little uncomfortable with him hearing all of these things, even if he wouldn't be able to understand half of it.

Regarding my parents, I don't think it's that I want to protect them from this, but I just don't want them to know. I cannot stand talking about my feelings with them or anything like that. I really can't stand it. It makes my skin crawl. I'd hate for them to start asking questions and trying to involve themselves in my personal life. I suppose I also feel a little bit angry that they talk about my behaviour then as though I was acting out and they a hard time trying to get me to behave myself. I almost feel as though they want me to apologise to them for being so 'naughty'. When I told them I was pregnant, they told me that they'd been concerned about me and were going to suggest that I saw a doctor, but now they realised that I was just acting weirdly because I was ashamed that I was pregnant. They were actually quite horrible to me throughout all of that. I just can't believe they didn't notice how bad things had become. I lived with them and they didn't even notice that I felt like I wasn't really there for a very long time. Any time they mention anything to do with that time or my behaviour, I immediatly shut down and do not want to talk. And, on the rare occasion that I mention something truthful (the furthest I've gone is saying that I 'wasn't quite myself' at that time), they bring up all of the stuff I said at the time to justify my behaviour, as though I'm lying about it and need to explain myself to them. I can't stand it and don't ever, ever want them to know any of this.

Hi Star,

I thought I?d chip in as I have some experience of this myself. Having suffered from depression/suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager I finally plucked up a courage a few years ago to see a psychologist. After a few months of sessions with them I then went to my GP and asked for anti-depressants. I was worried too about the GP and how they would treat me. But approached it in a very matter of fact way ? I?ve been depressed for x number of years, I am seeing a counsellor, I am still very low and would like some more help. They prescribed me Seroxat.

You?re obviously doing this the other way round. You should ask your GP for a referral to a counsellor. Then later down the line you can request ADs if you need them. They may ask you to fill out a questionnaire which will give you a ?depression score?. You read a statement and then tick a box about how much it applies to you. It?s human nature to try and put a brave face on things and you may find you want to tick the more positive statements. Especially when you?re sat in a lovely Drs office and things seem so calm and normal. Try not to do this, be honest about your feelings and remember how things are when you are at your worst.

A few other things ? your doubts about whether your issues really are big enough to worry a GP are normal. I went through much the same thing. From what you describe you really could do with some help, even if it?s just someone to talk to initially. You are articulate, insightful and humorous about your issues and any mental health professional will probably find it a joy to talk to you! Do NOT think that you will not be a burden or annoying.

The combination of counselling and the ADs totally changed my life. All I regret now is not doing something about it sooner. All those years wasted in a depressive murk feeling worthless and abnormal. Please do go and get help and report back. You deserve to have a better life!